Crushing Gravity
by oooSilverWolfooo
Summary: All Samantha wants is to get through the day, and all the days after. She doesn't want connections holding her to a place, because she knows that she's just going to leave when that place gets tired of her. She doesn't plan on the girl who keeps knocking her down, to pursue a friendship so vigorously, that it's really hard to say no. As long as she doesn't touch her! F/F
1. Chapter 1

**Warning: It's M-ish rated in the first chapter, but that's it; nothing really graphic. (I'll let you know beforehand if anything graphic really does happen, but it probably wont) Might be trigger-y in the beginning but it generally doesn't have a lot of bad stuff; even the swearing drops off after a few chapters. This is a Leah imprint fiction with F/F**

 **Summary:**

 _ **I whirl and shove her. "Back off!" I scream, drawing several eyes. I shove her again and she takes a half step back. It's like pushing a wall. "Just back the fuck off! Leave me alone!" I shove again and she takes a full step back. I go to shove again, because she's still so close that it feels like I'm suffocating, and she grabs my wrists to stop me.**_

 _ **My eyes widen.**_

 _ **"Don't touch me!" I snatch my hands back quick.**_

 _ **Her eyes go wide and jaw tightens.**_

 _ **Anger.**_

 _ **Finally, an emotion that I can understand**_

 **~Silver~**

Crushing Gravity

Chapter 1

Tick

Impatience leaps from my skin in the form of a constant bouncing leg.

Tick

To most people, it would look like a sign of nervousness, of weakness, but I'm not weak or nervous.

Tick.

The blank expression on my face gives away the fact that I've done this a hundred times before.

Tick

The person glaring at me from across the table is growing impatient as well, fingers taping slowly. At least he knows that my bouncing leg isn't me showing weakness, that it's a medical condition.

Tick

Of course he would know, the creepy stalker. He knows my age, my school schedule, my medical records, and he meets with my foster mom practically every week. He's a stalker, a perverted old man.

Tick

God that clock is annoying.

The door swings open and a middle-aged lady walks in looking haggard and furious. She reaches toward the man.

"I'm so sorry Principal Morse," immediately comes out of her mouth. "What did Samantha do this time? Was it another fight?" I scowl at my name coming from her lips. "Did she pull the fire alarm again?"

My Principal sits back down in his chair after shaking hands with my foster mother, and offers her a seat.

She takes it.

"Samantha decided to graffiti the lockers, writing a bad word."

I roll my eyes. "I told you, I didn't do it."

They continue talking as if I'm not even there, so I clench my fists and fall silent. Whatever. They can believe whatever they want.

Why would I even bother to write 'FUCK' on the lockers? It's immature and a waste of time.

Sherry, my stepmother, finally turns to me. "Just wait until John gets a hold of you; you're in so much trouble when we get back to the house."

Now uncertainty worms it's way briefly, before acceptance, and then indifference.

Fine. Whatever.

I'm suspended, again, for ten days.

Sherry takes me back to her house; an angry silence hangs thick in the air. I almost want to push her some and see if _she_ will hit me too.

She hasn't yet, leaving the punishments to her husband, but I kind of want to see how far she would go.

Before I can open my mouth, we pull up to the apartment complex and she's climbing out.

By the time I reach the door, she's already telling John about what I 'did.'

They fall silent as I shut the door to the crappy apartment.

"Well?" He asks quietly, dangerously.

"Well, what?"

The blow was expected, yet it still sent my mind reeling. Spots dance across my vision, making it fuzzy for 3.4 seconds. Then I blink and I'm being shoved to the floor.

"Don't be a smart ass," he snarls, kneeling down to grab me by my jaw. "This was the sixth time we've been called in by your principal, this month."

I remain quiet, holding his stare and waiting for his move. He turns away from me to face his smug looking wife.

"Sherry, why don't you go across town and pick up some food from that nice Chinese place that I like."

"Yes dear," she immediately replies, and I'm sickened as she leaves.

I instantly leap to my feet to make a mad dash to my room so I can climb out the fire escape, but John reaches out with one hand and snags my long black hair.

I'm suddenly back on the ground with John coming at me again with a chuckle.

Me fighting back is cute to him. It's always cute to everybody.

I lash out a foot, kicking him as hard as I can in the face, and his lip busts. He gives me an adoring smile. Freak.

He grabs my foot and drags me toward him as I thrash and kick and hit anything I can reach, including the tables and sofa.

To him, this is a game. It's a game to all of them that I don't want to fucking play.

Sometimes I win.

I flip into my stomach and make to use his face as a platform to spring off of. There's a clink of metal before his strong man hands are tugging be back to him, shoving my pants down around my knees and placing all his weight on me until my arms give out.

I can feel his hard-on pressing into my butt.

And sometimes I loose.

"Get the fuck off me you fucking pedophile!" I scream at him.

I get two hard smack for that, that leaves my bum stinging even as he is finally able to shove my jeans and panties around my ankles.

I give up, laying still because I know they always like it more when you struggle.

He rolls me over, grinning down with a shit-eating smile that says he knows I know he won the game.

He reaches out a gentle hand stroking my cheek lovingly, as the other spreads my legs.

"You have the most beautiful eyes," he says, smoothing my sweat soaked hair and tracing just under the things he claims are so extraordinary.

I don't flinch, or draw away, because I'm not there anymore. Checked out, somewhere else, anywhere but here with what's happening to me.

I don't care. What's it matter if it's just another time?

A shriek draws me back to reality, and my butt smacks back down to the ground because John didn't even bother pulling out before leaping to his feet to face his wife.

Sherry is home early.

"You slut!" She screams at me as I finally sit up to take inventory, only to realize that I'm completely naked now. When did that happen? When did he bust my lip?

"Yes, because that's what happened right?" I drawl sarcastically. "I seduced him? Wanted this?"

"Get out of my house! Get the fuck out; I can't take it anymore!"

The familiar anger finally breaks past the numb as I leap to my feet.

"Finally! It's about damn time, too! _You_ can't take it? Your husband has been fucking me as 'punishment' since I got here two months ago!"

"Get out!" She screams at me so I scream right on back even louder.

"Good!"

I storm into my small room, shoving the few things I have into my school bag after emptying it of supplies. I drag on jeans without underwear and throw on an inside out long sleeve shirt as well as an overly large hoodie, but I'm out the door in under a minute, leaving the screaming match between husband and wife behind with relief.

I give a little scream once I make it out of the building, and slam my fists into the wall several times. They come away raw and bloody.

I hate everything!

With a sigh, I turn away from the brick building to find a pay phone to let my social worker know that I was kicked out. Again.


	2. Chapter 2

Crushing Gravity

Chapter 2

I've been moved to different states before, like Arizona, Colorado, California, or all the way up to Illinois and Wisconsin. But it's my first time going to Washington, and I've never even heard of the little town called Forks. I wonder if it's next to a small town called Spoons, or maybe Knives.

Why can't I go to Spoons? Great, now I'm actually wanting to go to a place called spoons. I wonder if they eat a lot of soup there?

"Samantha, did you take your pills?"

I pull my eyes from the airplane window to glare at my social worker. Julia knows full well that I don't like to be called by my full name, and she does it whenever she's upset with me for one thing or another.

I take a moment to consciously steady my fidgeting. "You know it don't like them; they make my mind all wonky."

She sighs and stands up to search through her carry-on.

My leg starts bouncing again as she hands me two small pills and a bottle of water.

"Is this why you've been so violent? You haven't been taking your medication for your ADHD?"

"I'm violent because of these shitty homes you keep putting me in!"

"If you took your medication and stopped acting out, maybe people more financially secure would take you in," she snaps right back and my jaw clenches.

 _She doesn't know Sammy,_ a familiar voice whispers in my head.

Yeah, well it wouldn't make much difference anyhow. They'd just move me somewhere else that it will happen again, and a known evil is better than an unknown one, right?

She sighs as I quickly take the medicine and then proceed to ignore her.

As the seatbelt light flashes on and the plane starts to descend, I feel the medication kick in. I feel sleepy and everything is happening slower.

It doesn't feel right. I hate those stupid pills.

Even after the plane lands, it still takes us an hour to actually leave the airport. We didn't have to go to baggage claim, but Julia did have to wait in a super long line to get keys to her rental, go through several billion security checks, and then wait in a line in the parking lot just to get out.

The sun is setting by the time we actually get on the road and the sound of rain mixed with the effects of my pills, lulls me to sleep.

"Sam, wake up; we're here," a voice shakes me out of my drug induced slumber.

I sit up with a groan as my bruised muscles protest leaving the position they were stuck in for a little over two hours.

"Gross," I mutter, wiping the puddle of drool from the seat with my sleeve, along with the bit sticking my hair to my cheek.

Glancing out the window, it's still raining and a lot darker out, but I can see a small house nestled snugly between a few scattered trees and other small homes.

I sling my bag over my shoulder as I follow Julia out of the car, and we make our way up to the front door.

It opens before she's able to knock.

"Hi, you must be the caseworker from the phone, I'm Amy Fuller," the adults shake hands with big smiles before she turns to me. "And you must be Samantha, it's really nice to meet you."

"It's Sam," I say, ignoring her offered hand. "And where am I crashing?"

Her smile drops just a little.

"Samantha," Julia hisses just as I hear the disappointed, _Sammy_ , _you shouldn't be so rude,_ sigh in my head.

I scowl and ignore both.

Mrs. Fuller smiles again anyhow and opens the door wider so we can come in.

"Brady," she calls as she shuts the door. "Come say hello!"

A tall and muscular boy comes around the corner with a smile, and I regard him wearily.

Not every foster family I've had has been bad, but all of them get fed up with me fairly quick. Half the time, it's honestly not my fault.

"Hey," he greets, extending his hand much like his mother did. "I'm Brady." Again, I don't take it. Not necessarily because I want to be rude, this time, but because hand shakes make me feel awkward. And I don't like to be touched.

"Sam," I nod in acknowledgment.

He shrugs and drops his hand.

"Brady, why don't you send Collin home and show Sam here where her room is?" Mrs. Fuller suggests in that kind of tone that you know it's not a suggestion.

"Sure, mom," he agrees easily, before shouting into the room he just came from. "Yo, Collin, mom's kicking you out!"

"Awe," a boy just as beefy, and looking very similar, appears around the corner. "Amy, you're kicking me out?" She gives him a glare. "I mean, er, Mrs. Fuller?"

She opens the door for him. "Go home Collin."

"Fine; see you tomorrow, Brady, new pretty girl."

I roll my eyes.

"See ya, man!" Brady calls. "So your room is this way..."

I follow him down a hall as he points out different doors.

"That's my room... the bathroom... Mom's room is on the other side of the house... And this is your room; I hope the color is okay. You can do whatever you want with it: put up posters, paint it, anything other than knock down the walls."

I take in the light grey walls and dresser next to the twin sized bed.

"So, do you want me to get the rest of your bags? Are they out in the car still?"

"Nope," I say, tossing my backpack onto the bed. "This is it."

"Really?" His eyes widen. "Just a backpack?"

"I don't stay in one place very long. Your mom seems nice, so I give this place four months, maybe five, before I'm kicked out." I shrug.

"What's the longest time you've been in one place?" He asks curiously, coming further into the room and flopping onto the bed with complete ease.

I twitch irritably and decide to go ahead and put my things away with him still here.

"When I was nine, someone kept me for a whole year," I sigh. It was one of the good homes, and I actually tried to be good for them, but she had a baby and he got a job offer in Europe. They couldn't keep me.

"What's the shortest time?" He leans back, crossing his arms behind his head.

"Five minutes," I snort. "We didn't even make it out of the parking lot before they were taking me back."

He whistles, seeming impressed.

With nothing else to unpack, I uneasily sit down at the end of the bed. He's a very big person, but there is enough room for me to sit crisscross and still have a foot of space between us.

It feels odd talking to someone like this, casually, but it seems fine enough for now.

Julia pops her head around the doorway and gives a knowing smile. It's creepy so I raise my eyebrow like 'what?'

"I'm heading out now," she tells me walking farther into my temporary room. She sets a little bottle of prescription pills on the dresser. "Take you damn meds, Samantha." She commands before turning away and exiting as swiftly as she came.

I roll my eyes.

"You sick?" Brady asks, and I suddenly feel annoyed with his presence so I scowl at him.

"Yeah. I'm sick of stupid questions so just leave me alone."

He raises both hands in mock surrender. "Damn, girl, sorry."

 _Sammy, that wasn't nice._

Shut up, Lyla!

Brady rises to his feet and makes to leave the room. As he's passing me, he touches my shoulder, just two fingers to get my attention, and I can see the 'good night' on the tip of his tongue, but I jerk away with a deadly glare.

"Never touch me!" I snarl. Anger, at myself, makes it sound just a little more threatening.

He mutters another 'damn girl,' before heading the rest of the way out.

"We are walking to school tomorrow so you need to be ready to leave by eight," he says just before closing the door.

I glare down at the cracking scabs on my knuckles before swinging off the bed and locking the door.

Then I turn off the light and climb back in bed, leaning against the wall with my knees tucked to my chest.

The tip of my thumb finds its way into my mouth, and I just sit there a while, listening, until my medication once again drags sleep over me.

* * *

 **A/N: Please leave a review!**

 **~Silver~**


	3. Chapter 3

Crushing Gravity

Chapter 3

A soft knock has me sitting up fast in bed, thumb wrenching from my mouth, and heart racing.

"Sam?" A voice calls through the door and I remember with relief that I locked it. "You should start getting ready for school, we have a half hour before we need to leave."

"Okay!" I call, swiping the drool off my cheek and hand as I climb out of the bed.

I quickly snag a pair of black jeans, black long sleeve T, and my large navy blue hoodie. I habitually peak my head out into the hall before I slip into the bathroom slightly down it.

I'm finished showering and changed within ten minutes

In the mirror, I can see my busted lip and a healing bruise yellowing my jaw. Emerald green eyes look back at me in a glare asking, 'why do you let this happen?'

 _You know you don't let it,_ the soft voice in my head answers.

"Shut up Lyla," I mutter back to her.

There is a knock on the door, and I swing it open before whoever on the other side can speak.

Brady blinks at me. "Hey, breakfast is on the table."

I nod and stride right past him in the direction of the kitchen. I'm starving.

Brady seems impressed as I wolf down six pancakes and a plate of bacon.

"Hey what happened to your hands?" He notices as I reach for the juice. Mrs. Fuller turns away from the sink to listen curiously, too.

"Got into a fight," I lie.

Brady smiles, Mrs. Fuller frowns.

"You two should head off to school," she says. "Brady, go get Sam her school things."

He crosses into the living room and comes back with a brand new book bag, already filled.

"I can carry it for you if you want?" He offers nicely.

And have to give something in return? No thanks.

"I got it!" I snap, ripping it from his arms and angrily pushing out the front door.

My anger only grows when I realize that I have to wait for him to show me the way to school. It would look really stupid of me to start walking the wrong direction.

He hurries out after and I follow three feet behind.

It doesn't seem to bug him that I'm not walking next to him; he just flips around and walks backward.

"You know, you're kind of mean," he comments casually, his feet easily finding the way in the path.

"Don't worry, I'll be out of your hair before long."

He frowns. "You don't like it hear?"

Here it is again, the casual conversation.

"Doesn't matter if I like it, people don't like me."

He grins. "Because your mean," he states. A snort escapes before I can stop it.

The walk to school is shorter than I realized, only fifteen minutes, and Brady is leaving me at the entrance, jogging over to his friend that was at the house yesterday.

Being touched, in school, is inevitable. There are so many people that bodies brush each other, feet trip you, and book bags smack you in the face when someone turns around.

So I shove people out of the way, sending a few to the ground or into lockers.

I find mine from the class schedule Brady told me was in the pouch on the side of my bag.

My first class is easily found and I make my way to the back of the room, ignoring all the curious stares.

I'm used to this, to being the new kid in the middle of the year. I've been to more schools than I can count and the teachings are all over the place. Either I've done it, or I skipped five chapters and am completely lost.

My leg bounces impatiently as I wait for the bell to ring.

Finally, class starts. The boy, Collin, smiles when he sees me and strides forward to sit at the empty desk next to me.

"So, Sam, right?"

I scoff and cross my arms to ignore him. He tries again.

"I'm Collin, Brady's friend."

I stare out the window. It's raining again, just a small drizzle that fogs the glass.

"So how do you like the reservation so far?"

The teacher finally starts to talk and Collin is forced to pay attention.

Lunch rolls around so very slowly, that it's painful. Really, my head is starting to hurt and I'm hungry again.

In the lunch line, I grab whatever I could get, pizza, some sort of soup, bowl of fruit, slice of cake, and start walking to an empty table I see by the doors.

From the corner of my eye, I see Brady and Collin eating lunch with a few girls and a bunch of guys bigger than they are.

Even the girl that is leaning over the table arguing is very tall, and lean muscles show on her exposed arms.

I roll my eyes, making sure not to look at them as I pass their table.

I don't want Collin or Brady inviting me over if I looked lost. I just want to sit alone and eat a nice lunch by myself-

The girl shoves away from the table angrily, right as I'm passing, and I suddenly find myself falling.

My bruised butt smacks the ground first, then my hands to break the fall, and then my entire lunch. Hot soup burns the front of my pants.

I blink, stunned, as chocolate frosting drips off my brow. How is it, that not a speck landed on the floor?

"Shit," the girl curses above me, drawing my attention, and growing anger, back to her.

The frustration in her face melts, eyes widening, the moment she sees my glare.

"What the hell?" I spit, jumping to my feet. Half my lunch clings to me as the other half finally hits the ground.

Why is she still staring at me like that?

I scowl, shaking my arms to fling more gunk to the floor, and she finally seems to shake out of her thoughts.

"Shit," she repeats, lunging forward to try and get stuff out of my hair.

"Don't touch me!" I snap, shoving her hands away.

"I'm sorry," she stammers, reaching to the table behind her and snatching up as many napkins as she can. "Here," she offers them to me.

"Fuck off!" I growl, shoving past her to get to the doors and find a bathroom.

It's only a few doors down and I spend all of lunch, the next period, and the period after that in front of a sink.

Still, I'm twenty minutes late to my last class with damp clothes and in an even fouler mood.

Of course, the teacher asks me to stay after class, and I really don't have the patience for that talk. Regardless, I take extra time to pack up my bag. By the time I'm dragging my feet to the front of the class, the last kid had left five minutes ago.

I pause at the desk and wait.

Mr. Bummer, or whatever his name is, stands up to close the door.

My back stiffens and I become more alert as he comes back to the desk and leans against it.

"Samantha, are you alright?"

I blink and tighten my hold on my bag. I roll my eyes and start toward the door.

"I don't have time for this,"

He reaches out to stop me. "Samantha, do not walk out of here." What is it with people always wanting to touch me?

I jerk away, but don't shout at him. He's a teacher.

So I reluctantly turn and fold my arms across my chest so he can't grab me again.

"What?" I demand.

"Why were you late today?" He asks patiently, like I'm a child throwing a tantrum.

"None of your damn business."

He sighs. "Samantha, do not curse in my classroom."

I roll my eyes and turn to leave again. "We are not done here."

"Well I am!" I reach for the knob of the door when it suddenly twists on its own. I snatch my hand back but I'm not quick enough to jump out of the way. " _Fuck!_ "

I hop up and down in a circle, clutching my head in pain. Who ever did that must be really angry right now.

I look up to glare at the door slammer, only to recognize her. It's the girl that dumped all my lunch on me.

Her eyes widen and I can see the 'sorry' on the tip of her tongue again.

"What the fuck?!" I ask, because, really, this can't be coincidence.

"Samantha!" My teacher shouts and I glare at him over my shoulder.

"Go to hell!" I shout at him before once again shoving past the girl way taller than me.

I'm only halfway down the hall when fast footsteps hurry to catch up.

"Hey, wait!" She slows to walk next to me. "I'm really sorry about the cafeteria and the door."

"Whatever."

"Are you okay? I hit you pretty hard..."

"I will be when you leave me the fuck alone."

Hurt flashes across her face, and she stops. I don't know why she would be hurt, I'm the one with the throbbing skull.

 _It was an accident, Sammy. She didn't mean to._

With a sigh, I stop and turn to face her.

"I'm Sam," I offer instead of apologizing.

She blinks, and then scowls. "Of course you are." I'm momentarily taken aback.

I raise an eyebrow in question.

"My ex boyfriend's name is Sam," she offers as explanation and starts walking again with me. "I'm Leah."

"Cool," I say, and nothing else. What else is there to say, nice to meet you? It wasn't; she dumped a lunch on me and then hit me with a door. Why again am I being somewhat nice to her, when I just really want to start a fight?

 _You shouldn't start a fight just because you're having a bad day, Sammy._

Right, that's why. My conscience.

"So you're living with Brady?" She asks, and then grimaces as if she realized she said something dumb.

"For now," I say and finally stop at my locker, throwing my entire bag in. I don't need it. "Bye," I say, because really, why were we still talking?

She waves and watches as I walk away. Freak.

I find the gym locker room I was in earlier that day, and change into the sweatpants and shirt they provide, leaving the hoodie off since no one is going to hang around after school except those with detention.

After a short stretch, I take off along the track focusing on getting faster, always faster, so that maybe _it_ won't ever happen again.

* * *

 **A/N: Yay, someone reviewed! :3 Thank you so much, and I'm so glad you like it. Please keep reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

Crushing Gravity

Chapter 4

Leah's POV

Before the sun even rises, I know that I'm going to have a bad day. It's just a feeling I get as I climb the stairs exhaustedly to get ready for school.

Sam had me on patrol all night, and I'm just getting in. A headache, which is pretty much impossible for a shifter, throbs in my temple.

As I struggle to pull my shirt over my head, I trip over something, maybe my book bag, and fall into the bed.

 _Screw it, I'm skipping,_ I think, and with the shirt still halfway off, I slip into a dead sleep.

I wake up only five hours later, still feeling somewhat exhausted but not so much as fall over and sleep, tired.

I finally slip the shirt the rest of the way off and see that it was, in fact, my book bag that I tripped over earlier.

 _I thought werewolves were supposed to be graceful_ , I scoff mentally. Again, I get the feeling it's going to be a bad day, and I'm never wrong with these feelings.

I debate going to school at all today, but mom would be mad, so I do.

It doesn't take any time at all to arrive and it looks like they're just being let out for lunch, which is great because I'm starving. I hadn't had anything to eat since before patrol.

As I reach the normal table, Paul looks up at me and grins this shit-eating smile full of menace.

"There's Wolfy-girl, Sam keep you out all night again so he can bang Emily?"

The table gives a collective sigh.

"Dude," Embry says.

"Common bro."

"Really?"

My shoulders start to quiver, cause I'm really not in the mood for this. I know they all hate me being part of the pack, they hate being in my mind; well guess what? They can deal with it because I have to be in the fucking mind of my ex boyfriend, and listen to his loving thoughts of my cousin.

And I can't even fucking blame him for it because he imprinted.

I slam my hands down hard on the table and lean in close as it quivers under my strength.

"Shut the fuck up Paul. You don't want to pick a fight with me right now because I am not in the mood," I growl.

"Sam wouldn't like that," he taunts.

Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam, I really hate Sam. I hate him so much I can feel it in my bones. But it still hurts so much to see him.

I start to reach blindly for his throat, but a hot hand holds me in place. It's Jared, who is next to his own imprint, Kim.

"Go run it off," he commands, looking seriously at me.

I snarl and shove away from the table, only to hit someone hard and make them fall. Food crashes on top of the girl, and I might feel bad if I weren't so pissed off.

"Shit," I curse, about to snarl at the innocent victim too, just for getting in my way, when she looks up at me with the most stunned expression, like she can't quite believe what happened.

And everything changes.

The anger, the resentment, it all vanishes the moment I look into those impossibly green eyes. I can hear a snip whispered in my ear, like the fates cutting my sting, and I suddenly have a cable tying my life to her. Everything that I thought meant something, is meaningless. All of it.

All that matters is her.

And then she glares so very harshly at me and I realize that we are in the cafeteria and I had just dumped what looks like her entire lunch on her.

"What the hell?!" She says climbing to her feet, and half of it falls to the ground with an audible splat.

"Shit," I say again, leaping at my imprint to help clean her off some. What a wonderful first impression this must be.

"Don't touch me!" She shouts, shoving my hands away. It didn't hurt any, but it still felt like a slap in the face.

"I'm sorry," I stammer, freaking stammer! What do I do?

 _Get her some napkins!_ My wolf snarls at me.

I reach quickly over to the table and snatch several from Seth, Paul, and Jacob. They all have stupid incredulous expressions on their faces but I don't have time to deal with them now.

"Here," I say, offering them to the girl who is still flicking what might be soup off her pants.

"Fuck off!" She shoves past me with a glare that has my wolf showing its belly and whimpering on the ground.

I helplessly watch my imprint, whose name I don't even know, walk out the doors, picking cake out of her long raven hair.

"I thought she would have been Paul's imprint," Brady finally snorts after a minute of my staring.

"She's mine!" I snarl, spinning so fast and sudden that the youngest members cower and Jared puffs up protectively in front of Kim.

Even though Paul didn't say anything, I glare so fiercely that Jacob, who is sitting next to him, starts to shift uncomfortably.

He starts to grin slowly, and I know that whatever he is going to say next is going to make me shift on the spot if I don't get out of there.

So I turn on my heel and dart toward the door to go for a run like Jared originally suggested.

She doesn't look like any of the Natives on the reservation, she's kind of pale, so she must be knew. Brady did mention something about getting a foster sister, right? What did he say her name was?

I run faster in frustration.

Why wasn't I paying more attention?!

By the time the last bell rings, I still haven't calmed down any, but I'm not angry at any of the pack.

I'm angry at myself. Why'd I have to knock her down? What was I so angry about in the first place? It's so stupid!

I barge into each of my classes to pick up missed work. By the time I make it to third period Science, I'm slamming doors.

There's a loud _thunk!_ as I throw it open, and a " _Fuck!_ "

I can't believe it. How is this happening? I'm frozen; I don't know what to do.

 _Apologize!_

I'm about to when she stops hopping around in pain to glare at me again.

"What the fuck?!" She's still clutching her head. What if I gave her a concussion?

Oh god, oh god, oh god.

"Go to hell!"

What? Oh, she was talking to Mr. Brunner.

I glance at his stunned face, remember why I was here in the first place, and turn around to race after the girl.

"Hey wait," I call, rushing to catch up. She was already halfway down the hall. "I'm sorry about the cafeteria and door..."

"Whatever," she scoffs, and I finally catch a look at her forehead.

Oh god, it's already bruising!

"Are you okay?" I ask anxiously. "I hit you pretty hard." I must have if it already looks like that.

I know I'm not acting like me. I would feel bad if I hit someone like that, but then I would apologize, roll my eyes for them not being fast enough to get out of the way, and then move on.

"I will be once you leave me the fuck alone." Ouch.

I stop walking. I messed up. I messed up bad.

Isn't the imprint supposed to work both ways? Isn't she supposed to like me too; or be drawn to me? She can't wait to get away from me!

She pauses, tilts her head back, sighs. Then she turns to face me.

"I'm Sam," she offers in a way that seems like an apology.

I start to smile before her words catch up in my brain. Because now I remember what I was so angry about at lunch.

The fates must be laughing at me, and before I can help it, I scowl.

"Of course you are." Really, what are the chances?

Then again, what are the chances that I knock over my imprint and spill lunch on her, and slam a door into her head the only two times we meet?

She raises an eyebrow, and her eyes are so much prettier when she's not glaring at me.

Fuck it, I love her name, I love her eyes, I love the little dusting of freckles on her nose, I love her long hair, I love her... Love her...? Her...?

I just start to realize something very important and it makes me feel so very stupid. I imprinted on a girl. I think she is incredibly pretty. Since when am I gay?

She still has that brow raised in a silent question and, fuck it, I don't care.

"My ex boyfriend's name is Sam," I offer as explanation and start walking again to catch up. She clearly doesn't mean for me to leave her alone anymore. "I'm Leah," I smile at her.

She looks back in front of her unaffected.

"Cool," is all she says.

I search for something to talk about. "So you're living with Brady?" I grimace, realizing that it might be a sensitive topic. What is she still misses the last foster home she was in? What if that's why she seems so angry even when her face is blank?

I really need to cool it; I'm not acting like myself at all.

"For now," is all she says, and I blink.

For now? Does that mean she's just here temporarily? But I just got her; she can't leave. We're supposed to be together. She's supposed to love me too... Right?

"Bye," she says.

Bye? She's leaving already? Right now?

But then I realize she just shoved her backpack into her locker and she's walking off.

Oh...

Man I'm an idiot.

* * *

 **Hehehe. Reviews make me so happy! :3**

 **~Silver~**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I come to a stop, wheezing and unable to push myself another step. My legs burn horribly, shaking with every tread, and each short breath sends knives to my racing heart.

Sweat weighs on me like a blanket, and all I want is a cold shower, so I force my cramping legs back into a walk on the track to get back to school.

I see a muscular body by the doors, just leaning on the wall watching me. It's actually kind of creepy.

Caution spiders up my spine, of my exhausted state. Regardless, I continue forward, and then relax only slightly when I see that it's Brady.

"You're pretty fast," he comments, eyes dipping to the yellowing/blue handprint circling my upper arm.

I clear my throat drawing his eyes back to mine. He smiles.

"I'm supposed to walk you home. Are you done here?"

I nod and start heading to the locker room. "I'll be out in a few."

The showers are kind of crappy so I take a quick one, just rinsing off the sticky sweat and mud.

Once dressed, I walk back out the door and Brady smiles. We start to walk in the direction of the house.

My legs still ache with every step.

"So you met Leah today," he comments casually. "What'd you think of her?"

"She's clumsy and annoying," I automatically say, "and if she knocks me over one more time, I'll punch her in the face."

His grin only grows.

"You're just like Paul," he chuckles.

"I'll punch him in the face too."

Now he full out laughs, so much so that he stumbles.

I smile a little too, not because I think what I said was funny, but because he looks stupid and is still laughing.

He finally calms enough to walk straight.

"She's really not that bad. She's just been having a bad time lately." He smiles at me. "I think things are going to be getting a lot better though."

"As long as she stays away from me, good for her. I've already had too many concussions; she doesn't need to give me any more."

He suddenly becomes very serious.

"She would never hurt you on purpose. That's the last thing that she would want."

I shrug. "Well when has want ever gotten anyone anything? I want to eat, but my food got dumped on me. I want to be a normal kid, but I've never been in one place long enough to finish a school year. I want my mom, someone shot her in the head." As I talk, I get angrier and angrier, so I clamp my teeth shut from continuing on. I could go for a long time. "The point is, you wanting something, won't stop something else from happening that keeps you from getting it."

Brady is quiet the rest of the walk to the house. Maybe I scared him, or maybe I gave him something to think about. Regardless, I'm just as happy with the silence.

We arrive at the house, but he stops me before I can disappear into my room and lock the door.

"Someone is picking us up in the morning so you can sleep in some."

"Okay," I say, and then shut and lock the door, only to sit up from my bed a few minutes latter when there is a knock.

"Here," Brady says awkwardly when I open the door, and shoves a large plate with two sandwiches and a lot of chips into my hands. "You said you were hungry."

I blink in disbelief at his retreating back. Why would he do this; does he want something from me?

Suspicious now, I lock my door behind me as I take the food into my room to eat. It would be a waste to just throw it out, and I really am hungry.

...

Fear and I have a strange relationship in the sense that it doesn't exist with me. Or, I pretend it doesn't exist.

Fear, being scared, I hate it more than anything. It's a weakness. Being scared of something is pointless and just makes you a baby.

So I pretend I don't have it.

If I find something that makes me scared, I do it anyway just to prove to anything out there, and pretend to myself, that it doesn't scare me.

If that alley looks scary to walk down, I will do it slowly and with deliberately relaxed muscles.

If jumping out of a second story window to the ground below is a little frightening, I'll throw myself out of it before I can hesitate.

The thing I spend the most time proving that I'm not scared of is the dark. Ever since I was little, it terrified me.

So I would flip off the light and purposefully walk to the very edge of the bed (because I'm not scared that a hand will reach out and grab my leg from underneath) and climb onto it.

I don't run and jump onto it from several feet away, I don't hurriedly flip on a flashlight; that's what babies do.

 _They also suck their thumbs_ , I think critically and hurriedly yank it out of my mouth.

 _It's okay to be scared sometimes_ , Lyla whispers to me.

"I'm not scared," I answer out loud, defensively.

 _Okay. You're not scared. But you don't have to be strong when you're alone. You're eventually going to have a mental break if you hold it in all the time._

"I'm already having a mental break; I'm talking to you aren't I?"

She doesn't say anything and I groan. Great, the voice in my head is ignoring me.

Wait. Isn't that a good thing?

I climb out of bed, all my hair standing on end as I place my foot close to the black abyss under the it, forcing myself to remain there for a long time in challenge of the monsters that might be hiding beneath.

I'm _not_ scared.

Then I go to the window and throw it open to get some air. Mist hits my face and I close my eyes against it, enjoying the chill.

This little reservation in Forks isn't so bad. So far, the family is nice and school is relatively easy to understand; I've already had these lessons. People are mostly leaving me alone, and that's good, but it's only been a day.

Everyone in Foster Care knows that it's the second day that is the hardest.

The shock of a new kid is over so people are more inclined to come over. Tomorrow will determine if I hate this school and how hard I try to stay for a period of time.

Something, a sound or shift in the air, makes me open my eyes and look out at the yard facing the forest.

A large figure shadowed by night is sneaking towards them and disappearing into its dark.

So Brady is sneaking out... Whatever.

I turn away, leaving the window open, and climb back into the bed, tucking my feet safely under the blankets.

My thumb finds its way back between my teeth, but I don't care as my skipping mind drops off to sleep.

...

Brady, at breakfast in the morning, can hardly keep his eyes open. He only makes it through two bowls before he nods off, crashing his face into the cereal.

His head immediately springs up, dripping milk.

"How late did you stay out last night?" I ask casually, taking in his rumpled state. He looks so tired that he could have never went to bed.

"All night," he confirms before his eyes widen and head snaps to me.

"Sucks to be you," I snort.

His panic suddenly turns to suspicion.

"You're not gonna tell mom? You're not even gonna ask what I was doing?"

I shrug, taking his bowl and finishing it's uneaten contents.

"I don't tend to ask questions I don't care to know the answer to. Sides, it's none of my business."

A honk suddenly sounds from outside so he snatches the dishes up to put them in the sink as I grab my bag. It's odd that he holds the door open for me, and then closes it.

The car waiting looks new and black. Again, Brady holds the passenger door for me and I'm suddenly uncomfortable.

"I'll get in the back," I mumble, going around to get in from the other side.

There's a large dude, bigger than Brady, behind the wheel.

"This is Jacob," Brady introduces from the front as 'Jacob' starts to drive. "That's Sam."

The older kid's eyes go to the bruise I got the other day, and he grins before meeting my eyes.

"It's going to get confusing have two Sams around. Can we just call you Sammy or something?"

"If you call me that, I'll cut off your balls and shove them so far up your ass that you won't be able to poop, and then your intestines will swell up, causing you unbearable pain, and you'll die of a bowl infection. Tell me, Jacob, do you want to die of a bowl infection?" I say completely serious.

Jacob doesn't seem the least bit intimidated, and why would he? I'm a pebble compared to him.

Instead, he throws his head back and laughs. I hate being laughed at more than I do being afraid.

"Oh she's perfect," he tells Brady, sharing a knowing smile.

"I know. Gonna be a handful though."

I roll my eyes, leaning back in the seat.

* * *

 **A/N: Okay, so I probably should clarify, or at least mention, that this is after _Breaking Dawn_. Thanks so much for the reviews, they make me so, so happy. Please let me know what you think of this chapter too.**

 **~Silver~**


	6. Chapter 6

Crushing Gravity

Chapter 6

"Sam," a somewhat familiar voice says beside me, and I turn. It's Leah, smiling uncertainly.

"What?" I ask, pulling my book bag out of the locker.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to sit with us at lunch today? I can introduce you to everyone."

I look into her hopeful eyes and strangely can't find it in me to be suspicious. Her eyes flick up to my bruise, all blue and purple.

"You know you don't owe me, right? I get that it was an accident."

"Oh, no," her eyes widen. "I _want_ you to sit with us. I want to get to know you."

I shut my locker. "Then no thanks."

She frowns when I start to walk away.

"Hey, wait-" he hand is hot, I can feel it through my hoodie, and I feel suddenly sick.

"Never touch me!" I snarl whirling on her and vaguely register her widening eyes, shocked.

Why is she so surprised when I already yelled at her just yesterday for this?

All friendliness is gone again as I glare at her, then I shove my way through the students, all of them touching, touching, _touching_ me.

Being touched is _not_ a fear. It's just very uncomfortable for me, and I'm not so desperately denying everything that I don't know that it's from my past. And I'm not a masochist, so I don't go searching out things that make me uncomfortable. Like people touching me.

Collin greets me as I take my seat, and I'm in a foul mood again so I ignore him. Again.

It still doesn't stop him from inviting me to have lunch with his group.

What is with everybody?

Like I had predicted, a lot more people come up to me today. I'm softer with the shy or sincere ones, gentle, but the ones that I can tell are asses, or bullies, I hold no tolerance for.

Over all, the first half of the day isn't so bad. It's at lunch that my real irritation starts.

"Hey," a cocky voice draws my attention away from my first bite of pizza. I had actually made it to an empty table just fine, but now I'm staring up at a hulking mass of muscle that immediately sets me on edge and my fists clenching.

He's as big as the other boys I've met so far and I recognize him as the one Leah was arguing with before she knocked me down.

"Hello," I say cautiously, scooting away. He's standing way to close and his shadow is literally cast over me. His smile isn't kind or sincere; it's full of malicious amusement and meanness.

"I'm Paul."

"Bye, Paul," I say in dismissal, wanting him to just leave me be.

He doesn't. He steps closer.

"So, since you're new and everything, I figured I could show you around the res, see all the local sights and hangouts."

"No," I say bluntly, no pretenses of niceties. I don't like him and I don't have patience for people I dislike.

A new voice enters the conversation, much sweeter but with just as much of a growl.

"Paul, back off." Leah is behind my chair now, fists clenched and shaking slightly.

He flashes her a smile before reaching out and touching my cheek with those hot meaty hands.

"Look, I think you're really-" _wham!_

Leah's jaw drops and Paul looks stunned, cradling his cheek a little.

Fuck! I mentally scream, ignoring Lyla's reprimanding voice.

That really hurt, it felt like I was punching a wall again! The scabs on my knuckles are completely ripped off, so I pull my hand back again to throw another punch at him, but he is shaken out of his shock.

He catches my first and it's tight, trembling slightly. My adrenaline spikes and I bring my knee up hard in his soft spot. Like I expected, he lets go.

Leah hurriedly gets between us and shoves him backward some more, farther away, which is just fine with me.

More giants surround us, and I feel trapped, until one of the boys wraps his arm over Paul's shoulders and speaks quietly in his ear.

Paul's shaking turns to just a quiver and everybody relaxes, causing me to relax as well for an unknown reason.

"So are we sitting here today?" A boy that looks about Brady and Collin's, so therefore, my, age asks too happily for the present mood.

"Yup," Jacob smiles and plops into the seat beside me.

Leah glares at him before she walks around the table and sits across from me. Thankfully, the wall is on my other side so I'm not completely surrounded.

The others flood the table, including my Foster-brother and his annoying friend. Well, the one our age; they're all annoying.

I sigh, recognizing a situation I'm not getting out of.

Leah starts the introductions. "You know Brady and Collin, and that's Seth, my little brother," she points to the happy boy now scarfing down half the cafeteria. "He's a sophomore. This is Jake, Quill, and Embry, they're juniors this year along with Kim, and Jared is her boyfriend." She points to the boy who calmed Paul down. "Him, Paul," she scowls at the name, "and I are seniors this year."

I nod to her introduction, feeling more awkward than ever. What am I supposed to do now? What am I supposed to say? It's not good to meet them; they invaded my table without asking. I don't want them here, but I know that's not the right thing to say.

So I don't say anything at all. I just bounce my leg, fidget, and eat my lunch.

When I'm uncomfortable, it gets even harder for me to sit still, so I throw the rest of my food away and head to the gym early to maybe run until the bell.

I can feel the sad eyes on my back as I walk away, and I turn to catch Leah's gaze.

She smiles a little, and lifts her hand in a farewell. I turn back around without acknowledging her.

After school and my run, Brady walks me home again, but this time, Collin is tagging along.

"So," Brady says, walking backwards the way that he does. "Later tonight we are having a bonfire of sorts of the beach. You want to come? I know Leah was planning on asking you, but she couldn't find you after you ran off during lunch."

It seems odd that he mentioned Leah, there was no purpose to that information, but I shrug it off.

"No thanks," I say, and it surprises me that it comes out a little polite. My subconscious must like him at least a little. Which is fine as long as I don't get attached.

Collin follows us all the way into the house. Apparently he's visiting today.

It doesn't matter any to me as I lock myself in my room, muffling their rowdy voices.

...

The first time I ever got in a fight, I was six, and the kid I was fighting was ten.

I don't remember much of it, but I do remember the kid, a boy, shoving my friend down the slide. I don't remember what her name was, or even the color of her eyes, but I know she had blond hair, and I know that she cried when she hit the ground, and I remember shoving him onto his butt.

The boy had leapt to his feet faster than I thought possible and shoved me back. But I didn't fall in my butt; I fell through one of the openings on the jungle gym, hit my head on the spiral ladder, and landed on my side.

I remember the boy's eyes, a light brown, widening as I fell, and the fear I felt, and then crying harder than I ever have before.

The boy was suspended and I got seven stitches on my forehead.

I remember my sister holding my hand as the doctor stood above me, eighteen years old and holding three jobs just to support us. She dropped out of college when mom was killed, just so she could take care of me.

Mom's death was still so recent and I remember her holding me as I cried in that doctor's office getting stitches, and listening to my side of the story.

Her words are what I remember so clearly.

She took me by the shoulders, our matching green eyes locked, and she said, "Sammy, it's okay. You did good kiddo. Never stop doing good."

And I had smiled so big, forgetting all about my hurting head and said, "I won't, Lyla, I promise!"

...

I stand up from the ground, glaring so hard that the kid in front of me takes a half step back before he can stop himself.

"Go," I snap to the younger boy against the lockers, and he hurriedly gathers his fallen books and disappears into the gathering crowd.

The older boy doesn't pay any attention to him anymore and shoves me to the ground again.

I really hate being touched.

I shoot to my feet again; my fist flying out and connecting with his jaw and making him stagger.

Then he's coming at me, inexperienced, and fists flying randomly. Which is just fine since quite a few of them hit, but I'm returning it just as well until I knee him in the soft spot and he falls, groaning, to a heap on the floor.

"Samantha! Jeremy! What on earth is going on here?!" Mr. Bummer decides to show up, red faced and flabbergasted.

I wipe some blood from my lip, still glaring but feeling so much better in the two weeks I've been here. A deserved fight is just what I needed.

"He started it," I answer truthfully.

The boy, Jeremy, groans still cradling his man parts.

* * *

 **A/N: Please review!**

 **~Silver~**


	7. Chapter 7

Crushing Gravity

Chapter 7

What kind of punishment is this? I think, glowering at the ground.

Why can't I just be grounded like everyone else? Granted, I already come straight home from school and lock myself in my room. So maybe I can see why Mrs. Fuller would think this to be a suitable punishment; it's the exact opposite of what I would want to do.

Which is the point, right? To make me miserable?

A cry of victory makes me glance up. The boy, Embry, was finally able to get the flames started on the bonfire. There is now a small flicker of an orange glow.

I dig another rock deeper into the sand with my toe before burying it.

"Hey," a soft voice calls and I look up to see Leah. Her expression looks strange, dancing over my bruises and bloody knuckles. "Get into fights often?"

I would think that that line was just a conversation starter if she weren't looking so serious.

"Often enough," I reply. "It's been a while."

She sits down and reaches out to my face, but she hesitates, suddenly looking doubtful and pained.

"You could have gotten seriously hurt."

"I'm always getting hurt," I scowl at her until her hands drop back to her lap. I soften. She's really not bad, I'm just not used to the concern from people around my own age. "Do they actually do anything fun out here, or is this it?" I ask critically, looking around at the lingering large people.

There are only a few that I don't recognize. A little girl that's maybe three or four years old is being entertained by Quil, who looks just as enthralled as his companion with building a sand castle.

An impossibly beautiful girl who could be ten is hanging from the neck of Jacob, and a couple is huddled, smiling, by the fire. I stare for a moment at the woman's scars. They're wicked looking, and cool.

"This is it," Leah says, surprisingly sour.

"If you don't like it," I question, "then why do you come?"

She hesitates, looking uncertain again. "I heard you were going to be here."

I'm suddenly uncomfortable sitting next to her. The gradual relaxing of my muscles, that I hadn't even noticed, tenses.

What she said was sweet, incredibly sweet, and it was sincere.

I don't know how to react to that, what to say, what to do with my hands, what facial expression I'm supposed to adopt.

I've had more interaction since I've been in this little town than I've had since being put in the system. Everything that is happening just seems so odd.

What would a normal person do? Probably hug her and become best friends, or am I leaping to conclusions? I don't want to hug her, and I don't want her as a friend.

She is very nice and I could come to care for her, I guess, but with my life that would be a bad thing.

It would figure that as soon as I accept her as a friend, as soon as I would miss her if I were gone, I'd be sent away. That's how it works, right?

"You want to walk along the beach with me?" Leah asks, drawing my eyes away from the fire that I hadn't meant to mindlessly start staring into.

Yes, I've been sitting too long; anxiety is starting in my chest and expressing itself in my muscles.

So I stand from the log and leave the strange colored dancing flames.

We walk next to each other, not touching any, and the silence is actually okay.

"Why did you start that fight?" She startles the calm, once again running her eyes over the bruises visible.

"He was pushing a kid around. I don't like people who use their strength or weight to get what they want, or pick on people just because they think they can."

"That's pretty much any man you'll ever meet."

"I hate men," I answer. "Some are alright, boys are alright, but all men are the same. They take what they want."

She stops suddenly and I'm forced to stop too or walk without her.

"Have you been hurt by a man?" She asks, looking suddenly panicked and angry, and the look doesn't seem right on her.

"I've been hurt by many people, seen many people hurt. Remember, I'm in the foster system and a lot of kids are messed up, been messed up, so bad."

I start walking again and she follows slowly, deep in thought. We walk for a long time, but I don't interrupt. I don't really feel like talking because there is suddenly a churning in my stomach.

"What's your favorite color?" She asks, and the change of topic surprises me.

"Look, Leah," I sigh. "I'm not looking for friends, okay? So, let's not do this- this- friendship-bonding-thing, or whatever it is that's happening. Can you tell the guys to just back off me?"

Leah opens her mouth, looking lost, and closes it, so I turn and jog back up to the blue fire. I have to be here; that doesn't mean I have to socialize.

My punishment ends at about eleven o'clock and Brady walks us back to the house.

I can't sleep. It's not uncommon for me to have trouble sleeping, or to have trouble sitting still long enough to fall asleep. I just can't sleep.

I can't sit still. Anxiety makes my ear fall to my shoulder and a sudder run down my spine.

I'm tempted to pop a few pills just so I can be tired enough to pass out. But I can't find it in me to get up and search for wherever I threw the bottle.

I flip over for the hundredth time in two minutes, tug the converse up, then toss them off.

Finally I stand and throw open the window. It's raining. I'm not even surprised.

This overwhelming urge to just _get out_ hits me, and a leg is thrown over the windowsill before I can even stop to think.

The tops of my shoulders are soaked through in minutes as I stand in the flowerbed just under my window.

My bare feet are muddy, and this is so, so, stupid. There's no point to this at all.

 _Go back to your room, Sammy. Be good and try to get some sleep._

Yeah. Lyla's right; I really should just-

My feet carry me towards the forest.

It looks so scary and sinister. I could just imagine all the beasts and monsters hiding in the shadows.

Limbs bow low to the ground, dripping water and looking shiney even in the little light.

I'm not scared. I can prove it. I _am_ proving it. I'm not scared at all.

The forest seems to swallow me. It shields me some from the rain, but fatter drops hit me as I walk under a certain branch.

My thumb slides between my lips, and I suck it anxiously.

I'm not scared; I'm not scared. It's just the stupid dark and stupid trees and stupid giant wolf.

I freeze.

Every part in my body suddenly locks as my skipping brain realizes what it's looking at.

A wolf, bigger than a horse, stares back at me with large brown eyes. It's a beautiful wolf, all silvery grey and slim, but it's so very terrifying.

 _Sammy, go back. Run._

"I'm not scared, I'm not scared," I mumble to Lyla.

And suddenly, I'm not.

The wolf's ears flatten and she lowers her head low, looking up at me from several yard away with big pleading puppy eyes.

Something strange comes over me, a pull, a need to get closer like I needed to go through my window.

I stop sucking my thumb like a baby, and reach out for it.

"Hey girl," I whisper, creeping closer.

The wolf slinks forward on her belly, and I can tell that it's a girl now, until she is near enough for me to touch.

Her fur is damp, but incredibly soft. She pushes her head up into my hand, closing her eyes and giving a rumble that resembles something to a purr.

I smile and rub her with two hands.

The forest itself suddenly isn't so scary. I'm really _not_ scared. I feel strangely safe.

"Good, girl," I whisper. "Where's your pack? Do you have a pack?"

I sit down on a fallen log, not caring in the slightest that it's wet. My pajamas are already soaked through.

It's cold, it's really cold, but the wolf is so warm. It's incredibly stupid to throw my arms around a wild wolf and hug it. It's incredibly stupid to be out at night, in the rain, in the forest, with a wild animal.

But I can't sleep, and she's warm.

"It's okay if you don't. You don't need anyone. I don't have a pack either. I can't have one, I'll just end up leaving them."

The wolf whines and sits on her hunches.

"I didn't know wolves could get so big. I saw one at the zoo once- that was a nice foster family- and he was just as big as a normal dog. Maybe it was a normal dog and people are just so scared on the actual wolf, that they pretend the dog is a wolf," I giggle. "They lie to society so they don't look like wusses."

I sit there, talking about random things to the wolf, until the sky lightens and it stops raining. I'd have to leave for school soon, but I have enough time so I continue petting the wolf. I had fallen silent a while ago after my last pacing and restless fit.

I finally figure that it's time to go, so I stand.

"By, Wolfe, I hope I see you again," I run my hand over her ears one final time before heading back to the house.

I had walked farther than I thought I had. So much farther, but before I could start to panic, I do spot the house through the trees and I quicken my steps.

The forest had gotten scary again.

The time was later than I thought it was. Brady had already left for school and Mrs. Fuller for work. Who knows where Mr. Fuller is; I haven't actually met him or heard anything about him before.

Maybe he left, or is dead, or is rotting in jail.

Regardless, I'm late to school.

* * *

 **A/N: You guys, I love you. You're reviews just make me so giddy, and it's interesting to see the slight differences in the way people see my writing to the way I see it. Please keep sending me you're thoughts and I will continue to try to send somewhat quick updates.**

 **This is the most I've been excited to be writing a story in a long time.**

 **~Silver~**


	8. Chapter 8

Crushing Gravity

Chapter 8

I take it back; I take it all back. Leah is not a nice girl.

"Just leave me alone!" I scream when I come out of third period to see her standing there already.

She smirks at me, such a very different expression then I had come to know. I don't know how she could have fooled me; I'm usually an expert on reading sincerity.

She's so annoying. She won't leave me alone. I don't know what happened, or changed, but she's no longer looking helpless and uncertain.

She's determined and sure.

It's infuriating and I honestly don't know why I haven't punched her yet. I want to. I really want to.

My fists clench. She's not even saying anything. She's just following me.

"What's your favorite color?" She asks.

I whirl and shove her. "Back off!" I scream, drawing several eyes. I shove her again and she takes a half step back. It's like pushing a wall. "Just back the fuck off! Leave me alone!" I shove again and she takes a full step back. I go to shove again, because she's still so close that it feels like I'm suffocating, and she grabs my wrists to stop me.

My eyes widen.

"Don't touch me!" I snatch my hands back quick.

Her own eyes go wide and jaw tightens.

Anger.

Finally- an emotion that I can understand.

"Don't touch you?" Her voice is quiet, dangerous, and I suddenly regret angering her.

I don't know this anger. I know screaming and flying fists and I know that when it stops, it's over. This is controlled. This is restrained. This can build into something even more dangerous.

I'm not scared, I'm not scared, I'm not scared.

 _Sammy..._

I know; I messed up.

"So you can shove me, try to hurt me, but I can't grab your wrists to stop you? That's awfully hypocritical of you."

Hurt her? That's not- I didn't want- it was never my intention to hurt her; I just wanted her to back up, to leave me alone.

Did I hurt her? She just seems so strong...

Her face softens and anger fades, but I know that it's there now, just simmering and waiting to explode at me. She takes a step closer to me, and before I can stop myself, I shove her again.

"Leave me _alone_!" I turn before she can attack me, and shove past the small gathering of students.

The exchange was so quick, the anger flaring and disappearing, the words, and walking away.

I can't stand this town.

I punch a locker as I walk past, splitting my knuckles again. They're never going to get the chance to heal.

I don't go to the lunchroom; whatever table I sit at would just flood with oversized boys. My skin is crawling, itching, I need to move, need to run.

I go to the gym to change out, taking off on the outdoor track. Mud splatters my pants.

Even though I don't necessarily need to cover up anymore, I still like the extra layer between the outside world and myself. If I don't, it feels like there is a pressure poking me between my shoulder blades, like a feeling that someone is watching my every move from the shadows.

I jog back toward the gym as the bell rings for class.

...

I can't sleep again. I had a nap in math and history, and now I can't sleep. I can't even sit still.

That weird pull is in my chest again so I slip silently out the window like I did the night before. The forest makes me nervous again.

It's not raining this time, but everything is still damp, making squelching sounds under my feet.

I'm not surprised when Wolfe shows up this time, silent and shadowed. Her silver coat glints with the flash of the moon. My unsteady breath catches at the beauty of the image.

Everything suddenly seems surreal. Like it's just a memory of a movie or dream of a book. Wolves don't get to be that large, and they don't meet in the forest with broken teenage girls.

No, not broken- I'm not broken.

There is no hesitance as the wolf glides over the spongy ground to meet me, and I have to reach up to rub her head.

I sit down in the grass and lean into her large leg. She's so very warm.

...

Spiders are creepy little things. Sometimes creepy big things. This one is both with long legs at least two inches, and just a teeny tiny body.

I feel bad for the thing, twitching everywhere with a bunch of broken legs, trying to inch away. Trying to get anywhere than where it is right then.

I know it won't make it. Some bird or other animal will swoop down to eat it. It'll be gone just like that, just that quick.

"Why won't you be my friend?"

I look up from the ground and the twitching creature, and meet big brown, and somewhat familiar, eyes.

"What?" I ask, even though I actually heard the question. If I had just waited for the words to process in my brain, I would have been able to answer. Instead, I ask, "what?" because that's just what comes out of my mouth. Because it's a surprise to see her here, standing over me outside the school during lunch period.

"Why won't you be my friend?" Leah asks again, crossing her arms over her chest and slumping against the wall to sit beside me.

"Why do you even _want_ to be my friend?" I shoot back, because I really don't understand.

Ever since she dumped my own lunch on me, she's been really nice; but she already told me that that's not the reason.

"Look, I just... I feel drawn to you. I want to know you."

"Why?"

She opens her mouth, struggles, and sighs in frustration.

"I can't tell you that."

I study her face, the crease in her brow, the slight press of her lips, a muscle twitching in her jaw as she glares down at her fisted hands. Her hair is short, brushing against her cheek, but it doesn't look bad like it might on some girls.

She's actually really pretty. I don't usually notice something like that on a person. It's usually just things like, male, female, angry, not angry.

I try to figure out if she isn't telling me the reason for her so called 'draw' towards me, or if she just doesn't know. I get that sometimes. A feeling to do something I have no reason for.

She sighs, tilting her head back against the brick building, and stands up.

I hesitate before surging forward to grab her hand to stop her. She looks back at me.

"White," I say.

She looks confused. I would too. "What?"

I take a deep breath, knowing I'm going to regret this in a few short weeks. "My favorite color is white."

The confusion slowly disappears, and then her face brightens, her smile quick and blinding. I blink, slightly stunned.

Then I let go of her hand and slowly sit back against the wall. Huh.

She sits back down next to me, all of her attention directed at me.

"Why is your favorite color white?"

I shrug, feeling my cheeks warm. I haven't blushed in the longest time.

"It seems so pure. Untainted. It has a the potential to become anything it wants." I clear my throat. "What's yours?"

She just stares for another moment.

"Um, green. What's your favorite animal?"

"Wolf," I find myself saying immediately. It used to be a bird because they could just fly away from a place and never come back.

Leah grins, and I have to blink again.

"Mine too. What is-"

"Did you know that wolves are really big?" I blurt before I could forget to mention it. Things like that happen; thoughts just disappear, I forget what I'm supposed to be doing, I forget that someone is talking to me.

"Really?" Leah asks in interest.

"Yeah, there's this conspiracy to hide it from the public because the zoo people don't want to admit that they're scared of them, so they just use regular dogs in zoos."

"Wow," she says, not knowing what else to say.

My eyes catch sight of the spider again. He had made it about a foot away, legs still twitching and twisted at awkward angles. He was probably stepped on.

Such small things, spiders, compared to us. We don't ever watch where we tread, always killing things and making them suffer. Humans are such awful creatures.

A bird swoops down as I watch, hops two steps, and then picks up the spider in its beak. It's seven legs twitch, once, twice, the bird flies away.

"Are you ignoring me now?" An exasperated voice asks, snapping me out of my observations.

"What?" I gasp in surprise, and twist to look at Leah. I forgot she was there. My cheeks burn painfully. "Sorry," I mumble, twisting my fingers together in my lap.

I suddenly need to be moving, to get up and go, but I'm afraid that if I do that, she'll be offended again.

She doesn't sound upset any, just curious. "Where did you go?"

"Go?" I asked confused. "I'm right here."

She smiles. I blink. "Your mind. Where did your mind go?"

"I was just watching the spider," I answer honestly.

"It's like you didn't even hear me."

"I'm sorry," I repeat. "I don't...know how to act. I haven't had a friend since I first started in the foster system. I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

She tilts her head and studies me for a while, and my cheeks get even hotter.

"I suppose you're not supposed to _do_ anything. Just be yourself I guess."

"If I were being me, I would be pushing you away as hard and fast as I could. I don't make friends with people I'm just going to leave behind in a few weeks, " I scowl, and she doesn't look so pretty anymore. She looks like something dangerous, something that could hurt me deeper than any previous foster father. Well, maybe not that deep.

"You keep saying that you'll be leaving," she says slowly. "Why would you leave; do you not like it here?"

"Oh, I like it here just fine. This place is heaven compared to most homes I've been placed, but it never lasts. People generally don't...like me."

"I like you," she tells me.

The words are so simple. Just three words said in a matter of fact way. I don't know what to do with the words, what to say to them, if I'm even supposed to acknowledge them.

I choose not to and leap to my feet in order to pace. She continues to watch me from the ground.

"I'm not...right...in my head. I have a disorder that makes it hard for me to connect with people, even if I wanted to. I can't sit still; I can't focus on one thing; sometimes I forget someone is talking to me. Either I can't start on something or I get so locked in on a particular task and I can't do anything else. I have outbursts with no control over my emotions that usually heavily features anger and sometimes I go into a depression that I just can't snap out of."

She's silent. "You have ADHD." She says like its fact, and I'm surprised. Not many people actually know all the symptoms. They just assume that ADHD means you're hyper all the time.

It's more serious than that.

"Yeah," I say quietly.

"Hey, listen," she catches my hand, and I try to rip it away, but she holds it tightly in her warm grip. She won't let go so I just stop struggling. "Listen, it's okay."

"It's okay?" I ask doubtfully.

She stands, still not letting go of my hand. "Yeah, it's okay."

"Alright," I say, and finally, slowly, shake her grip.

It actually wasn't so bad.

* * *

 **A/N: Finally, am I right? Still, they have a lot of hardships to go...**

 **Let me know what you think; is this a good pace? Are things moving too fast, too slow?**

 **~Silver~**


	9. Chapter 9

Crushing Gravity

Chapter 9

"What's six times eight?" I ask the silence. It stretches out for several moments, and then there is a shift in blanket and a head pops over the side of my bed.

Leah blinks down at me from my spot on the floor, and gives me a slow teasing smile.

"Shouldn't you know this by now?"

"If I was going to be embarrassed by not knowing, I wouldn't have asked," I deadpan. "Are you going to tell me the answer, or am I going to have to work it out the long way?"

She chuckles, not offended in the least, and rolls back onto her stomach on my bed.

"Forty-eight," her answer drifts down to me and I hastily apply it to the rest of my math problem.

Normally, I wouldn't bother with any of my homework, I would just be moving to a new school soon anyway, but Leah has been getting on my case about not even trying it, so I've been attempting it for the past few weeks.

It was strange allowing Leah into my room the first time, and watching her flop onto my bed. There was no room for me to lie without any part of us touching, so I had taken to sitting on the floor.

I didn't really want to start my homework, it took me just an hour of staring at my bag before I sighed dejectedly and stated pulling things out. By that time, Leah had finished with hers and had to wait for me.

It turned out alright though, because apparently I've been learning nothing in school, and she helped me.

It's a small routine that we started, but it's kind of nice. Sometimes I get the bed and Leah takes the floor, but we always take at least an hour to do homework before anything else. Leah insisted. I don't know why I agreed; maybe because she's the first friend I've had in forever, and just felt obligated to.

"Done!" I say cheerfully.

"With everything?" Leah's face appears back over the edge, hair slightly mused and sticking to her cheek. She bushes it away absently.

"With the first problem," I admit and grow defensive when she gives me a look. "What, I keep getting distracted."

And I am again as my thoughts drift off to some random thing that pops into my head, like its odd that Leah's eyes are so similar to Wolfe's, the same shade of dark swirling brown.

"Sam," Leah calls, snapping her fingers in front of my face.

"What?" I ask, dragging my eyes back to her face where they had drifted to the window.

"I said that maybe we should take a break- do something outside."

I leap to my feet immediately in eagerness.

"Wanna grab something to eat and walk down to the beach?" I offer, already pulling on my shoes.

"God, yes; I'm starving," she complains, sitting up all the way and rubbing her stomach like its actually giving her hunger pains.

She just ate about an hour ago when we got here after school. It's not very surprising though that she's already hungry; she always eats so much- even more than me and I have always stuffed my face whenever it's available.

As we walk down the path from the house, Leah scoops up my hand to hold in hers.

That's another thing that's different. She would always try to hold my hand, and sometimes I would let her, or I would harshly yank it away.

I leave it alone and I can see her grin from the corner of my eye. She always smiles when I don't shake her off.

Do friends normally hold hands?

We stop at the only family run diner on the reservation, and sit in a far booth. Leah's gaze lingers on a particular table for two by the window.

She nods to it. "My ex boyfriend and I used to eat here all the time. That's where we always sat."

She doesn't sound hung up on him anymore, but there is the small taint of old hurt in her expression.

"The one with my name." She nods. "What happened?" I ask.

"My best fiend, who happened to be my cousin, visited from another tribe and he fell in love with her. They're engaged now. Wedding's in August."

"That sucks," I say not knowing what else _to_ say.

She faces me again with a laugh, dark eyes sparkling. "I'm over it; and I understand now. It hurt a lot for the longest time, but I'm happy for them."

The waiter comes over and we order our food.

"Hey, you wanna take this down to the beach and make a picnic out of it?" Leah's asks, and I shrug so she asks for the food to-go.

The air outside is cool, thick clouds blocking out the sky and making everything seem like dusk even though I know there are still a few hours before sunset. The world is soft, a grey that doesn't bother my eyes, and it's nice that I can be outside without it hurting.

The only other color that really stands out here is the green of everything, so the world is just a wash of simple color.

Dark grey sky reaches as far as can see, bleeding into the ocean and lighter grey sand, and then the start of vegetation takes up everything else.

Leah and I find a good spot on the sand, leaning back into the logs that were used for the bonfire I had been forced to go to, and the fire pit lays is grey sludge with burned wood and ash.

Everything is wet, though it hasn't rained since last night, but nothing here ever really dries.

"How long were you and Sam together?" I ask after an extended silence of just eating.

"Three years," she says.

That's long. Even I know enough to know that it is.

"How old were you when you went into the foster system?" She asks, tentatively like she's not sure if she should ask.

"I was seven," I sigh, setting down my burger and digging my fingers into the sand. They bump into rocks and seashells, and dirt gets under my nails. It's unpleasant.

"What happened?" She's even quieter, hesitant, but curious enough to actually ask. I'm surprised it even took her ask long as it did. I expected it weeks ago.

"My mom had died two years before, so my sister dropped out of college to take care of me, but she couldn't keep me." My hands turn to fists, furiously crushing the sand in them. "They took me away. They didn't even listen to me because I was just a kid and what I wanted didn't matter. It was just a little money problems, we could have made it, but I was causing problems at school. She's should have told me they were going to take me away; I would have tried harder!"

I glare at my dirty shoes and rub the sand off on my pants.

Leah gently touches my shoulder, but I'm not in the mood so I shake it off.

"There's a bonfire this Saturday; would you go with me?" She asks after several seconds, effectively changing the subject with ease.

"Sure," I say, because friends are supposed to accept invitations to things. I'm getting kinda good at this friendship stuff.

She smiles brightly at me, and it's contagious.

We finish eating quickly and toss the trash into one of those bins along the beach. We walk for a while, mindlessly chattering. Well, Leah mindlessly chatters while I blurt things out randomly as they pop in my head. I don't know much else how to make the conversation two-way, but I am unbothered by the one sidedness of it. Leah seems just fine with it as well if her constant smile is anything to go by.

Something, suddenly, cold and wet drops onto my cheek like a tear, and I turn my head up to the steadily darkening grey.

"It's going to rain," I interrupt, making her brake off from whatever story she was telling me.

No sooner had I said that, than the sky opened up and cried.

The down pour is sudden, just a single drop in warning, before buckets off water in thick drops pound us from above.

I shriek in laughter as I'm soaked through in seconds and Leah's own returning peal is hard to hear.

Uselessly shielding her eyes, she grabs my hand and takes off running down the beach it the direction we had come. A chill seeps in, shaking my body in shivers, but I'm still happy, still laughing, and still stumbling behind my friend.

She drags me back into the diner, puddles immediately forming under our feet. I cross my arms over my chest, trying to retain heat as I shiver violently, teeth clacking noisily together before I can stiffen my jaw.

Leah's arms wrap around me from behind, and my back goes stiff. Her entire front is pressed into me, her hot face buried into my neck.

It's very uncomfortable to me; warning bells sound in my head. The most I've ever allowed her to touch me is to sometimes hold my hand.

I shudder violently like you do when you're suddenly being warmed, and my body naturally seeks the heat, so I allow her to continue to warm me.

Slowly, my body relaxes into her, as it grows more comfortable being held in this way. Eventually, I even lean into her, pressing myself as closely as possible.

She shivers too, arms tightening on my waist. She's so warm even in her wet clothes. It's like leaning on a working radiator as it works to heat a room.

The rain outside pounds on for about an hour before abruptly stopping like a switch was flipped. It's gone as suddenly as it came, and I even see a flicker of the setting sun.

"Come on," I say, pulling away from my friend, "let's go back to the house and get some dry clothes.

We both are still very damp, and being away from Leah now just makes me even more aware of how cold I actually am. I get the feeling of rolling out of my warm bed and stepping out into the snow outside, barefoot.

Or maybe jumping into an unheated pool in January is a better analogy considering the wetness. Eh, how would I know; I don't pay attention in English.

Leah holds my hand firmly as we walk, and she seems happy like she had just won something grand.

When we get back to my- the- house, I send her to the bathroom to change into some of Brady's clothes. I, myself, bundle up in several layers before sliding into my covers, still trembling slightly.

When Leah walks back into the room, she takes one look at me before pulling the covers up and sliding in next to me. She's really been ignoring the no touching rule today and she's covering my feet with hers, and- oh, her feet are really warm. How is she so warm?

With her pulling me into her, combined with the heavy blankets, I'm finally completely warm and I drop off to sleep easily for the first time in weeks.

* * *

 **A/N: Well, there we go; Leah is getting somewhere with her. What do you think guys? Is she giving in too easily or can she just not resist the pull she doesn't even know is there?**

 **Review!**

 **~Silver~**


	10. Chapter 10

Crushing Gravity

Chapter 10

The leaves overhead rustle as a breeze smelling of ocean brushes by, ruffling my hair and causing the fur of Wolfe's back to stand awkwardly.

I smooth it down with my hand, and lean against her giant frame as we continue to walk.

Leah couldn't hang out with me today, like all Fridays, Mondays and Tuesdays, because she had something to do that she won't tell me about. So I had ventured into the woods that haven't been scary since the second time I went into them, and Wolfe had materialized by my side after an hour of walking.

Her fur seems even more silver in the daylight, but I can actually see that it's just a dark grey that grows lighter as it leads to her belly and legs.

My leg snags on a root, and I tip forward, but Wolfe just juts her large head out and catches me. I giggle.

She's such a smart wolf; I can see the intelligence in her eyes. They almost seem human and are so, so familiar.

A snapping branch draws my attention away from my wolf, yes I think of her as mine, and towards the trees to my right.

A large head appears, rusty red and even bigger than Wolfe, and he makes me uneasy, but I'm not afraid.

Wolfe steps in from of me, growling lowly, and for a while they just look at each other with matching intelligent eyes.

The red wolf takes a step closer, just a few yards away now, and I clutch the grey fur in my fingers tighter. I don't know that wolf, and I don't want him any closer; I don't want him taking my Wolfe.

Are they mates, or just pack? They don't seem completely aggressive towards each other, other than the slight growling from Wolfe.

But as my fist tightens in her shoulder fluff, her ears flatten and she snaps at the wolf with teeth the size of hunting knives.

The red wolf's ears flatten and his teeth pull back before he turns around and runs off the way he came.

I watch him run until Wolfe head butts me in the chest to gain my attention. I laugh and rub her ears even as she licks me with her overly large tongue.

My bangs stick up with the saliva and I wipe them back down with just a bit of disgust.

We keep walking, me trusting Wolfe completely when she noses me into a direction every now and then.

...

The bonfire is slightly different this time. For one, it's on the cliffs instead of the beach, and the fire is already started when we arrive. There are some new people, which surprises me because they are older men.

"Those are the elders," Leah whispers in my ear, having to dip her head pretty far to reach it.

She's touching me again, a hand on my shoulder, fingers brushing my arm, sometimes holding my hand. She's gotten a lot braver since I fell asleep in her arms, and I've gotten a lot more comfortable with her touch since being held so long.

She grabs my hand again, tugging me in a direction of some people I saw at the last bonfire, but never met.

"Come on, let me introduce you to my cousin," she says, smiling brightly and stopping two feet away from the couple. "This is Emily," she points to the girl with the wicked scars, and then the buff man delicately holding her waist, "and Sam."

Sam. As in her ex boyfriend that broke her heart.

Anger flares in me, hot and irrational and unrestrained.

My hand rips itself out of Leah's, and balled in a fist, it smacks the huge guy right in the face. It hurts, jarring all the way up to my elbow like when I hit Paul, but it's very satisfying to see the shock and recoil my hit had.

Emily gasps, immediately cupping his face, and everyone has wide eyes, watching us now and waiting to see what he will do. My anger was gone again, cooled as quickly as it flared, as Leah yanks me behind her rougher than she's ever handled me.

I didn't like that touch, and I shake her off, which I hadn't done since Wednesday.

My own eyes are on Sam, waiting to see what he does.

He rubs his large hand over his jaw, eyebrows raised. "That was a pretty good punch," he compliments, seeming surprised. Everyone give a collective sigh and Leah relaxes her tense stance. Emily calms down and looks at me as if she can't fathom why I had done it. "Why did you punch me?" He asks when I didn't say anything.

"I dunno," I shrug. "Friends do that, right?" I ask Leah. "Punch ex boyfriends that broke their friend's heart?"

"Ah," she rubs the back of her neck. "I guess. But you could have warned me that you were going to hit him, I would have stopped you."

"I didn't _know_ I was going to hit him," I defend myself. "And what do you mean you would have stopped me; I'll hit him if I wanna hit him." I take a step around her, toward the large man as if to hit him again, and she grabs me again to stop me. To restrain me.

I shove her, snarling. "Don't touch me!"

I'm angry again. I don't like being told what to do. I don't like being grabbed. Sure I let her touch me some, hold me, but she can't _grab_ me.

 _Calm down, Sammy,_ Lyla warns.

Hurt flashes in Leah's eyes, and her hands tremble slightly, so I try to do as the voice in my head instructed to do, and take a deep breath.

Friends, I remind myself. Friends have fights. This isn't even that, it's a spat, a disagreement.

"Sorry," I amend slowly, testing the word. I don't apologize; I say what I mean and I don't take it back. I take this back. I didn't mean to yell at her, but I don't want her to do what she did again. "Just don't...grab me."

"Okay," she nods eagerly. "Sorry."

"So, you're not going to hit me again, right?" The man asks and I turn back to him and his fiancé.

"Guess not," I shrug. "Sam."

"Sam," he holds out his hand, smiling.

I grin too, at the irony of our names, but don't take his hand. Again, it's not necessarily to be rude, but handshakes are awkward to me. I just don't do them.

He lets it drop back to Emily's waist, unoffended. After all, I did just punch him.

Leah's touch to the back of my hand in uncertain, hesitant, so I open my palm in an invitation for her to hold it. She does immediately.

"Come on," she tugs gently in a different direction. "Let's get some food before they open it up to the guys."

I look up in the direction we are walking and see many tables set up with mountains of food. The old men are getting plates along with Kim, a girl I don't know, and Quil and Jacob getting plates for the little girls they were shadowing everywhere.

Leah let's my hand go to pile a plate high with food, and it surprises me when she hands it to me. I know that she's dying to eat.

"I'm not allowed to eat yet," she explains, pulling a water bottle out of an ice chest for me and going back to sit in front of the fire. She then disappears to hover close to the table, staring longingly at a particularly large patty.

I shake my head in amusement and turn back to my meal, but pause when I meet deep green eyes. It's the ten-year-old little girl I had noticed at the last bonfire, but she seems to have grown quite a bit since then.

She's staring at me curiously, head tilted. She doesn't look anything like the others I had seen on the reservation, and she looks even more out of place than I do.

Where's my skin is somewhat pale and hair is black, hers is chalky white and her hair is a strange bronzy color.

"Hello," I say politely.

She smiles but doesn't say anything in return.

"I'm Sam." She points somewhere behind my shoulder, and I turn to look at the hulking man handing his fiancé a plate of food. "Yes, like him. What's your name?"

She immediately reaches out towards my face, and I don't know what to do because I don't want her to touch me, but I can't just bat her hand away like I normally do.

"Nessy," Jacob says, suddenly at her side. She pauses in her approach and looks up at him. He bends down as she reaches up to him, and she touches his cheek. He shakes his head. "No, she doesn't know."

The exchange is odd, and the absolute adoration in Jacob's expression he looks at 'Nessy' with, makes me uncomfortable.

"Sam," he acknowledges me, "this is Nessy. Say hello, Nessy."

I had thought that the girl didn't, or couldn't, talk, but she opens her mouth and the most elegant voice comes out. "Hello." Just a single word, a simple one, but it's like the ring of wind chimes in its beauty.

Jacob grins like a proud father, or overprotective brother.

Leah plops down next to me, concentrating on her towering food that is balancing precariously on a too-small plate.

"Jacob, you better hurry up or everything good will be gone." The russet boy's head shoots up and his mouth opens in shock.

"Oh, man, no- guys, common, wait!" He darts towards the long tables, shoving the pack of guys as best he can to get to the center of it.

Leah had gotten the patty she had wanted, along with what looks like the rest of the plate it was teetering on... And then the rest of the food on the table.

It's actually fascinating to watch it disappear into her mouth as fast as it does, and I wonder where she puts it all.

She doesn't notice my staring until she's on her last burger, and she pauses.

"What?" she asks, a blush darkening her skin even further. It's cute how after wolfing down all of that, she thinks putting down her last burger would make a difference, like it's the last one that would be too much for a person.

I giggle and reach out to wipe off a smear of mustard that smudges her cheek. She blushes again, causing her overly warm cheek to grow even hotter. It's like she's constantly running a temperature, but she doesn't ever seem sick. Some people just must run higher than others.

It's well after dark and everyone has just finished eating when one of the older guys clears his throat.

It had been pretty loud with people chatting, but a hush immediately falls over everyone.

* * *

 **A/N: I'm really excited for the next chapter, guys, so you know that it's going to be good... At least I hope you think it will be good...**

 **Anyway, please review; leave your thoughts; praise me; criticize me- actually no, please don't be harsh. I have very sensitive feelings.**

 **~Silver~**


	11. Chapter 11

Crushing Gravity

Chapter 11

"Who's he?" I whisper to Leah, but somehow it still seems startlingly loud.

"Billy Black, Jake's father," she answers, lips hovering just a millimeter from my ear. She's much more successful in keeping quiet.

I'm about to ask what's going on, but everyone is looking at him expectantly, so I hold my tongue because I figure I'm about to find out.

He starts speaking and I'm entrapped.

He has the kind of voice that demands silence. It's the kind that carries easily over every part of the bonfire, but still has you leaning in so as not to miss a single word.

His voice is a deep timbre that paints his words across your eyes as he says them, and I can almost see the images playing out in the orange dancing flames.

He tells the legends of his people, the Quileutes on the reservation, from Taha Aki and the spirit warriors, to the cold ones, and the great wolf men.

He has the voice of a storyteller, who makes his words come to life and seem real.

I'm so enthralled with his voice and the stories that I don't even think about it when I lean into Leah, as the surrounding night grows chillier, or when my thumb finds its way between my lips is answering nervousness to his chilling tale.

No, I'm too busy focused on the story. The one with the men that turn into giant wolves.

It can't be real, can it? I mean I feel stupid even to think it.

But Wolfe... who would she be if she were human?

My mind flashes back to all the times I had thought her eyes were so similar to Leah's, and the intelligence and familiarity in them was always obvious.

"Sam?"

My eyes snap open, which is strange because I don't even remember closing them. I retort to an upright position when I realize that my head had fallen onto Leah's shoulder, and hastily wipe my thump on my jeans.

The fire pit is just smoldering now, and several people are leaving as others pack up. Billy Black is no longer telling stories in his wheelchair, and nowhere to be seen.

"Sam?" Leah asks again, and I turn to face her, still feeling the heat coming from her body because of how close we are.

I stare. Her eyes, big and brown, are just like Wolfe's. I can even see the flecks of gold now that her face is so close, framed by dark lashes. They brush against her cheeks every time she blinks.

"Are you Wolfe?" I blurt, and then blink because I hadn't planned on just asking like that.

She recoils, eyes widening. "What?"

"You are aren't you? You're my giant wolf, Wolfe?"

She's absolutely silent and I can feel other eyes on me, but I ignore them.

Then, nervously, she nods her head.

Huh. I don't think I actually expected her to confirm it. It's just so crazy.

I stare at the dying flames, not knowing what to do or say from there. "Yeah, okay," comes out, just for something _to_ say.

Her fingers brush my knee, touching again as she likes to do.

"What are you thinking?" She asks anxiously, causing me to look back at her. She's afraid. Of me? Of my reaction? Of me telling?

"I'm kinda disappointed."

She blinks, her face scrunching up. "Disappointed?"

"Well, yeah. That means there is no zoo conspiracy, right? This is a real bummer for me."

"This is it?" her lips slowly turn up and the gold seems more prominent. "No fear? No screaming, or running, or denial? Just like that, you accept it- accept me?"

"Well...yeah." I scratch the back of my head awkwardly. Was I supposed to freak out? "I suppose if you want-"

She lunges forward, trapping my face in her warm, warm hands, and then her lips are on mine. Her hold is firm, there is a slight quiver to it, but her lips are gentle, just a soft pressure.

It takes me a full three seconds to shake off the surprise and actually react.

I leap to my feet, taking several steps away, and turn my back to her as I cover my mouth, feeling sick.

"I think you should take me home now," I manage to get out, wearily.

I can hear her leap to her own feet, and practically _feel_ her reach out to me.

"Sam, I- I'm so sorry- I didn't- I mean-"

"I think you should take me home now," I repeat, trying to physically turn into myself.

"Please, Sam, just forget it okay? Can we pretend I didn't do that?" she begs, touching my arm.

I cringe away. I had thought they were just friendly touches. I thought friends just touched that much. I didn't know she liked me like that; she _can't_ like me like that.

"I think I'll find my own way home," I gasp, and stager towards the path that leads down to the beach and houses after.

"Sam, _please_ -" she sounds ready to cry, voice thick and horse.

"I just- I just need to go home," I mumble more to myself than anyone. I feel a familiar detachment disconnecting my brain and body. "Home, home is a house, the house isn't my home. Don't have a home."

 _You like it here, Sammy. It's okay to see it as home. You might not have to leave._

"Shut up, Lyla!" I hiss, and push past Sam who had suddenly appeared in my way, and take off at a run.

"Sam!" Leah calls, sounding like she had actually let those tears fall.

My heart pounds loudly in my ears as my feet find the trail on their own, and carry me away. The forest stretches out on my right, dark and gloomy, but I don't feel like proving I'm not scared right now; I just have to get back to the house.

A howl, long, and beautiful, and mournful, rips through the night so very close. Goosebumps jump to my skin.

My feet move faster on their own, sliding along the spiky rocks, scraping my palms and knees, and elbows.

I don't know why I'm running anymore; I know she's not following me. Maybe I'm just running to run, or I can't stop my legs from carrying me, or maybe I'm subconsciously running from something else.

I burst through the Fuller front door, right past Brady and Collin now chilling on the couch, and lock myself in my room with a second skin of sweat making my limbs sticky.

My breathing is hard, and not all of it is because of my sprint from the cliffs.

I had never thought of Leah in that way; I had never thought of anyone in that way. I couldn't, didn't want to, still don't want to.

Because that would lead to me wanting a relationship, and maybe that person would somehow have liked me back, and if I haven't moved yet, maybe we would have started a relationship. And a relationship leads to sex.

People, in a relationship, out of a relationship, want sex. I don't want to be wanted that way. I don't want someone to want sex with me. I wouldn't be able to- I'd be no good- I couldn't handle it.

Someone kissed me, my first kiss, and I'm already terrified of what she would want from me.

I thought it was just friendship. But then she started to hold my hand. So I thought she just wanted a _close_ friendship. But then she kissed me. So then I'll think she just wants a relationship, but then she'll want sex because we're _in_ a relationship.

By breaths aren't slowing; they are only getting faster and it's only getting harder to breathe.

Is this what it feels like to have a panic attack? I haven't had one in so long.

 _Calm down, Sammy, take deep breathes. There you go, slowly. That's it._

God, what do I do? She is such a good friend, at least I think she is, and she is so nice. And I made her cry.

I use the door to help push myself to my feet, and crawl onto my bed.

Is it selfish that I don't want to lose her as a friend? Is it selfish if I just pretend it didn't happen, like she suggested?

Do I even want to hang around someone whom I know might want me like... _that_?

This is so messed up. I am so messed up. It was just a stupid kiss and I'm already thinking of sex.

How would that even work? My stomach rolls with sickness just thinking of it at all. I don't want to think of it. I don't want anything to do with it.

My thoughts and twitching, jumping, limbs won't settle or stop or slow, so I tear up the room. Trash is tossed, my clothes flung from drawers, and my mattress flipped.

Until I finally find what I'm looking for. My medication. I take two, the first time I've ever willingly taken them, but I want to just sleep and stop _thinking_.

* * *

 **A/N: Yay, hehe! So, what do you think; is Sam being too dramatic? Poor Leah...**

 **Review!**

 **~Silver~**


	12. Chapter 12

Crushing Gravity

Chapter 12

I spend all of Sunday locked in my room. Mrs. Fuller comes knocking for lunch, but I ignore her, and Brady knocks an average of five times. He asks to talk; he asks me what happened; he threatens to break down the door; he calls me a baby throwing a tantrum.

I ignore him, even though it's really hard. I've got no control over my emotions, so I take my medication.

And then I take it again when the sun is long set, and again when it's risen and time for school.

I get ready calmly, and when Brady's face shows surprise as I open my door just as he's about to knock, I blink slowly at him, and tell him to hurry up. I'm already ready to go.

Because I had come to a decision. A selfish one. I would pretend all this weekend was a dream. Nothing changed and nothing new or odd happened. My friend did not kiss me. She told me she was a giant wolf, and then she walked me home and we parted ways.

It's believable. I almost believe it.

Except I still remember her warm lips, so gentle. I remember her hands, capturing, but not restraining. And I remember her crying for me, because my reaction hurt her.

She expected me to freak out about the wolf thing, that's the obvious one to freak about, but I reacted so well and how was she to know I would react the way I did about her kiss.

I should have stayed, told her calmly that I wasn't looking for something like that. But no, like Brady said, I threw a tantrum.

So I'm going to go a little more and pretend it didn't happen. Everything will stay the same. It doesn't.

Jacob does not pick us up today. His shiny black car rolls up, but Leah is behind the wheel, worrying her bottom lip into a bloody mess. She licks it and turns to me with nervousness across her entire face.

I watch as it heals before my eyes, returning to the smooth that it always was, the smooth lips that I remember caressing mine.

I quickly look back up to her eyes, suddenly feeling flustered, and get into the passenger seat.

"Does that healing thing have something to do with you being wolf?" I ask as she opens her mouth to say something. I watch her curiously as she tilts her head in confusion. She was expecting something else.

"Yes," she answers slowly. "We heal super fast. We also run at 108 degrees which is why I'm so hot to you." She reaches out, placing the back of her hand against my cheek, before flushing and snatching it back. "Sorry," she stammers.

She wouldn't have thought anything of it before, touching my cheek, if she hadn't kissed me, and I can tell she thinks that it's a mistake.

"What else is there?" I ask, ignoring her apology. Brady finally gets into the back seat, without complaint.

"Besides turning into I giant wolf?" She laughs. "We are really fast and strong. We are tougher than humans."

"I know," I grimace, rubbing my knuckles. "You all hurt to punch."

"You should stop hitting werewolves then," she scolds. "They are really easy to anger."

I falter, my playful attitude dropping.

Easy to anger is never good, even on a human. But humans, compared to giant wolves, would be so much easier to defend against. How far would a wolf go, if I were to anger it badly enough?

"Hey- I- I would never hurt you." She says, seeming to catch my thoughts. "You know that right?"

"Yeah," I say. I know she would never hurt me.

"And no one else in the pack would dare."

"Yeah," I repeat, less sure.

"Seriously," she leans across the seat, laying a hand on my knee. I flash back to the other night. Her face is close again, close enough to see the gold, and it's not uncomfortable. "I would never let anyone hurt you."

I don't know how to respond to that.

"Yeah," Brady says from the back seat. Leah pulls away fast, glaring at the younger boy. "You would literally kill anyone if they did, or even tried."

I smile as she growls at him in that wolfy way of hers.

"Thanks, Wolfe," I grin, and she immediately stops growling. She stares at me for several seconds before blushing and facing front.

She finally starts to drive.

When we get to school, we part ways with Leah looking confused and lost again. She didn't expect things to be normal the next time she saw me, but I'm good at this: pretending something didn't happen.

In my classes, it's odd that I'm able to focus. My mind and attention are slow, but I don't fidget or get distracted by something out the window. I don't even feel like I'm really there.

"You seem...different," Leah tells me at lunch, hesitantly.

"I took my medicine for my ADHD this morning. I normally don't."

"Oh," she falls quiet, tearing up a string of grass growing from a crack in the concrete.

We are where we were the time she confronted me about being my friend; it's where we've been eating since, and the days are growing warmer, if not any less wet.

Exams are only a week away. It's really amazing how it's already been three months.

"So," she hesitates. "... I'm sorry; what's going on? I don't understand."

I sigh heavily, placing my lunch to the side. We had only made it half a day.

"Look... I'm sorry about how I reacted last night. It was really childish of me and I shouldn't have run away."

She fiddles with the string of grass, ripping it to pieces. "Why did you?"

"You surprised me, okay? And I was scared. I'd never even thought of anyone that way before so I never would have even thought that you would...like me like _that_. You _can't_ like me like that." I stare at her hard wanting her to face me so she can see my seriousness.

She does look at me, and her gaze stuns me.

"But I do."

"Well, stop," I beg. "Just stop liking me."

"I can't."

"Why not?" I ask. "Turn it off; just stop. Don't like me."

She looks baffled, like I'm not understanding something so simple when it should be the other way around.

"You really haven't liked anyone before, have you?"

Now I'm confused. "I just _said_ that."

"Sam, you can't control who you like or fall in love with," she says slowly. "I can't control how I feel about you, I just feel it."

I feel shaken; my hands are shaking. Why couldn't we just pretend? She said we could pretend.

I can't meet her eyes anymore, looking down into my lap. My hands become absolutely still. "I can't...like you like that. I thought we were just friends; I didn't know. I'm sorry that you might be hurting."

She reaches out and picks up my hand. Her warm fingers caress my knuckles and trace my palms, and I don't feel like shaking her off. It's strange, but I like it when she holds my hand.

"If all you want is a friend, then that's what I'll be. But if you ever _do_ want something more..."

"Thanks," I smile at our hands. Everything will be okay after all. Nothing has to change.

I stand up as the bell rings, letting her hand go so I could collect my half eaten lunch.

It feels different now, when she grabs my hand back up as we walk down the hall, now that I know of her feelings. I'm not sure _how_ it is different.

There is just a squirming feeling in my belly like when I'm about to throw up, except it doesn't feel like I'm going to throw up and I don't feel sick. Well, a little hot in the head; maybe I am coming down with something.

"Are you coming over today?" I ask before she can leave me at the doors to the girls' locker room.

She gives me a regretful look. "I've got patrol today."

"That's when you run around as Wolfe?" I ask starting to smile. "So you'll just meet me in the woods then?"

She laughs, well, snorts.

"Yeah."

"Cool," I grin and turn into the locker room so I get out of the doorway.

* * *

 **A/N: Aaaand we're getting somewhere! Please review and let me know your thoughts!**

 **~Silver~**


	13. Chapter 13

Crushing Gravity

Chapter 13

The sky is crying. Just a soft and quiet weep that dampens the top layer of my hair, but doesn't go any deeper. The kind that is nice to stand out in and turn your face up to the overcast sky that doesn't hurt your eyes. The kind that is cool against your skin, but that's okay because the outside air is warm enough to not need a jacket.

I still have my hoodie of course, but Leah is just wearing shorts and a tank top. It's the least amount of clothing I've seen her in, and my eyes keep drawing back to her smooth shoulders.

I trip over a root, just a stumble really, but Leah's hand snaps out to steady me.

"Thanks," I manage with a blush. I've been feeling odd around her all week. Shaky, uncertain, more aware of her physical presence.

"So are we almost there yet, or what?" I ask, becoming annoyed. With walking, with my squirming stomach, and with her coming to my house this Saturday to wake me up at ten. She didn't tell me what we were going to do, just dragged me out of bed and stuffed an extra change of clothes into a bag.

She just smiles at me and keeps walking slightly ahead.

The path starts to look familiar the farther we go, until we come to the cliffs of the last bonfire. The fire pit is unlit; there is no towering table of food, and no elders.

Just, about, a dozen half-naked men.

My heart, which had also been all wonky lately, takes off at a sprint, pounding hard and fast in my rib cage.

My knees lock against any forward movement, eyes widening and jaw tightening to a painful ache.

Leah stops suddenly, turning to face me with a confused expression.

"What's wrong?" She asks.

I reach out to her, and she immediately closes the distance, embracing me with little to no thought. "What is it?"

Surprisingly, in her arms, I start to calm. My heart steadies to a healthier racing pace and not the kind that I can feel in my ears.

She pulls back, looks at me closely, looks at the guys, looks back at me, and then tugs me toward them.

I'm calmer; the shock had worn off enough for me to recognize the men, most of them actually boys, but I still cling to Leah's back.

Inexplicably, even though she is a girl and much smaller than them, I feel safe with her. And I do suspect that the boys would never hurt me in that way; they protect humans against the cold ones.

Still, their bareness makes me uncomfortable, even more so than Leah's originally did.

"Why are we here?" I mumble, feeling very childish as I burry my face between her shoulders and bite the tip of my thumb. Leah tries to gently coax me out, not knowing what to make of my sudden shyness.

Paul turns to me with that smile I absolutely hate.

"Cliff diving," he tells me, voice full of mean taunt. "Lee-Lee didn't want to leave you out, but it's not like you'll jump anyway."

I straighten, pulling away from my friend to face the senior boy. He's good at starting anger in me, and he always finds it amusing when I take a swing at him. Of course, I know he's trying to provoke me, but that doesn't matter any because I always react.

"Paul," Sam chides. "That's enough."

Leah is already growling at him.

He smirks at me, before turning around and jumping off the ledge.

My eyes widen and I dart forward to the edge of the cliff to look down at the calm grey waters.

He lets out a long _whoop_ until he submerges with a splash.

My heart is loud again, beating in my throat until he reemerges a full six seconds later. I can hear his laugh from all the way up here. It must be fifty feet.

And then the boys are howling, and Sam is running and jumping and doing a perfect swan dive into the water bellow. The two ant-like figures swim farther out and then look up the cliff-face.

Leah is at my side, steadying me, as I seem to sway.

Brady grins at me. "You going to jump?" He asks. "It's actually really fun."

"Or are you scared?" Collin teases good-naturedly.

Seth comes up behind him and shoves him off the cliff. Collin howls, flails, flips, and then hits the water with a painful sounding bellyflop.

My heart is in my fingertips until he comes up gasping and cursing.

I stare wide-eyed at Seth as he grins down at the water.

"What?" He asks. "He's being a jerk, and it's not like it would have really hurt him."

"Thanks Seth," Leah grins.

"No prob, Sis."

"My turn!" Brady cheers, taking the jump with a run and flipping a few times.

Then Jared, and Jacob, and Seth, and Quil, and Embry all go and it's just me and Leah left on the cliff.

My heart pounds as I stand at the very edge, bare toes gripping the rock as I stare down at the grey sloshing water.

Leah turns away and starts heading to the forest. "Come on, Sam," she calls. "We can go meet them on the beach."

I back up, one step, two steps, three steps. I hear Collins teasing 'are you scared?' in my mind, and I fling myself off the ledge.

Leah gives a startled scream that is lost by the rushing wind in my ears. My heart drops to my stomach, my stomach drops to my feet, my limbs flail until I am just ten yards away.

I suck in a deep breath, cross my arms over my chest, and close my legs, pointing my toes into the water like I saw the majority of the others do.

A shock goes through me as soon as I'm swallowed by the ocean. The water is cold, colder than I expected, and I had went down further than I had thought.

As soon as my descent slows, I kick out and start swimming for the surface.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seve- my head comes above the waves and I gasp in a breath, spitting water.

The guys' crows rush to my ears along with the gurgle sound of the small waves hitting the rocks.

Arms wrap around me, and for a moment, I freak. Because the guys are in the water and half naked and I'm being touched, but then I turn my head and see familiar big brown eyes with flecks of gold, and I relax.

Leah's shorter hair is plastered to her cheek and neck, and water droplets clump on her lashes, and her body warms mine.

I hadn't seen her jump in after me.

"What the hell, Sam?" She glares at me, and I blink.

"What?" I pull back some, but she doesn't let go. Her hold is restraining. "Let go!" I kick out, hitting her hard in the shins, and she releases me.

"Why'd you jump?" She takes a deep breath, calming her tension.

"What are you talking about?" I scowl. "You're the one who brought me here; you thought I wouldn't? I wasn't scared."

Jacob swims closer, looking cautious.

"Hey, calm down guys. Sam, it's just that the humans normally jump from the smaller one halfway down. _She_ was scared, okay?"

That doesn't make sense. Why would she be scared? "Okay," I say anyway.

"Come on, let's swim back up to the beach," Leah says softly.

I nod and start doggy paddling in that direction. It's the only way I know how to swim. That, or duck under and froggy it.

It takes several minutes to get to the sand, and Leah has to tug quite a bit before I'm able to stumble out of the surf.

Leah slings an arm around me as I shiver, and I only hug her tighter around the waist.

"Why didn't you take some of your clothes off?" She sighs as we start the half-mile walk back up to the cliff where our changes of clothes are. "Come on, take off your sweater; it's only making you colder."

I allow her to peal it from my body, and goose bumps immediately spring into existence on my exposed arms. She hugs me again, rubbing her warm hands up and down along my skin to cause friction.

This touch, this one, is the one I like. I close my eyes, burning from the salt water, and turn my head into her shoulder, trusting her completely to get me to where we're going.

I give a silent sigh of contentment, and she shivers. I wonder if wolves get cold?

The guys all don't need to go up to the cliffs, so they head back to Emily's house for lunch. The poor girl provides practically three meals a day for werewolves, it's a wonder she isn't broke.

Leah is kind enough to turn her back, but it's still awkward to change out in the open without a wall separating us. After that, she takes me to the diner for lunch where we hang out for several hours before she finally takes me home.

I feel strange as she walks away, leaving me at the door. My mind seems kind of fuzzy, like there's something I ought to do, but I can't fathom what it is. All I know is that the farther she walks away from me, the faster my heart speeds.

"Leah?" I call. She's already halfway down the road, but she hears never the less, and turns with a curious tilt of her head. I'm not sure what I'm going to say next, and it surprises me even as I'm asking it. "Do you want to spend the night?"

Even from so far away, I can see her grin. She jogs back, eyes dancing in happiness. "I'd love to."

* * *

 **A/N: There is a surprise next chapter. How would you guys feel about another Leah's POV? (hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge)**

 **~Silver~**


	14. Chapter 14

Crushing Gravity

Chapter 14

Leah's POV

I've learned a few things about Sam. For one, she does't like to be touched. That is the pretty obvious one; she yells at anyone who tries. But she lets me touch her. She lets me hold her. She curls into me sometimes.

She hates to be restrained. She yelled at me when I grabbed her, or didn't let her move. She doesn't like to feel trapped. I try not to trap her.

She's very defensive. Yet she lets her guard down around me. She relaxes and her emerald green eyes lighten, and she seems like such a child.

She hates being afraid; she won't accept it; she pretends she's not.

I thought it was so strange the first time she came out into the woods, because I could see her fear, smell it, as she walked stubbornly into the forest. I didn't know why she would go into them, if she was so scared of them.

And then I figured it out, just a few hours ago when I was looking down that cliff as she plummeted into the water. Everyone there could smell her fear, see it on her face even though she hid it well. She didn't want to jump; she didn't want to be there. But when I told her we were going to go down, she leapt. _Because_ she was afraid. Because she had to prove that she _wasn't_ afraid.

She is easily angered.

She hates people picking on others.

She likes punching people who pick on others.

She is easily accepting. Everyone was impressed with how well she took the news of real werewolves, but it was dampened by her reaction to my kissing her.

But there are also so many things about her that I don't understand at all. There are so many mixed signals with her.

She told me that she couldn't like me like that, and I believed her. Because I looked into her eyes and really saw that she meant it.

But then she goes and acts like we had before. She acts even closer to me than before. She touches more, I catch her staring longer, and if I didn't know any better, I would think that she's leading me on.

But I do know better, and I know that she's not.

Because today with the little amount of clothes I had on, she acted so awkward. She looked lingeringly at me, but she was so reluctant to let me touch her except when she was cold.

And she got so shy with the guys being shirtless.

She said that she's never liked anyone before, and I believe her. Just watching her interact around people, and me, you can tell.

She really had no idea that I had been giving her not so subtle tells that I liked her, and she had no idea that we weren't doing normal things that regular friends did.

She was so surprised and scared when I kissed her, but I can't regret it, because I think it got her thinking subconsciously about the possibility of something more.

I had thought that I had gotten the broken imprint connection. That it didn't work both ways with us, but... Maybe the imprint had been working, but she just couldn't interpret the feelings cause she's never felt them before.

I look down at Sam now, and smile softly.

She had fallen asleep an hour ago, and is safely tucked in my arms. Drool is making a little puddle on the pillow, dripping down her thumb.

That's another thing. She sucks her thumb. I had noticed it in the forest, the first time I spent the night, at the bonfire. It's a subconscious thing.

She really is childish, and she looks even more young and beautiful in sleep.

I reach out, brushing a wavy raven lock off her cheek, and trace her jaw.

There is a small freckle just below her left eye, nearly invisible if you're not looking.

She shifts with a small hum in the back of her throat, turning over to face me, and clutches the front of my shirt with both hands.

Her thumb shines in the rare moonlight, with slobber, but I don't think it's gross at all. She's so cute.

Her lips move soundlessly, so I dip my head lower.

"Mm, Ly...Ly...la...no..." She whimpers and I pull her closer. She sighs and relaxes, puffing her cool breath on my collarbone, causing a shiver to race down my spine.

It's really not fair the effect she has on me, when I have so little on her.

But the name... Lyla. It sounds familiar.

And then I remember. "Shut up, Lyla," she had hissed at Sam as he tried to slow her down from running away from me.

I hadn't thought much of it at the time, because it felt like someone was shoving his or her hand down my throat to rip my heart out of my rib cage. Seeing her walk, no run, away...it hurt so badly. It felt like I was dying.

But maybe I should have paid more attention to that name. "Shut up, Lyla!"

Why would she say that at a time of her running away from a kiss?

She pulls herself closer, a little squeak noise in her throat, and her mouth is brushing against my neck, moving silently and breath puffing evenly.

Familiar hot coils jolt in my lower stomach, and I have to briefly squeeze my legs together, but I can't because one of her legs slides between them.

I bite my lip and whimper. It's really not fair.

She's just fifteen; she still sucks her fucking thumb for crying out loud!

Her knee comes up suddenly, running right into my beginning ache, and I gasp.

But then it's like a bucket of ice water is dumped on me because she cries out, and not the way I was close to start imagining. The kind in fear.

She jerks again, thrashing, and whimpers. Tears are leaking out from behind her closed eyes, and I reach out to touch her, but she flinches.

"Please!" She begs, gasping and trying to madly wriggle away. She drops off to muttering again, so low that I can hardly hear. "No...please... I don't..." A high-pitched whine escapes her as she arches off the bed and kicks out.

Fear has my heart pounding, and I feel helpless to do anything as her nightmare keeps hold of her. Tears spring to my eyes.

"Shhh," I hush gently. "It's okay, Sam. It's alright; I'll protect you..."

She starts to calm, and her hands grope blindly over the blankets. "Leah?" She asks.

"I'm here," I pull her into me, gently with a loose hold the way she likes it, and she sighs in relief, relaxing back against me. "You're safe, baby girl, you're safe."

"I don't...wanna go back..."

Her breathing evens out, just a gentle gust against my neck again, but it still feels like my naked butt was dumped in the snow.

My heart is still racing in fear, and I'm trembling through my entire body. The wolf wants to get out and attack the threat, but it can't tear into a bad dream. So I burry my nose in her wild hair, and take deep lungfuls of her scent.

My tremors turn to just a shaking in my hands, and I know that I'm too freaked to get any sleep now.

So I stroke her shoulder, and murmur stupid reassurances to her, that also happen to be directed toward myself. I stay up, guarding her from whatever night terror she had, hoping for my own sanity that it doesn't come back.

Because she's sucking her thumb again and I just figured something else out about her.

She does it when she's vulnerable.

* * *

 **A/N: So what do we think of Leah's POV? I personally love this chapter but I'm kind of biased. It's up to you to knock me down a few pegs or stroke my pride.**

 **~Silver~**


	15. Chapter 15

Crushing Gravity

Chapter 15

It's peaceful when I wake up, even though I open my eyes to blackness, which is strange.

I remember my nightmare started. I was being taken away from Lyla again, thrown over a shoulder as I kicked and screamed, and she just stood there in the doorway to our apartment, arms crossed over her stomach and tears not yet falling from her eyes as a woman talked to her.

And then I was eight in the bed of my fifth home, and the door creaked slowly open. My foster father was standing there, hesitating, and I glared at him so fiercely because I hated it here. I hated it anywhere they placed me and I was hoping that if they couldn't find someone to take me in, they'd give me back to my sister.

He came into the room, shutting the door and locking it, and kneeled on my bed.

I was confused. It was the middle of the night.

And then he crawled on top of me and covered my mouth when I gave a startled cry. He ran his large hand over my chest and rubbed me between my legs, and I didn't understand what was happening, but I knew I didn't like it, so I punched at him, kicked, struggled. My fists were still raw from the fight I got in earlier in the day. But he was so much bigger than me.

He ripped my shirt off, pushed my pants and panties around my ankles, and I cried. I was so scared when he started pulling off his own clothes, I tried to get away, but he only grabbed my ankle and pulled me back into him.

A thrill of terror spasmed my entire being when he ground that bulging thing hanging between his legs, into my private area.

I didn't like it, I wanted him to stop, begged him to stop, and then I was suddenly in the forests of the reservation with Wolfe, Leah, and we were looking out over the cliffs we had jumped off of. She was leaning into me, shielding me from the cold wind and warming me all the way to my toes.

I stroked her silvery grey fur, and breathed in her woodsy smell, and I was happy. I was far away.

I felt the first regrets of not wanting to be moved to a new home. I didn't want to leave that place.

And that was the strange part of my dream. It didn't finish like it normally does. It changed.

I breathe in the woodsy smell, and pull away from the black fabric. More color reaches my eyes, deep brown with golden flecks, and I blush.

Leah is just looking down at me, petting my arm. She moves to push a strand of floating hair behind my ear before I get the chance to do it myself.

"How long have you been up?" My voice croaks, horse with sleep, and I stretch against her, pointing my toes to the end of the bed, hands above my head, and my chest pushes out as I arch.

She smiles softly. "Not long."

For some reason, I just stare at her. I don't know why, but she looks...kind of pretty. Her face is completely relaxed and she's looking at me in such a soft way, that I can't look away.

It makes me feel...odd. Like, my chest is spasming again and my stomach feels like it's in knots.

"Um," I duck my head, tucking myself under chin, and her arms wrap around me instantly. "Can we just stay here a while?"

"Anything you want," she responds quietly.

I wonder if she had stopped _like_ liking me yet, and if not, am I hurting her? I don't mean to be. She's so nice... But I've never had something like this with anyone before, and I don't want it to end.

A snarl rumbles beneath my hand, and I giggle, sitting up.

Leah blushes. "I'll go see what's for breakfast," I tell her, and walk towards the door.

"Morning, dear!" Mrs. Fuller greets as I enter the kitchen. "Is Leah up?"

"Yeah," I answer. "And she's pretty hungry so I hope you made a feast."

She smiles over her shoulder.

"Trust me, Brady eats just as much, so I always make too much."

"Cool; do you want me to go wake him?"

"That would be great, thanks."

I don't know why I'm being so helpful; maybe I kind of, maybe, like it here, but I just go to Brady's door and fling it open.

He's twisted up in the covers with his head shoved under a pillow.

"Breakfast is ready," I call to him. He groans, shifts, and half-heartedly tosses his pillow in my general direction.

I shrug and walk away back towards my room.

I push the door open, and freezes for all of two seconds with a gasp.

Leah is very toned. I knew that for a while, could feel it through her hugs, saw it yesterday as her clothes were plastered to her body. But I didn't _know_ until I saw her smooth, bare skin.

She is up, standing in the middle of the room with her shirt halfway over her head. Her stomach muscles are stretched taut, the dark tan skin that all the Quileutes have, is smooth and rippling in muscles.

It's her breasts that my eyes widen at. Perky round mounds and standing erect as her arms stretch over her head, caught in her sleep shirt.

"Oh!" I slam the door closed, clenching my eyes shut.

A strange feeling had shot to my lower stomach, and now there is a tingling... _down there_.

I lean heavily against the door, heart racing, and I squeeze my legs together. It's a very uncomfortable feeling, that I want to stop, and I don't even know what it is.

The knob turns and I leap away from the door before I can fall in. My head is pounding with how hot it feels.

"Sorry- I didn't know- should have knocked- um," I stutter. I can't bring myself to look at her.

She laughs just a little. "Don't worry about it, it's not like you haven't seen any before."

I don't know how my face can burn even hotter.

I _haven't_ really seen any before. I don't like to look at my body, so I just quickly wash and change with my eyes straight ahead. I haven't really... _looked_ before.

"Um," I curse myself as I stutter again. "Breakfast is ready."

"Great, I'm starving," she starts to walk past me, but pauses and places a hand on my arm. "Hey, are you alright?"

I take a deep breath and shove down the embarrassment to look up at her. Her face is concerned, and it grounds me enough for my painful blush to slowly cool.

"Yeah," I answer. "You go ahead; I'm going to get dressed."

"Okay, put something comfy on; I think today we could just stay in and watch some moves, and you need to study some for finals."

I groan, the earlier incident completely erased from my mind. I absolutely hate school!

Well, not really. Between Leah getting Kim to start tutoring me, and her own assistance with my homework, it's been a lot easier to understand. I'm actually getting caught up.

...

Leah fell asleep.

Twenty minutes into the movie, her breathing got deeper and her head fell the rest of the way into my lap.

Her lashes cast little shadows over her cheeks, and he eyes move slowly back and forth behind their lids.

Her lips are parted, jaw slack as little puffs of breath blow at a wisp of misplaced hair.

I reach down without even thinking, and gently put it back in place, trailing my finger over the shell of her ear. Her breathing pauses, and so does mine, but then she smiles and turns her face into my hand.

I giggle softly under my breath, moving my finger to trace her jaw. Her skin is so warm and smooth.

The movie no longer holds any interest to me; all my attention is on my friend's face and her hitching breath as I gently touch her lips.

They are a gentle swell, full and pink, and recently moistened. Her eyes flutter slightly, and then flicker open.

Her lips part slightly.

"Shh," I whisper before she can say anything.

My fingertips move upward, tracing the ridges of her nose and curve of her brow. She stares at me the entire time, an unintelligible emotion boring into me.

I don't know what I'm doing, or why; I just want to touch her. And she lets me, holding perfectly still.

Her eyelids flicker, and then close when I sweep my thumb across the underside of her eyes and caress her cheek.

And then I lay back into the couch and turn my attention back to the television, feeling more confused than I've ever been.

I can feel Leah's eyes on my face for the longest time before she turns into me and falls back asleep. I let out a breath.

I don't know why I did that.

* * *

 **A/N: Your guys' reviews make me so happy and eager to update!**

 **To answer a question, yes, the Cullens will make an appearance. If fact, they show up in the next chapter so hurrah to that. Spoilsports, ruining the surprise... Anyway, review!**

 **~Silver~**


	16. Chapter 16

Crushing Gravity

Chapter 16

"I don't understand," I sigh, leaning my head tiredly against the window to Jacob's car. "Why are we going to Renesmee's house? She barely spoke one word to me."

Kim leans forward from Jared's lap in the back seat, careful not to brush against me. Everyone by now knows that I'll snap at them if they touch me.

"Renesmee is part of the pack, same as me or you ore Emily or Claire. The Cullens want to have a cookout to get to know the pack better," she tells me, leaning back as her boyfriend starts to speak.

"We've been on better terms with them since winter, but there is still some tension because of the species difference and the resent split."

This only serves to confuse me more.

"They know what you guys are?"

Leah glances at me from the mirror with a bit of shock. "Oh, right; I haven't told you yet. The Cullens are vampires."

My head swims with the new knowledge. I should have known. I mean, vampires, the _Cullens_ actually, were _in_ the history of the La Push wolves, so of course they're real too.

"Right. Of course they are."

Emily touches the back of my seat. "Are you okay, honey," she asks. That's what she calls me now, because she feels awkward calling me the same name as her fiancé.

"I didn't sleep well last night," I answer, thinking she's asking because of my drooping eyes.

Leah shoots me a concerned look.

"No, it's just, you're taking all this supernatural stuff really well. I keep expecting you to freak out at one point."

"Me too," Kim chimes. "I've had a crush on Jared for the longest time, and when he finally told me, I ran and locked myself in my room for a week."

"Guys, really, if one creature that's not supposed to be real, is real, then wouldn't it make sense for there to be others?" I can see Kim shrug but Emily's reaction is lost behind the seat. "Now what's this about a split in the pack?"

Sam rumbles slightly from underneath his fiancé.

"Back when Nessy was born, Jacob broke away from his pack to become his own alpha. I wanted to...eliminate an unknown variable, and he went to protect her. Leah and Seth left as well, and it split the pack back when it had fewer numbers."

I look back at Leah, trying to imagine her fighting against these people to protect a newborn Nessy.

Wait.

"You wanted to kill a baby?!" I whirl in my seat to glare past my headrest.

Sam frowns at me, looking deeply unhappy about the question.

A warm hand rests on my knee, drawing my attention back to my best friend.

"No one knew how Nessy was going to be. She's half vampire, half human, and she was growing at an extraordinary rate. Nessy, the little girl you know, is less than a year old. Vampires are things we protect our people from, but a half vampire is...unknown. She could have been an even bigger threat."

I huff and turn to face out the window. She was still just a baby. All are unknown and have the potential to turn out to be serial killers.

"So what happened to the split in the pack?"

Leah shrugs, turning the car onto a barely noticeable road through the trees.

"I'm still technically part of Jacob's pack."

The trees open up to reveal a towering white house, looking more like a mansion. Some foster kids get adopted to rich families like this, and are showered with love and toys. Some of them are strict and send you back if you take one step out of line.

I wonder which kind of family this one would be. A family of perfects?

I open my door as Leah climbs out, and she's holding my hand the moment she is by my side.

The rest of the pack is already here, wrestling on the perfectly cut grass or lounging in chairs.

There a few people a don't know, and two of them, a male and female, come over with broad smiles.

"Welcome," he greets, and turns his attention to me. "You must be Samantha. I am Carlisle and this is my wife Esme."

I ignore his offered hand like I always do.

"It's just Sam." I reply with as polite a smile as I can manage.

He is absolutely beautiful, even I notice this, and deathly pale with golden eyes. They all are. All eight of them.

"Of course," he responds, letting his hand drop to his side. "We are starting the grill now so please enjoy yourself until the food is ready."

He waves to the group of socializing people, and I grow awkward. I'm not good at talking to people for an extended period of time.

Regardless, Leah drags me over to introduce me to everyone, chest all puffed out and looking happy.

After a while, I branch off from Leah, a little overwhelmed with the talk I don't know they are referring to, so I head toward the edges of the party to lean against a tree.

"Don't like these things much either." I jump and turn fast to a pale figure I hadn't noticed under the tree next to me. "Too many smells."

This vampire is much stiffer than the others, not bulky like the one, but more of a soldier stance. His wavy blond hair can almost be mistaken for brown in the shadows.

He regards me curiously as my heart continues to race.

Him being a vampire has nothing to do with it; I know he feeds off animals. I'm just naturally set on edge when I'm in a secluded area with a male. Yes, I've accepted I have psychological problems, and maybe PTSD, but there's not much I can do about it.

The party seems so far away now, a distant buzz.

"You don't have to be afraid of me darlin,'" he drawls, a southern twang coloring his speech. "I'm in control."

"I know," I answer honestly, making an effort to calm my nerves. I don't want to offend him with my own psyche problems. "I'm Sam."

"Jasper," he responds, not coming forward to offer his hand like most people. Maybe it makes him just as uncomfortable as me.

I lean back into the trunk, feeling awkward but more at ease.

"So you're Leah's imprint?"

"What's an imprint?" I ask.

"Ah," he looks uncomfortable again. "Never mind."

The silent drags on, and it doesn't look like he's going to say anything else, so I turn back to the party to watch.

Most of the boys are immersed in a game of soccer, or maybe football, kicking a checkered ball around so fast my human eyes can hardly follow it, and randomly tackling the person who has it.

Quil is brooding next to a fire pit about having to leave Claire home tonight because it's past her bed time.

Jacob is with Nessy and a brunette haired vampire who might be her mother. Seth is with Embry, chatting with another vampire that had to be her father.

The bronze haired boy is already staring at me when I turn my attention to him, not even paying care to the conversation. It's intense and reading, like he's looking into me and searching for all my secrets. It feels almost...violating.

Well he can't have them, I think venomously. Every part of my life is controlled by someone else, every part of me has been taken by someone else, I _need_ something that is completely mine, even if it is just my secrets.

His eyes widen, probably because I started glaring at him.

 _Sammy_ , Lyla sighs. _He's just looking at you. No one knows unless you tell them. You should tell someone._

Ha! Good try, Lyla, but you've been trying to convince me of that since I was eight.

It won't change anything. When the Fullers finally get tired of me and kick me out, I'll just be sent to some other nice family that can't stand me, or a pedophile that can't get enough of me.

I look away from the boy's horrified expression, searching for the only reason I'm here. Leah is wondering around, looking lost and searching for someone.

Her eyes land on me, and her face immediately brightens. She starts her way over, glancing at Jasper before taking my hand.

"Want to get out of here for a bit?" She asks, and my body relaxes completely.

"Sure."

She leads me farther into the woods, away from the sounds of people having a good time.

I lean into her, trusting her completely to guide me as my eyes fall closed.

She's so comfortable, her smell so comforting. It's strange how my chest physically aches in longing (because that's what it is) even as her warm arms are wrapped around me.

"You've still been having nightmares?" She asks, and I open my eyes.

We've stopped walking, so I'm half in the shade of a pine.

"Yeah."

It's a beautiful night; it couldn't be more perfect. The sky is as clear as I've ever seen it, with a dusting of stars bright and glimmering in the night's abyss.

A full moon looks large and full, or mostly full, and silver bathes parts of the ground in its unearthly glow.

Leah stands in one of these pools of light, looking like a dark huntress.

It's not the first time I'd thought her very beautiful, but it's the first time that I've _felt_ it. It's a knowledge deep in my bones, a small simmering that sneaks through my veins.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asks concerned, brows pulling together.

I honestly have no idea of what she's talking about. My mind seems foggy, like when I take my medication, and the world doesn't seem like the world I'm used to. It seems surreal, but not quite detached.

I want too... I just... I want...

I'm very aware of my sudden movement, my fingers grazing a glowing cheek, and then lips are against mine for the second time in my life.

The kiss is very soft, very inexperienced, and her lips are still parted from whatever she was about to say.

My eyes snap open and I back off quickly, embarrassment painful.

"I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have- I didn't mean-"

Her wide surprised eyes soften at my humiliation, and she gently turns my chin up. One hand winds around my waist, holding me to her gently enough that I could easily break it, and lowers her face to mine.

Leah is much more experienced, easily molding her lips to mine in a slow, lingering kiss that leaves me dizzy and breathless, not just because I forgot I need air.

She only pulls back a millimeter before she's leaning in again, pressing more firmly and wordlessly coaching me on how to move my lips and how much pressure to use, until I'm meeting her in her movements.

Fire burns behind my eyelids, setting my skin alight. My stomach is doing that flip flopping thing that I had originally connected to throwing up.

Yeah, I was an idiot.

All too soon, Leah doesn't come back in to meet me. Her forehead is pressed into mine, our noses bumping occasionally, and her breath hits my chin irregularly.

It brings attention to my own inhalation, and I'm surprised how hard it is to catch my breath.

I slowly pry my eyes open to look at my best friend, but her eyes are still closed and a large smile pulls at those deliciously smooth lips.

"You'll be my girlfriend now, right?" She whispers, still sounding breathless. And she opens her eyes to stare hopefully at me. "I mean, you can't kiss me like that and expect me to just forget about it."

"Okay," my own voice sounds different to my ears.

"Yeah?"

A smile splits my face. "Yeah."

And it just wouldn't leave my face; believe me, I tried.

Even as we went back and ate, sneaking glances at each other, and even as she drove back the reservation well past one o'clock, and even as she brushed a lingering kiss on my cheek at the door before heading back to the car.

She still has to take Kim home who is sagging tiredly against the window.

Brady, who had rode back with us and is now holding the door open, waiting for me, gives me his own broad grin.

My smile doesn't leave even as Mrs. Fuller calls to me from the kitchen before I can make my way to my room.

I don't stop to think about why she might still be up, or the fact that her voice wavered and sounded hesitant.

I just skip into the kitchen, happier than I've ever been.

But it all comes crashing down the moment I see Julia, because I know what that means.

Then my eyes shift past her, landing on the third person in the room who slowly stands as I freeze in the doorway.

At first, I'm confused because it's like I'm looking in a mirror.

Bright emerald green eyes stare wearily back at me, matching my feelings exactly, and the long black hair is chaotic and wavy down her back.

But she's older than me, her face more mature in that of a grown woman, and a slightly bigger bust size.

Tears leap to my eyes, and teeter dangerously before spilling over.

"Lyla?" My voice cracks.

* * *

 **A/N: Heheheheheh, so how much do you hate me right now? On a scale from one to ten, how much do you want to hunt me down, string a noose around my neck, and hang me from a bridge?**

 **Good cliffy, huh? Please review!**

 **~Silver~**


	17. Chapter 17

Crushing Gravity

Chapter 17

"Sammy," she hesitantly steps toward me. "You've gotten so big..."

It's a shock to hear that voice outside of my own head again, and right then I know that she's real.

"Lyla," I croak again, lunging into her arms, sobbing. So many bad things have happened since we were separated.

Her hug is familiar, warm and constricting, but I've missed her so much. How many years have I wished for her to find me, to come and take me back? To say, 'let's go home' and then take my hand and lead me out the door.

I'm crying and sniffling, the first time in forever, and she's really here, squeezing me in one of her tight, tight, hugs that I used to love.

I finally calm down enough to break away, but it looks like Lyla isn't quite ready for that, so I wait patiently until she is. Normally I would freak out, but she's my sister and she's _here_ and she came _back_.

Why would she come back?

"Lyla," I sniff when she finally pulls back to hold me at arms length. "Why are you here?" I finally remember the other people in the room and turn to my social worker. She looks stunned. She's never seen me cry before. "Why is she here?"

"Sammy," Lyla draws my attention back to her with a single uttered word. She takes a glance at Julia before guiding me into the living area like this is her own home, and sits me on the couch.

"Sammy, when you left...the University accepted me back in with my full scholarship. I graduated and, Sammy, I'm a doctor."

I grin for her. It was always her dream to be a doctor, to help people.

"And," she hesitates, "I'm married now." She holds out her hand for me to admire her ring, and I do so sadly.

She's been so fortunate since I was taken away. It looks like she moved on completely. So again, "What are you doing here, Lyla? Why are you here?"

She smiles at me again. "I'm here for you. Sammy, I've got a steady job back in California, a good house, good income; you can come back with me. Mathew is okay with it, and we want you to come live with us."

At first I'm ecstatic and then...a little less so. What about Leah?

She's my first friend, my first girlfriend; can I really just leave her behind? I was expecting to have to anyway. But I was assuming to not have a _choice_. Would I choose to leave, to go live with my sister?

I've wanted this for the longest time.

"Sammy," Lyla stutters suddenly, like she already anticipates me saying no and is trying to convince me otherwise. "I know I made a mistake sending you away," what? "But I was just laid off, I couldn't afford food on the table-and I- I miss you so much-"

"You..." My voice is horse, barely a whisper, but she still immediately falls silent. "Sent me away? You called them? You wanted to get ride of me?"

Lyla pales as my voice steadily rises, and my out-of-body feeling snaps into anger.

"I-I thought you knew..."

She's the reason? This whole time I've been blaming the government; they _took_ me away, but Lyla _sent_ me?

"You-y-you-you don't know what they did to me! You subjected me to that! What-what they did- they- how could you?!" I scream, leaping to my feet. She stands up as well, quickly.

"I'm so sorry-" her voice cracks and she reaches out to me.

She's- she's just like them. Doesn't want me so sends me away. Doesn't _want_ me.

Well I don't want her.

She's suddenly too close, so I do the only thing I ever do when I feel threatened. I shove her.

She falls too easily; she wasn't expecting it, I've grown used to shoving werewolves, and she hits the ground hard.

I've never hit her before. I've never hurt her. But she never hurt me before- until she sent me away. Everything that I've been through, every beating, every rape- it's _her_ fault.

"Get out!" I scream. "Get out, get out, get out! You don't know what they _did_!"

She stands slowly, crying, and reaches out for me again.

"Sammy-"

"No! Don't touch me! I _hate_ you!"

She sobs, my sister, my conscience, and I turn and run to my room, pushing past Julia and Mrs. Fuller and Brady, who had come out of his room to see what all the yelling was for.

Lyla, the one in my head, is dead silent. Which is good because I hate her too.

My door slams and I lock it, sliding down to the floor, huffing and trying to catch my breath.

It feels like I've run a marathon and I'm still so angry.

I slam my fists into the floor and pain spikes all the way up to my elbow. I do it again, and again, and then leap to my feet, turn, and punch the wall.

The wall gives slightly; my knuckles split once more.

I punch again and again until there is a sizable hole and blood from both my knuckles are being left behind.

Only then do I cry, collapsing to the ground, because my hands hurt and my own sister didn't want to keep me.

She was the only one I was sure would want me.

I stuff my thumb in my mouth and it acts as a pacifier, muffling my cries.

I fall asleep there, head resting on my knees and tears stinging my bleeding knuckles as they drip onto them.

...

The sound of knocking drags me out of the grog of sleep. My eyes feel itchy, but when I go to rub them, my hands burn.

My sluggish mind takes in the swollen and bloody knuckles in confusion, before making a few connections. I'm too tired to feel self-pity, so I clamber to my feet and swing the door open without even thinking about who could be on the other side.

Leah gasps as soon as she sees me, and rushes forward to cup my cheeks. I can just imagine the tear stains on them.

"'M fine," I mumble, leaning into her touch.

Her sharp eyes immediately spot the new hole in my wall, and then dart down to my hands. They are shaky and painful every time a finger twitches. There is a constant stinging sensation that is both familiar and different.

"Oh, Sam," she sighs, carefully lifting my hands to kiss the palms.

She gently tugs me to the bathroom down the hall, kicking it closed behind her, and sits me on the toilet seat after flipping it down.

I feel like I'm young again, watching Lyla pull out rubbing alcohol from under the sink, and kneeling down in front of me, pushing my bangs out of my face and asking, "did you win?"

She never scolded me for fighting, just cleaned me up afterward and asked, 'did you win.'

My hands shake as Leah gently pours the antiseptic over the split skin, and then rubs some sort of goo over them.

When she's done, she lays both hands on my knees and looks up at me with the most earnest eyes I've ever seen. At least _she_ wants me.

"Are you okay?"

In answer, I lean forward slightly and she meets me in a soft, lingering press of lips.

And I'm slightly more okay after that, especially when she gives me a goofy smile.

"Let's go on a date," she says, suddenly standing up and offering a hand.

"Alright," I shouldn't feel so happy right now, what with what happened a few hours ago, but Leah just has that effect on me.

I can't even remember how I could have been so angry at her the first day we met. I know she knocked me down, and spilt my own lunch on me, and then hit me in the head with a door, but...it's Leah.

I'm surprised when she walks me outside and Jacob's car is in the driveway.

"You planned this, didn't you?" I smile as she holds the passenger door open for me.

"I've been planning this the moment I knew I liked you. It's only now that I thought you might say yes."

I giggle to myself as she jogs around to the driver's side.

"So where are we going?"

"Well, I was actually thinking about going to Port Angelus. Have a late lunch, catch a movie, wander around, and then dinner. Is that okay?"

"That's great," I smile, making myself comfortable for the longer than normal drive.

It's a little later in the day than I'm normally woken up, so we get to a nice little cafe around one o'clock. It's nice in the fact that it's just not the one on the reservation. As you can guess, there aren't really any options to choose from on the small res.

"So when's your birthday?" Leah asks after she had eaten half the menu.

I'm slower in eating and only on the second end of my sandwich.

"July 14; when's yours?"

"Mine already past back in December. The third. Are you doing anything for your birthday? It's only a few weeks away."

I shake my head and take the time to finish swallowing.

"I never do anything for it, but I guess this year it'd be fun to spend it with you."

Her answering smile is blinding and I already know that, right then, she's starting to plan something. I can't wait to see what she comes up with.

"Are you finished?" She nods to my empty plate, and getting a confirmation, stands up to pay for it. Apparently that's something that you do when you date.

The movie she chooses for us is an action one, with an international spy trying to find out the terrorist plot before it happens. It's actually quite interesting.

The only part I didn't like was when he started to have sex with the foreign agent. It didn't make sense and it made me feel awkward. I didn't know what to do with myself so just stared down at my popcorn until it was over. They spent an uncomfortable amount of time on it.

Leah holds my hand the entire time, warming my entire body with how conscious and careful she is with my knuckles.

We do walk around for a bit, ducking into stores and looking at silly knickknacks and reading all the goofy cards in a hallmark store.

It's really fun, and it stuns me to look at a clock as see that it's dinnertime.

Leah takes me to a fancier restaurant than the cafe, one with dim lighting and impeccably dressed waiters.

The formalness of it is uncomfortable at first, until I look at my date and see her in even more tattered clothes than me, slumping in her usual unladylike way. So I relax and act like I always do, even if it is inappropriate for this type of restaurant.

Even as we are driving back home, I don't want the night to end, and neither does Leah, because she drops the car off at Jacob's and we walk down to the beach hand in hand.

"So what happened the other night?" Leah asks, caressing my bandaged knuckles with her thumb.

"I don't want to talk about it," I sigh. No, I don't want to think about it. I'm happier not thinking about it. I haven't been happy in years.

She doesn't want to let it go, and if it were me, I wouldn't either.

"You hurt yourself."

"I was angry."

"You were crying."

"I was sad too."

She pulls me to a stop, the grey ocean just a background noise to our conversation.

"Why were you sad?" I suddenly don't want her to know about my sister. Like, maybe if she somehow found out, she'd see that I'm not good to want after all. That my own sister didn't want me, so I must be bad to care for. "Brady said there was a lady at the house...that you started yelling at her..."

I look up at her, and my eyes suddenly burn again, like last night. "Please?" I ask.

She nods immediately, tugging me into a hug. "Okay."

And she doesn't push anymore.

* * *

 **A/N: So what do we think of Lyla? Is she sincere or a big plotting nitwit? You think Sam should forgive her?**

 **~Silver~**


	18. Chapter 18

Crushing Gravity

Chapter 18

We are kissing. I don't know how it started or what led up to it; all I know is that I'm on fire. I'm not even sure how I ended up on her lap because I vaguely remember that we were standing.

But I don't care about that right now because she is pressing her body closer to me, gliding her mouth over mine, and I know that I'm not that good at it, but I've- we've- been getting better. We've been practicing.

Just not quite like this. It's still slow, and gentle, but something about it seems more intense. She sinks her teeth into my bottom lip, tugging softly.

It's new; I don't know how I'm supposed to respond to it, but gasping is apparently the right thing because now her tongue is brushing mine. It twists and glides and strokes and caresses.

A noise, a little squeak I've never heard before, comes from my throat.

The tingling _down there_ is starting again, but I can't clench my legs closed because Leah is there. It's uncomfortable, so I shift slightly just to see if it's my position causing it. Doing that both helps and makes it worse.

She lays back on the bed, tugging my waist as she falls to making me follow.

The move causes my hips to shift again, electricity clenching my stomach, and my eyes fly open in surprise. My hands flail when I fall.

One hand finds the bed to brace against, but the other lands on a soft round mound that fits perfectly in my palm.

She gasps, arching into my hand, and I feel a faint throb in my sex.

I freak. I mean, I literally flip out, flying off my girlfriend.

"I'm sorry!" I gasp, distancing myself as quickly as possible.

She props herself onto her elbow to look at me. Amusement quirks her lips in a lopsided smile and her hair is messy.

"It's okay," she tells me, tilting her head to rest it on her propped shoulder. "You can touch me wherever you want."

Heat floods my cheeks and my core tingles again, but her matter of fact statement makes me uneasy.

Is she expecting sex?

She sits up, folding her legs crisscross, and reaches under my pillow. When she put something there, I will never know.

"Come here," she says with a warm smile. I go immediately, sitting across from her on the bed. "I got something for you."

She fiddles with something in her lap, looking suddenly nervous, and starts to hand it to me.

The door swings open, banging against the wall. "What ever you are going, stop doing it because there is an innocent boy in the room!"

My face flushes at said innocent boy, who is covering his eyes with both hands, but still peeking through his fingers.

"Awe, you're not even doing anything." He's still grinning as he drops his hand.

"Get out of here Brady!" Leah snarls, sounding every bit the werewolf she is.

"Relax, relax," he raises his palms toward her, "I did have a reason for coming in here." He turns to me. "Mom says there's someone on the phone for you."

My slight amusement vanishes. "Ignore it."

"But she says that it's-"

"I know exactly who it is, and I said ignore it. Tell her I'm not home, or that I died for all I care."

"Okay, okay," he grumbles. "Geez, I swear that all you women must be on that time of month."

"Brady!" Leah growls, chucking a pillow at his head.

He slams the door shut and the pillow harmlessly falls against it.

With the matter over, I turn back to Leah who is still glowering at the closed door, so I lean over and kiss the edge of her jaw.

She startles and then smiles at me, thrusting the black box she was holding, into my hands.

"Happy birthday," she tells me affectionately.

My pleasant feelings turn to awed when I open the obvious jewelry box.

It's a necklace, and not one of those ones with the delicate chain that will break with one firm tug, but with a black leather cord and a flat charm about the size of a quarter.

The charm is made of silver, and it's engraved with the intricate scene of a wolf and moon and forest and cliff.

My breath catches at the beauty of it.

"Leah..." I look up at her and she has such a soft expression.

"Do you like it?"

"Yeah," I nod, and crawl forward to hug her around the neck. "I really do. It's so pretty."

She turns me, spreading her legs for me to sit between, and plucks the necklace out of the box with a delicacy she's always careful to have around me.

She's never rough or forceful, except for those few times she was scared for me (and even then, she's gotten better).

She's always patient with me, even when I get pissed off about something and start cursing at her and shoving her. I know I can't hurt her, which is why I do it- because people pay more attention when you use, or try to use, force. They start to take you seriously.

When she does get angry, which I've only ever made her once before, she takes a step back, clenches her fists, and takes deep breaths until it passes.

Anyone else she will lash out at, like Brady just a few minutes ago, or they would fight as a big dog until they calm down.

She's not like that with me. She's attentive, but never in a bad way.

Her warm fingers ghost the back of my neck as the clips the necklace, and then places an affectionate kiss on my shoulder before resting her head there.

"I love you," she whispers. The words send tingles up my spine. "I know it's so soon, but I do. I love you Sam."

I sigh, tilting my head back to rest on her shoulder, closing my eyes.

"Say it again?" I request.

"I love you."

"Really?"

"More than anything."

"...I've never been in love before, or even liked anyone, so I don't know what it feels like..."

"It's okay."

"But I think I love you."

I feel her breath catch and then speed up.

"Really?"

"You're the most important thing in my life," I answer honestly.

"Say it again; say that you love me again."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"It hurts. Why does it hurt?"

She's silent, pausing in her absent ministrations of rubbing circles into my belly. She starts again after a moment.

"I don't know."

"...I love you."

She presses her mouth into my shoulder, and I can feel her smile. She kisses it and then wraps her arms more firmly around me to drag me backwards so she can lean against the wall. Her hold becomes gentle again and she places another kiss on my neck before relaxing into the wall.

I feel drowsy as well after just eating lunch and with her warm body heat pressing into my back. Well, not really drowsy, but lazy.

For the first time, it doesn't feel like I have to move around. I feel content to just sit there in my girlfriend's arms.

* * *

 **A/N: So, just a little filler type thing. And I have a question that I would honestly like an answer to. Should I make this rated M? Like, you know, put M rated content in it?**

 **Of course it wont be for a while and I know that some of this stuff is already on the edge of being M but, I don't know, I'd just like your thoughts on that. And I promise that it wound't be anything _bad_ happening to her if that's what you might be worried about.**

 **Anyway, just let me know. We have a little bit but this story is getting close to the end.**

 **~Silver~**


	19. Chapter 19

Crushing Gravity

Chapter 19

What is it that makes kids listen to adults? If told to go to their room, they'll stomp and whine and complain, but they'll do it. They didn't have to. Even if they get their game boy taken away, why would they even hand it over?

Because they were told to. Why would they listen?

Maybe it's some great conspiracy that when you're born, you're injected with a shot that makes you brain automatically follow the orders of an adult, if pressed enough.

Because I don't want to do this. I want to absolutely refuse, to just slam the door in her face. But I don't, because something in me won't let me.

"Samantha," Julia says from the door again, arms crossed and voice in that stern 'I'm serious' tone. "Get up. We're going to lunch."

I don't want to. I don't want her to be standing in the doorway of my room, I don't want her in my house, because I claim it now, and I don't want her to talk to me about my sister.

So, and this is the part I'm questioning, why am I reluctantly rolling off the bed and tugging on shoes?

I'm angry as she leads me out the door of my own home, stomping with just a bit more force than necessary and clenching my fists in my pockets.

I climb into Julia's rental car, wondering why she's even still in this wet town. Doesn't she have any other kids to social work?

We stop at the diner, which is not surprising considering it's the only one.

We sit in silence, staring at each other across the table, both frowning. My eyes are set in a glare.

"Hey Sam," Kim says, striding over in her waitress apron and wielding her pen like it's a weapon. She had started working here several weeks ago, and it's still somehow exciting for her.

I change my expression to a slight smile as she stops beside me, and looks curiously at the unfamiliar face across from me. Usually I'm with Leah or Brady.

"Who is this?" She smiles politely at my company.

"Julia," I scowl.

Julia's hand shoots out immediately, offering to shake like a well trained dog.

"I'm Samantha's social worker; are you one of her friends?"

My scowl deepens.

"Yeah, it's good to meet you," Kim says politely, though I can see the concern in her eyes. "Is everything alright?"

I glare at my social worker, challenging her to reveal anything else.

"Everything is just fine," Julia says without even glancing at me. "Are you our waitress?"

"Oh- yes!" Kim flushes in embarrassment. "Sorry, what can I get you?"

I order more than I can eat, knowing full well that Julia is going to pay for it. I haven't been very happy with her since bringing my sister here. I'm sure she knew that Lyla sent me away.

"Did you get your sister's gift? She told me that she sent you one," she says once Kim hurries away with our orders.

"She did," I fold my arms.

"What was it? Did you like it?" She presses.

"Don't know; I threw it in the trash."

She sighs, rubbing her temples.

"Sam, you should talk to her. It was a long time ago. She only did what she thought was best for you."

Her words only make me angrier, but I had been working on controlling it, and I just grit my teeth.

"She was my first Foster home," I say shakily. "She was the first one to not want me."

"She wanted you, Sam," Julia insists, the earnestness in her eyes showing me that she really believes it.

The anger at my social worker calms. I shouldn't blame her for what Lyla did; she wasn't even there. She's not my first social worker; she's just the one that stayed the longest. The one that cares the most.

"But not enough, right? Not enough to keep me?" I ask softly, turning my head to stare out the widow.

Her own voice is softer now that I'm not openly hostile. "She did what she thought was best for you, no matter what she wanted."

"Nothing could have been worse," I whisper lowly, too quiet to be heard. "I don't want to go live with her. I don't want anything to do with her- she should have just stayed gone." I say more firmly, turning my eyes back to Julia.

She sighs. "You should talk to her. She really misses you."

"No." I set my jaw, mentally challenging her to see if she'll make me.

Her eyes connect to something over my shoulder, and she relaxes in defeat. "Fine. Just think about it."

Kim appears next to me with our orders of food, smiling at me as she sets it down.

"So, Sam, where's Leah?"

"She had to..." I glance at Julia, "run with Wolfe. Sam got on her about actually doing it instead of visiting me," I pout. I loved strolling through the woods with Leah as Wolfe.

Kim laughs. "I was wondering when he was going to get on her about that; she's been doing it for months."

"Who's Leah?" Julia asks, looking interested in the conversation. She's never seen me have a friend in any of my foster homes.

"My girlfriend," I answer, and a thrill goes through me. It's so strange to say that. Girlfriend. I grin at her.

Julia chokes, placing her turkey wrap down and coughing into her arm. She sips her water, and then coughs some more before looking up at me.

"Girlfriend?"

"Yeah," I shrug, playing off the sudden stirring of irrational fear. I don't know why it would start now of all times as I study her face.

Her expression smooths, and she smiles. "Congratulations, Sam."

My muscles relax. "Thanks."

Kim draws my attention before she goes to the new customers that just came in. "You're coming to the cookout at the Cullen's Wednesday, right?"

"Of course," I smile at her and she turns to go.

I eat slowly, glad that I had ordered Leah's favorites. What ever I don't eat, she will happily wolf down latter after her patrol.

...

I've grown used to the discomfort of watching conversations happen around me. Grown used to staying quiet, or awkwardly answering a question directed at me.

Talk between the vampires and werewolves is interesting, and easily holds my interest, but the intimate atmosphere still makes me feel...weird.

It's not exactly something I can describe; I'm just tense without knowing why, uncomfortable, and a little sick feeling.

Leah's hand in mine is the only reason I'm sitting in one of the lawn chairs, and I don't have it in me to disrupt her relaxed leaning into my legs from the ground.

I notice Jasper's curious look from beside the tiniest vampire, and the bronze haired one, Edward's, expressionless stare, as I grow even tenser.

Something in my chest clenches, making it a little difficult to breathe. There is this...urge, a need, for something, but I don't know what I need to do. It's almost like when I have to run, or pace, or just move.

I just- I- I need-

Leah's head snaps up to look at me. "Sam?"

"I think I need some air," I whisper, standing up and moving out from behind her. I stop her when she starts to stand, by placing a hand on her shoulder. "No, you stay here, I'll only be a minute."

She reluctantly settles back on the ground. "Okay; you won't go far?"

"I'll stay in sight of the fire," I reassure her, liking how she didn't command me not to go far, and just expressed her hopes of it.

Even as I make it to the shelter of trees, I still feel odd. The urgent something that I need to do is almost painful and I want to cry as I gasp in a few breaths.

Calm suddenly envelopes me, hitting me like a wave that instantly relaxes my back.

"Are you all right there, darlin'?" A familiar southern twang asks, and I turn to see Jasper had followed me. He stands a good distance away; enough that it's not uncomfortable.

"I don't know," I answer honestly. "I don't feel right."

"Well, you were just having a panic attack."

"That's what that was?" It didn't feel like my normal panic attacks, and there wasn't really any reason for me to have it. I was just listening to the conversations. "Thank you for checking on me, but I'm fine now," I tell him.

I feel like I should be shaky, or weird, but there is only that strange calm.

"Alright," he dips his head in farewell and turns back toward the fire I can see through the trees.

I take a few deep breaths, turning my head up to the dripping foliage. It's a nice evening for Forks, with mostly clear skies and warm air, though the humidity frizzes my hair. It's actually strange that every time I've been to the Cullen's, it's been a really nice day nature wise.

"That's because Alice can see the future."

I jump at the voice, all muscles locking as I turn to Renesmee's father. Edward's presence is very uncomfortable; I don't like the way he looks at me, like he is looking at my very core of being.

It makes me feel naked. I hate being naked in front of anyone.

"What do you mean?" I ask, slowly processing his words.

"Alice. She can see the future based on people's decisions; things like weather are a little more solid. We plan these events accordingly."

"Oh," I blink, unsure of myself again or what I'm supposed to say to that. "Okay." Or what I'm supposed to say at all to him.

I don't know him. I don't want to be out here alone with him. My eyes dart back to the fire where everyone else is so absorbed with their own conversations.

Edward's slight smile drops abruptly, and he leans against a tree. It almost looks casual the way he does it, and deliberately unthreatening.

"No one here would hurt you like that, you know. The way those men did."

It's painful how fast and hard every muscle in my body tenses.

It's sounds way to close to knowing what happened to me. He can't have my secrets; they're mine.

"I'm sorry," he apologizes. "But I think you need to talk to someone about what you've gone through. Leah maybe, or even a professional."

How does he know? No one ever knows. What do I do Lyla? I find myself reaching out to the voice in my head, but as she has been for weeks, she's silent. Somehow, the Lyla trapped in my head left me too.

"You're insane," I drawl, relaxing as a decision is made. "Try speaking in English because I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I...know what those men did to you." My mind flashes through my foster homes, more than I can remember, more men than I can remember, of fists and hands and heavy weight pressing on me, into me, and it's not happening, not happening, not actually happened, never actually happened.

But I know it did. I still feel the ghosts of their touch and old pain and confusion.

Edward has that look of horror again, staring at me with suddenly black eyes, and I cross my arms defensively in front of my chest. I'm suddenly very tired.

It's all in the past, why won't it just go away?

"You need to deal with it, talk about it. If you ever want to move forward or actually," he grimaces, "be with Leah intimately, you need to tell her. She has to know."

So, I'll be okay. Because I don't want... _that_ with Leah. I don't know how people think sex feels good; it hurts. It hurts a lot.

And I'm not a masochist, so why would I want it?

I want to punch Edward, because I don't want to think about this, ever, and somehow he knows.

"No one needs to know," I murmur, and walk back in the direction of the cookout. I pass Edward on the way, keeping my eyes intently forward, and don't acknowledge him.

I give Leah a halfhearted smile as I sit back in my lawn chair, and it becomes a little more real when she takes my hand and kisses my palm.

Still, I don't feel all that right.

* * *

 **A/N: Okay, you guy's made me feel so much better with what I want to do with the story, so thank you. I know that it's a little on the edge of M rating already, and I've decided that I'm going to change it.**

 **So this is a warning to those reading the story, but isn't following it: The rating will be changed to M by the end of the week or next update. It will stay T until then.**

 **Thanks for reading and please review!**

 **~Silver~**


	20. Chapter 20

Crushing Gravity

Chapter 20

Ever since I was little, I loved my eyes. I took so much pride in their unique color that is worn on all the females of my family.

I would stare at them in the mirror for hours, seeing my sister and my mother in them. I would look at all the similar characteristics we all shared, and search hard for my father.

I never could find him. I never even knew him because he died shortly after I was born. Mom said he was a firefighter, and one night, one of the fires won.

Even now, as I trace my eyes slowly over my features, I can only see my mother, though she is now just a fuzzy image in my memory.

My cheeks are tinged pink as I meet my own eyes in the mirror, before I hesitantly trail them lower.

I take in my own skin, pink blush continuing all the way past my neck. I study the curve of my shoulders, the freckle I didn't know was on my collar, and the swell of my breasts. They stand erect with the chill air causing little bumps to sting my showing skin.

My gaze quickly flashes away, feeling embarrassed for looking. But then I drag my eyes back to look again, because I know it's stupid to have never studied my own body.

My nakedness is exposed for me to see in the fogged mirror, and it's smooth and flawless. It doesn't show the pain it had endured, or the bruising hits it's suffered.

It looks the way a body might be supposed to look.

I bring my hand up curiously, and gently touch the darker skin on my breast, and then lightly pinch it.

It doesn't feel any different than if I had pinched my arm. I don't understand the big deal about them; if anything, they've always just got in the way. And what is with men and grabbing breasts, squeezing them, pinching them?

What is the point of it?

I guess, with the short glimpse I had a while ago, Leah's were...kind of beautiful to look at. But even then, what's the point of ruining what might be nice to look at, with a discoloration that doesn't belong?

...

I sigh contently, basking in the rare sunlight filtering through the open window. My legs swing through the air, before bumping softly into the wooden cabinets below.

The marble countertop is warming underneath me and the house is a strange stilled quiet. The only sounds are my heels hitting wood and the rustle of the trees in the world outside.

There is a sudden short knock on the front door before it swings open, and a familiar smile is directed to me.

"Did you know that I'm in love?" I ask Leah when she pauses in the entranceway. Her eyes flash mischievously, and she takes deliberately slow steps toward me.

"Really?" She asks.

"Mhm, I absolutely love chocolate," I hum, sucking the remains of the sweet brown candy off my fingers.

I spread my legs as she caresses the cloth on my knees, so she can stand between them more comfortably.

She reaches past me and plucks a piece of candy from the wrapper and it disappears between her lips.

"I thought you've never been in love before," she teases.

"Well," I place my hands on her shoulders to hold her there, "now I have. Looks like you might have some competition."

Her teasing smile makes my entire body feel warm.

"Is that so?" Her fingers, so warm I can feel their heat through my jeans, trace small circles on my knees as she slowly tilts her head up towards me. We're about the same height in this position.

"Mhm."

The chocolate that I had claimed to love so much, tastes even better on her lips.

"Wait," I breathe, when I feel her start to pull away. "One more."

Leah immediately obliges, kissing me again. And then I ask for one more. And then again, and again, until we give up all pretenses that _that_ is the last one.

I tentatively tease her bottom lip, still wanting more, and they immediately part.

She makes the strangest noise in the back of her throat.

I only pull away, reluctantly, when I realize that I've forgotten to breathe again. My head feels dizzy and there is that familiar pleasant flip-flopping in my belly.

I only open my eyes halfway and the quick fluttering of skin over her pulse mesmerizes me.

Hesitantly, I trace my fingers over her shoulders and collarbone, feeling the smooth ridges of every curve, and allow my eyes to wonder lower.

She's always wearing very little, just a tank top and very short shorts. She says that it's easier because it's less to take off if she has to change into Wolfe quickly.

I trail my fingers lower to rest over her heart, and it amazes me how heard its pounding.

"It's so fast," I whisper, and I can hear the wonder in my own voice.

Leah's breathing hitches, and the flutter under my fingers skips several thrums, causing me to smile.

Her nose bumps my chin before she is pressing her lips to mine firmly, demandingly. And it feels so good.

One finger, just the very tip, makes slow circles over her racing heart. Her skin is so warm, and smooth, and I find that I really like to touch her. I like the little noises she makes when we kiss; I like the little moan she makes when I hesitantly run my thumb over the rise of her breast, even though the sound and action embarrasses me.

Her hands slide up my thighs before cupping my butt, and pulling me into her. I gasp into her mouth, as I have to clutch her neck and hook my legs behind her to keep from falling.

The whimper in my throat is shocking as she carries me blindly to the couch.

My back hits the cushions first, and then her weight, lightly pressing our chests together as the kiss deepens even more.

My legs fall unhooked as the first stirrings of panic seep in.

Not even a fraction of her weight is on me, just a brushing of riding clothes and skin, but it suddenly feels like gravity is crushing me.

I feel the heat of a body between my legs, pressing against my sex, and then I hear a deep male voice.

 _"You have the most beautiful eyes."_

 _"Take off your clothes."_

 _"This is for your own good."_

 _"Slut."_

 _"Don't tell anyone."_

 _"Sh sh shh, this will be our little secret."_

 _"Don't scream-"_

"No, stop it," I gasp, thrashing as hard as I can. The weight, the man, above me recoils as if I had hit him good. Maybe I can get away from this one.

"Stop it, please! Get the fuck off me you fucking pedophile!" I thrash some more, still feeling trapped. I roll sharply, and I fall from the bed, or couch, or wherever I am, and hit the wooden floor hard.

My breathing is coming in sharp panic-filled gasps as I scramble across the floor.

"S-Sam?"

The voice...it doesn't fit this scenario. It belongs to- why is she- I'm not actually-

"Leah?" I ask shakily as I look up at her position on the couch, still and looking as if her were struck. No, that's not the right word, she wolfs out whenever one of the guys hit her. She looks like she did when I yelled at her for touching me, only way worse with watery eyes and a horrified expression.

"Oh god," I gasp, curling my knees to my chest when I realize what I've done.

"Sam..." her voice wavers even worse than mine. "Have you... Has someone..." She takes a shaky breath. "Sam, has someone ever hurt you...?"

My eyes drop to my clenching hands. "A lot of people have-"

"No," there is a new steel in her voice, though it's somehow still gentle. "Has some touched you? Have you ever been raped?"

I flinch. "Oh god," I rasp again. What will she think of me now?

"Fuck," she whispers, scrambling off the couch to kneel in front of me. She briefly touches my cheek before thinking better of it and drawing back. "I thought...there were signs, and I suspected...but I never thought that could actually happen, not to you, not to my... When?" She asks so softly I could barely hear it.

"I was eight the first time it happened," my voice trembles as hard as my hands.

"The first time?" She croaks.

I shakily wipe my palms on my pants, secretly glad that she's not touching me right now. Other memories are just to close to the surface.

"I can't remember every man that's forced himself on me, or how many times. After the first few, it didn't seem to matter; I knew it was just going to happen again. I still fought as hard as I could, but I didn't get away very often." I close my eyes at the rumbling snarl Leah gives. "The homes that I went to... A lot of them weren't fostering me just because it was a good thing to do. I have pretty eyes," I smile ironically.

She gives I high-pitched whine that might come from wolf, and I look up just to check if she shifted. She didn't, but there are tears glassing in her eyes and her hands flutter helplessly over me.

She looks desperate to touch me, but after what she just learned, she's not sure that she should.

I reach out to brush my fingers against her cheek, and she leans into it. Tears I didn't know were gathering spill onto my cheek.

I lean forward and gently press my lips to hers, tasting the lingering chocolate and the added ingredient of salty tears.

"It's okay; I'm okay," I tell her, wondering if _that's_ the problem, or if it's something else. Something I wouldn't be able to deal with.

"...can I hold you?" She sounds so uncertain. I nod.

No one has ever _asked_ to touch me before; they just do it.

She scoots closer so she can comfortably wrap her arms around me, and lean me against her chest. My head fits perfectly in the crook of her neck.

"I love you Sam," she whispers, muscles tensing and relaxing like she's physically trying to keep herself from squeezing. It's makes me believe her words. "And I won't let anything like that happen to you ever again. I promise you that I will kill anyone that tries, and anyone that crosses my path that already has."

I relax into her at her words, trusting every word. She's a strong werewolf, and I know that she can follow through...as long as she never leaves me, or until it is times for the next Forster home.

For now though, I'm safe.

* * *

 **A/N: Well, damn... Now what?**

 **More to come. Review!**

 **~Silver~**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: So this chapter is kind of slow, but I think you guys will like it. Please let me know what you think, or what you suspect will happen, or anything at all.**

Crushing Gravity

Chapter 21

Her heart still beats faster than could be considered normal. I can feel it's strong stuttering against the tips of my fingers, and I drag them slowly across her skin, up to the curve of her neck, and then back down past her collarbone.

I shuffle closer, for the first time not liking the carefulness she holds me with.

"Leah," I hesitate, feeling her head pull back to look down at me resting in her arms. We had been just lying on the couch for almost a half hour now. "How can you still love me, after what you just learned?"

Her eyes widen at the question. "Nothing I will ever learn about you will make me love you any less. You are my entire world, Sam. I love you more than anything; more than I've ever loved anyone."

"But why?" I ask, looping my arms around her waist as if I could hold her there. As if, with just that question, she will come to her senses and see what I see. "I'm not a good person for you to love. I can't give you what I want."

"You already have," she insists calmly, removing her arm from behind my head to grab my face with both hands. "This. This is all I want. To hold you. To touch you." Her fingers splay across my cheeks, thumb absently brushing over my lips. I kiss it reflexively.

"I can't have sex with you," I warn her. "I wouldn't be able to."

Her frown is disbelieving and accusatory. "You think that matters to me?"

"It matters to everyone. Everyone wants it."

"I want _you_ , Sam. You're the only one I want because you're the only one I'm capable of wanting. I love you, and I don't care if this, me holding you like this right now, is all we have, because it's enough. _Because_ it's you. Do you understand?"

Her saying that she wants me- it terrifies me. But I already knew that somewhere in the back of my mind, didn't I? I knew that it was a possibility before I even kissed her. And even though what she said scares me...something else is there too. Some strange happiness stirring in my belly and making me feel warm.

"...I think so," I cover her hand with mine, holding it to my face and nuzzling into her palm. "I like to touch you," I murmur, "I like it when you touch me, too. But only you. Only you are allowed to touch me. I don't want anyone else."

"Exactly," she whispers, and slowly leans forward to place a gentle kiss on my nose. I kiss her chin, the only part I can get to at the moment, in response.

Her arms settle back around me and my hand falls back to her chest to continue mapping out the exposed skin.

"I..." My heart speeds up. I drop my hand to her stomach and clutch the fabric as my cheeks burn in a blush. Leah's shifting lets me know that she's listening. "Why do people have sex? It hurts so much; why do they want it?"

She does that high whine that I've only ever heard her do a few times. Her arms flex around me.

"Normally, when people are together like that, it's consensual. Both people want it, and it feels good. It's not supposed to hurt. It's supposed to feel good. It's supposed to be special."

I clench my hands tighter, locking my jaw.

"Have you..."

"Yeah," she sighs. "I was with him for years and I loved him. I don't regret giving myself to him; it was real at the time."

I don't understand her words. She talks of love and pleasure, but I just feel sick when I think of anything going down there.

I lean forward to rest my forehead against her chest.

"What happens now?" I ask.

"...I don't know," she answers honestly. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do, or how to help you. But I do know that I will do whatever you need me to, be anything you need me to be. You have to let me know what you need, because this is something that I _can't_ screw up; you are the one person that I _can't_ loose."

I kneed the tense muscles of her stomach, hoping for her to relax again.

"I've known that I haven't been well for a long time. And I don't know how to be well...but Edward told me that I should talk about it. I guess we're on the right track."

She nuzzles my hair with a sigh.

"Okay. I just can't loose you."

I wonder if I'd be able to handle loosing _her_. I've never had someone like her in my life before, never cared for someone like this before.

I know that I love her now. I'm certain of it. So how much will it hurt when she's gone?

...

"She found out," I sigh, pulling my knees into my chest as I examine the mingling supernaturals and humans.

I turn my head to the trees, and Edward silently slips out from between them. "I told her."

He stuffs his hands in his pockets and looks at me in that uncomfortable way that he has.

"I know," he says. "How do you feel?"

"God, you sound like a therapist."

He chuckles. "Really," he insists.

I watch as Leah glances back with a half full plate. She smiles softly at me.

"I don't know. I feel different, but I'm not sure how."

He nods, like I told him something he already knows. It's odd that I'm having such a casual conversation with him; I still don't know him any, but it seems like something so mundane. Something so normal.

"Keep talking to her; she'll listen."

"I know," I smile as he walks away.

Leah starts over carrying half the food on the table on her plate.

I giggle at her concentration as she slides down the bark of the tree next to me.

She offers the tower to me, and I carefully pluck up one of the hotdogs to snack on while she devours the rest.

After that, I just stare at her a while. Her shadowed face, the slight orange glow of her skin from the fire, the golden flecks visible in her eyes, all makes her a thing of beauty. A dark masterpiece that should be hung on the walls of a museum.

I've changed so much since coming here to this reservation in this tiny town, and I honestly don't know what I'm supposed to do from here- who I'm supposed to be.

I don't know anything at all because my feelings are so contradictory to what I know they are supposed to feel like.

It's almost worse, because everything before was so simple. I knew what I knew.

I hated everyone; I was always angry because of my situation; when I was alone with the darkness, I was pretending not to be scared- pretending not to feel the empty void of self that overtook my entire being.

I was always so cold, even as a sweaty body with poisonous hands stretched me out beneath it.

Leah glances down, meeting my eyes, and gives me a curious smile.

I'm almost unaware of my hand reaching out and brushing her jaw, mesmerized as her eyes fall closed and she leans into my hand.

She's so warm. Always. Always wrapping me up in those arms with a heat that starts from inside my chest and spreads out.

There's that paradox again, flickering and stuttering and clenching my stomach.

Her eyes lazily slide open again, looking at me with an unintelligible weight that stutters my heart.

"I love you," I breathe, even as that crippling ache spasms in my chest.

It's a painful thing, this emotion that I feel. Maybe I am a masochist, because I say it again. "I love you." It hurts so much, so why is there this desperate need for her to know it, to believe it? Why is there this desperate need to feel it again?

"I lo-"

Her hand fists in my shirt, and with one firm tug, our mouths clash together with an urgency of lips and tongue and a low moan.

My chest constricts again with the noise and the need doesn't lessen any at all. If anything, it's even more painful. Again, I must be a masochist.

Her fisted hand slowly flattens out on my chest, forefinger caressing the hollow of my throat, before she hesitantly pushes me back.

Our lips detach with a small reluctant sound, and it takes several seconds before I can find it in me to pry my eyes open.

Leah's hand slides up from my collar to cup my neck and her eyes bore into me like a live fire. Her other hand leaves my knee to caress my other cheek, and I grip both her wrists tightly to hold her there.

She kisses me again, softly this time, and presses her forehead into mine.

"I love you too, Sam. You're everything to me."

Something in me seems to release, or maybe break, and I don't know what it means or what I'm supposed to do about it.

So I do nothing at all.


	22. Chapter 22

Crushing Gravity

Chapter 22

I giggle girlishly, a sound I can't believe would actually come out of my mouth. But it did, and I don't care, and I lean into Leah's warm body. All my weight is practically pressed into her, but her wolf strength easily allows her to walk straight without any hindrance other than plain not paying attention.

She stumbles slightly, but she still doesn't look away from my face, her expression doesn't falter, and her arm remains wrapped around my back.

The time is later in the evening, well after dark, and the smell of smoke still clings to me even as the sprinkling mist from the clouds dampen my shoulders. The imprints of lingering fireworks still seem to be ghosting the sky.

Leah and I are walking up the path from the beach, and I feel very bubbly from the fruity drink Brady had shoved in my hand earlier in the evening. It's not very late now, just after nine o'clock, and the Fourth of July party is still audible from the gravel road.

There are bonfires all up and down the beach as the natives flood them in celebration of a holiday that doesn't even concern them. Laughter and shouts travel through the humid summer air, every now and then drowned out by a random lit firework that explodes in a shower of sparks or flares in a flash of bright light.

I trip for the innumerable time tonight, feeling strangely clumsy and light. A giggle puffs from me as Leah steadies me once again with an amused showing of teeth.

"I told you not to drink whatever Brady gave you," she scolds lightly without any real bite. "You're drunk."

"Not much," I argue, breathing her in as I burry my nose in her shoulder. "You smell good. Hey, why did we leave everybody behind?"

She laughs, righting me as I misstep slightly. "Mrs. Fuller called Brady and asked him to send you home. Someone is at the house."

"Oh yeah...hey, why are you coming with me?"

"Because I don't trust you not to fall flat on your face on the way back," she says patiently with an amusement that's similar to answering a child's simple-minded questions.

I sigh happily as we walk the dark road, knowing my Wolfe will protect me from any monsters that might jump out.

There is a strange car parked on the road in front of the Fuller household, one that I've never seen before, but I don't think anything of it as we go all the way to the door and open it. There is an idle curiosity of who could be at the house, but my mind is too fuzzy to hold onto anything much.

However, that haziness is blown away completely as we round the corner to the living room. Meek and familiar emerald green eyes meet mine, and the young woman rises slowly from the couch along with Mrs. Fuller.

I straighten up, pulling out of Leah's arms completely as I can feel her curiously looking past me.

"What are you doing here, Lyla?" I ask shakily. "Get out."

She opens her mouth and steps forward, hand slightly outstretched. "Sam-"

"Get out!" I scream, bunching my hands in fists and spreading my feet defensively.

Mrs. Fuller steps between us, raising her hands at me in a placating gesture of peace.

"Samantha," she scolds, disappointment scrunching her brow. The look...it makes me feel strange. Like there is a squirming in my gut and it feels really crappy. "I know you're angry, and you have the right to feel however you feel, but lower your voice. You can express yourself without yelling."

A warm hand presses into my lower back, reminding me that this one other secret is about to come to an end.

"Sam," she asks, caressing the skin showing from my ridding shirt and the back of my hand. "Who is she?"

Looking into her eyes, I can tell that she already knows, but she's confused. All she knows is that I miss my sister, that I was taken away from her, so she doesn't know why I would be angry at her now.

"Leah, this is my sister. She's the one who sent me to foster care. She's the reason I went through everything I've been through."

Leah's dark eyes flash, warring with emotions. Anger, sadness, understanding, happiness, confusion, guilt, indecision, and then acceptance. I don't know why she would feel guilty.

She slowly moves her gaze from me to my sister, taking in all our similarities. Lyla looks distressed, wringing her fingers together like you would a wet cloth.

"Are you a friend of Sammy?" She asks nervously, smile strained.

"I'm her girlfriend," Leah comments frostily. Her tone is unfriendly but polite; her face shows compassion and acceptance.

Lyla blinks wide-eyed and rubs the back of her neck.

"Ah...well, I guess I shouldn't be surprised; she had the biggest crush on Minnie Mouse when she was little."

That surprises me. I don't remember that.

"What are you doing here, Lyla?" I ask again, voice calmer now even though my emotions are frayed. I blame the alcohol.

"I wanted to talk to you," she crosses her arms, but it's not a defensive move. It looks like it's for support. "I miss you."

"You got rid of me," I say passively, unknowingly mimicking her stance.

"Perhaps we should..." Mrs. Fuller points her thumb out the door hesitantly, sensing that this is a private conversation. Lyla is just starting to nod her head when I snatch up Leah's hand to keep her from leaving.

I need her. I don't want her to go.

She meets my eyes and nods in acknowledgment. She'll stay.

"You got rid of me," I say again once Mrs. Fuller disappears down the hall. Leah pulls me into her, enveloping me from behind in the perfect comfort that I need.

Lyla shakes her head, tears teetering at the edge of her eyes. "I didn't want you to leave; I thought I was doing what was best for you."

That argument just seems so pathetic to me.

"It would have been best for me if you had kept me," I snarl, for the first time glad for the restraints holding me in place. Of course, I can easily break Leah's hold if I wanted, but just them being wrapped around me is enough to keep my grounded. "It would have been best for me if you wanted me."

"I love you Sammy; I wanted you," she cries, reaching out for me.

I sniff in response, my own tears blurring her face from my vision.

"But I wasn't good enough. I would have been better. Why didn't you tell me; I could have been better?"

"No, Sammy, no, it wasn't your fault." She pulls me out of Leah's arms and into her own much cooler one's. They feel foreign now and not like how I remember. Leah lets me go reluctantly, and I cling to my sister, sobbing.

"Why wasn't I good enough? I could have been better; why didn't you tell me to be better?"

Lyla holds me tight, and it's so uncomfortable, but I miss her so much.

"It's me; it's me that wasn't good enough. I'm sorry, Sammy, I'm so sorry."

I clutch at her back, not caring that I'm snotting all over her pretty green shirt, or that she's squeezing me in one of her too-tight hugs... Or that she is the cause of so much bad. Because there is one thing absolutely good that happened that wouldn't have otherwise.

I'm _happy_ now. Leah is the best thing that ever happened to me.

And it's _because_ she sent me away. How messed up is that? How different would things have been if she had kept me?

How different would _I_ be? I can't even remember who I was before everything.

* * *

 **A/N: So, I hope you don't think Sam forgive her too soon... I'm my defense, it has actually been several weeks and Sam _is_ a bit drunk. I know I didn't spend a lot of time describing the struggle Sam had about Lyla, but I feel that I would mostly just be repeating myself and I know that I always quickly got bored when other stories spent and ultra long time on things.**

 **Anyway, let me know what you think.**

 **~Silver~**


	23. Chapter 23

Crushing Gravity

Chapter 23

"So," Lyla says, fiddling with the hem of her shirt like I always remember her doing. She pulls her feet up on my bed, tucking them under her. She stares out my bedroom door like she could see down the hall to the small light illuminating the bathroom. "Girlfriend, huh?"

The awkwardness is so tangible that I can taste it, so I stare down at the set of clothes piled on my sister's lap as we wait for my girlfriend to get out of the shower. She had been kind enough to allow Leah to go first since they are both spending the night.

Mrs. Fuller offered Lyla the couch instead of driving back to Forks and searching for a motel- if they even have one.

"Yeah," I answer with a blush. I'm still embarrassed about crying all over her, and she's embarrassed that I'm embarrassed.

She turns her head to face me, a deep sadness and longing simmering in her familiar eyes.

"God, I missed so much. What else happened with out me? Who took you to get feminine products the first time you had your period; who taught you how to drive; have you had your first time yet? Who was your first date, or your first kiss?"

A slow burn works its way up my neck, centering in my cheeks and pulsing in my temple.

"Lyla," I protest, drawing further away on my bed.

"Oh, come on, Baby Girl, who was it? I really want to know." She sets her hand overtop mine and it's cooler than I'm used to.

"Leah," I answer reluctantly. "She was my first kiss and first date."

"Really?" She smiles, cooing at me. "Awe, that's so cute! Do you love her?"

I feel awkward again, the conversation feeling something like gossip with a stranger. Lyla is a stranger to me. I don't know her anymore and she doesn't know me. But that's what she's trying to do now, isn't it? Get to know me again? That's what she said she was here for.

It just feels a little fast, I guess. I thought that I hated her not two hours ago.

"I love her," I say, looking down at the hand resting on mine. It feels weird that it's not Leah. She's the only one allowed to touch me... But Lyla used to touch me, hug me, patch me up all the time. She was the most important thing to me after mom was killed.

She's not anymore.

"She is everything to me," I admit in a low voice that seems to be loaded with meaning, even to me.

Lyla studies me in silence until there is a short rap on the open door.

"Bathroom's open," Leah says glancing at my older lookalike before all her attention is on me.

"Right," Lyla says, standing and gathering her pile of borrowed clothes. She hesitates at the door with a wavering look back. "Goodnight Sammy."

"Night," I respond.

She closes the door behind her, leaving just me sitting on the bed and Leah lingering by the light switch.

I get the feeling that I'm about to have another gossip session with the person we were just talking about, about the person I was talking about her with. But then Leah flips off the light, sending the room in a darkness that is impossible to see in.

Springs groan as the bed dips with added weight. I shuffle blindly as blankets are pulled back, and I'm soon slipping into the covers next to a heated body. Our feet slide together until we finally settle in a comfortable embrace.

Leah's damp hair is slightly annoying so I slide lower on the bed, resting my head on her chest instead of the pillow, and her fingers trace soothing circles on my bare arms.

I have taken to wearing less to bed whenever she stays over, because if I don't, I always wake up overheated and sweating in the middle of the night. Leah's wolf blood makes in impossible to wear layers when we cuddle, but I've gotten better at being around her like this.

"So that's your sister?" She asks the ceiling.

"Uh huh," I sigh and nuzzle my nose into her chest. She shivers.

"Okay." And that's it. Straining my eyes in the darkness, I can see the glint of the window. I wait for her to say more, staring at it until my eyes grow heavy and I'm reminded of my few not-so-nonalcoholic drinks tonight. I drift off to a deep, dreamless, sleep.

...

My come to consciousness is a sudden and painful thing. The change is so quick, that I at first don't realize that I'm actually awake, or rather, had been asleep.

I snap to an upright position, chest heaving in panic and eyes strained wide to take in as much detail as possible in the dimly lit room. After a few shaky breaths, my shoulders slump as my mind processes that what I had been experiencing wasn't really happening. That it was just one of my various night terrors.

Before I can relax for long, my heart once again leaps into my throat as a shadowed silhouette moves from my peripheral.

"Easy," the tired voice says before I can do more than suck in a sharp breath. "You were making noises again. You were dreaming."

I relax again at my foster brother's familiar voice.

"Sorry Brady," I sigh, wiping sweat from my forehead.

"It's fine," he yawns. "You want to talk about it?"

I open my mouth to deny the offer like I always have, but this time I hesitate.

"No," I finally say. "No, I'm fine now. Thank you for waking me."

"Yeah, yeah, sure." He doesn't get up and leave, though, like he normally does, even though the first day of school is in the morning. He settles down on the end of the bed, making me have to fold my feet or be sat on.

"How are things going with Leah by the way? She's been acting...different with you. Is everything okay? She won't think anything about it while she's shifted."

I'm both embarrassed, and annoyed. Ever since she found out what happened to me in the past, she acts like she's walking on eggshells.

She's always been gentle with me, but now she's acting like one, firm poke will have me come apart like wet tissue paper. She's not as confident in touching me and she doesn't kiss me as much, or it's just a little peck when she does. Sure she kisses back when I initiate a kiss, and willingly allows it to deepen when I do that to, but it almost makes me feel like a slut when I try to get her to kiss me for real.

After everything that I've been through, does it make me a slut if I still want to be close to her? If I still want her to touch me, just a little, and kiss me until my head is spinning?

No, no, I know that it's doesn't, and I've read things that someone like me might feel that way. I know it's just my insecurities, but... I hate that feeling I get every time she pulls away and her eyes show hesitance, uncertainty, and sadness. She looks at me like I'm broken.

And I hate that it's true. That she can see it now.

"Sam?"

"What?" I blink at Brady, dragging my eyes up from my lap.

"Is everything okay?" He asks again, and I'm reminded of his original question that led to my line of thinking.

"Yeah, yeah. It's just that she found out something about me, and she doesn't really know how she's supposed to act. She's coming with me to California for Christmas break though. Lyla asked me to visit."

"I did hear about that," he nods his head, looking just a little bit more awake as he folds his legs to sit crisscross. "So you forgave her?"

"No, well, maybe. I guess." He starts to smile and I scowl at him. "I didn't know, okay? For the longest time I always pictured her coming to save me from the system and asking me to go live with her again, but now I know that she was the reason I was in the system to begin with. I still love her, but I kind of hate her too now that she's actually here and wants me to live with her. It's like a warped version of my fantasy."

He frowns, becoming a little upset. "She wants you to move to California? Are you going to do it?"

"I don't know," I admit, slightly taken aback by how offended he seems of the idea. "Maybe eventually, but not this year. We're not close enough for that and..." I blush. "I kind of like it here."

Brady shifts on the bed, causing me to subconsciously move as well, scooting back to lean against the wall.

"Well, if you did leave, Leah would no doubt follow. She wouldn't be able to let you go even if she wanted to. Not unless you told her that you didn't want her, but she wouldn't be able to survive that."

I shift awkwardly. Isn't that one of those things he's supposed to keep a secret?

"Why does she like me," I ask, staring closely at his expression. "Has she ever told you why?"

It's because of my scrutiny that I catch the sudden tensing in his jaw and the slight shift of his eyes darting away.

"Er, well, see, I'm not supposed to tell you that. It's kind of complicated."

Complicated. I hate that word even though it sums up my entire life.

"Fine," I huff, "what ever."

He grins cheekily at me, once again shifting from his spot.

"Awe, come on, Sammy, lighten up; I really can't tell you!"

I bristle at the name coming from him and my fist snaps out to punch his chest as hard as I can. He laughs, moving as he rubs his peck.

"Fine, fine, not Sammy then. Then what else can I call you?"

"Sam," I deadpan.

"But there's _already_ a Sam in our group."

"Then call me Honey like Emily does." I regret the sarcastic comment even as it's leaving my mouth, because I know that he just might do it. Then another thought makes a sly smile form. "But if you do, Leah might bite you."

Brady's humor vanishes, replaced with haunted eyes as he rubs his shoulder where she tore into him not to long ago for jumping out of the trees and trying to scare me in wolf form.

When the fright caused me fall and scrape my palms, Wolfe over-reacted just the littlest bit. It was all very sweet though, or it would have been if her muzzle weren't smeared with blood.

I snicker at his expression, and he allows his own slight smile in response before he leans forward off the wall to stand up.

I startle when I realize that our arms have been brushing for the past half hour that we've been talking. He had been sitting right next to me, touching me, and I didn't even really notice until he moved away.

He's been touching me for so long, and I was okay with it.

"So, are you feeling a little better?" He asks, looking down at me from his spot I hadn't even realized he'd moved in to. "Do you think you could get some more sleep before school?"

I nod somewhat numbly, confused about why, even now that I'm aware of it, there is no panic in his closeness. He reaches out and gently muses my already out of place hair.

"Get some rest then," he suggests softly with another yawn as he stands and makes his way to the door. "I'll see you in a few hours."

"Okay," I tell the closed door, and after staring at it for a full minute, I realize just how tired I actually am.

I lay back in my blankets, pulling them up to my chin as I silently ponder the strange feeling of peace when I know I've just had one of my bad dreams.

I close my eyes and slip into unconsciousness once more.

* * *

 **A/N: So, I realized that I might have too many Leah/Sam moments so there's some Brady love in there for you. If you are fine with all the mushiness, stay tuned for the next chapter where Leah and Sam have another much needed talk.**

 **Is this story too long? I'm currently writing chapter 28 on my phone and I don't know how much longer till the end. Usually when I think of something big to happen in a chapter, it usually stretches into two.**

 **Anyway, let me know what you think!**

 **~Silver~**


	24. Chapter 24

Crushing Gravity

Chapter 24

Tap... Tap... Tap... Tap.. Tap. Tap tap tap tap taptaptaptaptaptap- _snap!_

I give a furious snarl and throw my broken pencil onto the short table where one end bounces, flips, and falls off the other end with another _tap tap_. The other end rolls slowly to the very edge and then stops, teetering there.

"Hey, hey, hey," Kim materializes at my side with hands on her hip in an unconscious impersonation of Emily. "What do you think you're doing? Pencils don't grow on trees you know- wait..."

If my blood wasn't simmering and I wasn't already beyond frustrated, I would have snorted at her beginning look of dawning realization. As it is, I'm only marginally amused.

Kim shakes her head, shaking the thought away with it.

"Anyway, what's going on; I thought you were understanding this stuff better?"

"I don't know!" I growl swiping my arm at the table and sending the papers and books on it flying. The crisp sheets fall in different directions, cutting through the air and then sliding a few feet more across the wooden floor. The book doesn't go far, just landing on its edge and tipping over, face down on folded pages.

I rise to my feet, the familiar need to move aching in my back in a way that makes me shudder and grip my hair in both hands, tugging.

"Well, what's wrong?" Kim asks calmly from her seat on the couch, used to dealing with werewolf anger.

"I can't concentrate!"

I've had these tantrums before, at least once a week, sometimes twice, towards the end of the school year, but usually they are less violent. It's already a month into sophomore year, and I feel like I'm about to implode.

My body feels so hot, like I'm about to erupt in a fiery inferno.

Kim tilts her head and glances out the window where the rain pounds unrelentingly. Even though it's only five o'clock, it looks like it's the middle of the night out there.

Quite disorienting if you're not used to staying up till morning many times a week every other month.

"You miss Leah," she says, not moving her searching eyes from the groaning glass.

"No," I lie. Ever since school started, I haven't seen as much of her. She graduated last year and now has a job at the local stop and shop grocery. She hates it there. She's always wanted to go to a University and get out of this town, but she's wolf now. She has responsibilities.

A distant howl rises making my hair stand on end, and I glance out the window myself.

"It's okay," Kim continues, narrowing her eyes like she can see straight into the darkness and through the trees to the thing she's searching for. "We all worry when the get called out like that. It's only natural."

I suddenly realize that she wasn't talking about school at all, and I pause in my pacing.

Only an hour ago, before the sky decided to drop all its water at once, a long and chilling howl had rattled the windows. Immediately, the pleasant afternoon snack had turned tense. Every wolf leapt to their feet and charged out the door in the direction on the woods. Leah disentangled herself from me, apologizing with her eyes, and very softly said, "It's okay. I'll be back in a bit." And then she was gone.

It then started raining like a bad omen, as something didn't quit feel right.

Right then, a bright flash makes outside look like day before it once again drops to darkness. All the lights in the house flicker out.

Emily shuffles into the room, just a ghost of a form as shadowy hands seem to reach out to her, trying to steal her into their world.

There are two flicks of a lighter before an orange dot of flame illuminates her face.

"Well, I guess the storm blew the power out," she comments, going around the room and lighting candles that I didn't even notice were there. Slowly, the room is visible again with a soft warm glow and rain as a distant harmony.

"How about I find us some board games while we wait for it to come back on?" Emily suggests.

My stomach wrenches, heart racing fast. My fingers tingle with almost a sense of...excitement?

I glance out the widow again, but it's useless to see three inches beyond it.

"Sam?" Kim asks slowly, drawing Emily's attention as well. I lean forward on the very tips of my toes, balancing precariously there.

Another distant howl reaches my ears followed by yips- and I fall into a jog toward the front door.

"Sam!" Kim calls over the wind as a blast of air and water slam the door against the wall with more force than intended. "What are you doing?!"

"I'll be back!" I call, slipping down the steps and taking off toward the trees as my pulse races the further I go.

I don't hear any response or look back as I go in search of Wolfe. My shoulder suddenly pickles with pins and needles, so I swing it furiously as I stumble over roots and branches.

I can hardly see anything in this dark day and sheets of rain, and I'm still squinting through water even as I constantly wipe it from my face.

I need to find Wolfe. But I know that she will be the one to find me. She always finds me. She'll come.

I suddenly stop. I don't know why; I didn't even realize that I had dug my heels into the muddy earth. But then there is a shape in front of me, a pale boy that might be old enough to be in college, with bloody red eyes that stare with a hint of surprise at me.

All noise seems to abruptly cut off to just a ringing in my ears. For a moment, for a long moment that seems to last a lifetime, we just stare at each other with no expression or thought. Then a strong wind with an extra blast of water whips my sodden hair across my face and every sound and feeling is back, only reversed.

I'm being grabbed by ice sickle hands that spin me and tighten painfully.

One arm wraps around my waist, the other has a firm grip on my neck and jaw. He pulls me flush against his marble body.

It's a very different contrast that I'm used to; it's all very unnatural. He doesn't even feel like a person. He doesn't shake or waver or even twitch; it's like I'm being held by a statue.

In that same second that I'm spun, a dozen wolves burst out of the trees on all sides.

"Wolfe!" My cry is gurgled because of the hand at my throat. Wolfe, who I had immediately recognized, snarls, teeth pulled back over gums and looking more ferocious than I've ever seen her. I also notice her favoring her left leg.

"I wouldn't come closer if I were you," the vampire says softly, and I briefly think he's speaking to me, but the wolves halt in their progression, hackles struggling to rise with the sodden fur plastered to their massive frames. "Unless you want this human to die."

His fingers press harder against my flesh to prove his seriousness of the threat.

For a second, it seems to be a stand still. The wolves unwilling to move and the vampire with the prisoner.

Then the mood shifts. The cold one chuckles.

It's a dark ringing laugh that is a beautiful sound, yet sends terror down my spine. This is the thing I've always been scared of. The monster under the bed, the reaching hands from the shadows, the beings I was so sure that lurked when the lights went out.

"Maybe," he croons, lowering his mouth to my neck and kissing it. "I should just kill her here..."

Wolfe meets my gaze, and I can see all the fury and panic and protectiveness in it. I try to convey just as much how sorry I am.

"Or maybe, once I take her away..." The arm across my waist slithers lower, like a cold serpent, and his delicate looking fingers firmly cup me between the legs. "I'll do something else."

My mind numbs, placing me out of my body to watch with a familiar detachment.

Wolfe's eyes widen and, in a speed with almost an unnoticeable delay, all the other wolves recoil. And that's it. They all know now.

Desperation snaps my mind back, and I wrench my head with everything I have.

I would have snapped my own neck if the vampire hadn't snatched his hand back in surprise, and before I even hit the ground, wet fur brushes past me at an untraceable speed, falling on the shocked cold one with a vicious savageness. Wolfe is the first to have his head in her jaws.

I fall to my hands and knees splashing water onto my jeans, though it makes no difference. I notice my arms braced against the ground, trembling so hard that they hardly hold me up. My whole body is shaking.

* * *

 **A/N: Geez, I'm having a rotten day. So, first I have to drive to school, on my motorcycle (and this isn't the bad part) because we have a field trip today, you know? But on that field trip I realize that I'm missing my key. Gone, poof, just not there.**

 **So, I'm sitting there stressing out, waiting for when I'd be able to text a friend still at school to see if I just left it in the bike, and then stressing some more while I wait for her reply. She replies 'no' and I was like 'fuck' (except I don't ever cuss out loud, only when I write). But then she said that there was no key in the keyhole on the gas tank, and I felt relief again.**

 **I told her the keyhole to start the bike was on the side so I had to wait another whole hour for her to get out of her next bell, still stressing, before she could look again. It was't in the keyhole.**

 **So, not only that, but the bus was almost late getting back to school, so I was stressing about not catching a bus ride home from school and I left my helmet in the classroom expecting to be able to retrieve it the next day with the other key, and drive my motorcycle home then. It felt like my luck was looking up because my dad was home and could pick me up from the bus stop a mile from my house, meaning I didn't have to walk home in the sweltering heat in my long sleeve shirt and leather jacket.**

 **But then he decided we had to drive back to school to take my bike home right then, but it still felt like my luck was looking up because I then found my key on the ground next to my bike.**

 **Only, on the way home, my bike started doing this jerking thing with the engine, slowing down, then speeding up, then slowing down, so I pull over to the side of the road and dad stop beside me. I tell him that my bike is acting funny. He tells me we can't stop there and drives away. Only my bike wouldn't start again. And I left my phone in the car because it was dead.**

 **Eventually, I figure that maybe it ran out of gas, even though I shouldn't have gone enough miles for it to be out of gas, and flip the reserve valve that saves some gas for those kinds of situation. After a few tries, it stared and I made it to a gas station.**

 **And that is the conclusion to my rotten day.**

 **If you had read this entire authors note, then you have way more patience than me and I applaud you. Thank you for reading my rant and please leave a review to continue making my day better.**

 **~Silver~**


	25. Chapter 25

Crushing Gravity

Chapter 25

Leah's POV

 _"I don't know how many men forced themselves on me."_

 _"I was eight the first time it happened."_

 _"Have you ever been raped?"_

 _"Stop it! Get the fuck off me you fucking pedophile!"_

 _"Fuck!"_

 _"Or maybe, once I take her away... I'll do something else."_

I have to consciously force myself to stop tearing chunks out of the mutilated pile of marble. The stench of leech burns my nose with every pant, but my chest continues to heave as I wrestle with control of anger and sense.

The others continue to tear apart the unfortunate vampire, thoughts no more than primitive fury.

I hesitate when I'm able to pull myself away from the mutilation, and suddenly, it's not such a struggle to focus as my eyes land on my imprint. Even the wolf in me knows that it is far more important to be by its mate than partake in the just and complete dismemberment of its enemy.

I pad over slowly to Sam, who is still kneeled in the puddle she fell in. She's trembling like a wolf about to shift, but her eyes are wide and trained on her shadowed and distorted reflection looking back at her.

 _"After the first few it didn't seem to matter; I knew it was just going to happen again."_

My whine can be heard over the wind and rain that continues relentlessly, but she doesn't look up or even stir.

 _Leah..._

I drag my eyes past my girlfriend, and meet the wide troubled eyes of the youngest wolf.

 _Was she really... Was she really..._ Brady is unable to finish even the thought.

I turn back to the broken-looking girl with out a word. I don't need to tell them anything. They already know that it's true.

 _Get her out of here_ , Sam growls, glaring down at the pile of white marble. _We'll take care of this._

I quickly shift back to human, ignoring the harsh weather beating against my bare body, and kneel in front of my imprint.

"Sam?" I call softly, reaching out to touch her shoulder.

Her eyes lift slowly, blinking at my swinging breasts like she can't quite process what they are, until she meets my eyes.

Her eyes. They're so green. Large emeralds melted down and swirled.

 _"A lot of them weren't fostering me just because it was a good thing to do. I have pretty eyes,"_ I hear her ironic voice in my head.

 _"I have pretty eyes."_

I hate that she might connect them to her rapes because it's probably my favorite feature on her.

Miraculously, they lighten and she smiles. Her hands lift from the forest floor, still trembling slightly, and she holds them out to me.

Immediately, I scoop her into my arms, ignoring the slight pain in my recently dislocated shoulder, and start walking.

Her rests her head against my chest without complaint, enabling me to feel the brush of her eyelashes every time she blinks. Her left hand traces my skin almost unconsciously, cold fingers making it immediately erect and heat to coil in my core.

In my mind, the wolf is still thrashing in its cage with the fury of what it witnessed. The leech touching her mate. My mate. Our mate.

There is an instinctive part of me that wants to claim her for good; rub my sent into the deepest part of her so there would be no mistaking who she belongs to. Me. She's mine!

"Leah?" She asks softly, and my glower shifts from the gravel road down to her. She doesn't flinch, just looks up at me with those wide, curious eyes.

I then realize that I'm still butt-naked, walking in the middle of the road, and I also took her to my house instead of hers.

It doesn't matter anyway; mom and dad would both not be home, so I let myself in and carry her all the way up to my room before I finally let her down. When I flip the switch, the light stubbornly stays off so I start going for the candles that every house in Washington keeps laying around.

"Take those wet clothes off before you catch something," I tell her, and move towards my drawers once there is enough light in the room.

I tug a large shirt on before going in search of something for my girlfriend to wear, only to falter when cold arms wrap around me from behind.

I turn slowly to look down at my girlfriend, sopping wet, dripping a puddle on my bedroom floor and burying her face into me for warmth.

The urge to claim her, that hadn't quieted any, but was pushed back, becomes all the more strong at this show of vulnerability.

I need to claim her, mark her.

"Um," I suck in a deep breath, filling my nose with the sent that would be a vampire's treat, and push her away slightly by the shoulders. "I should go."

She notices my slight trembling and frowns. "Why? What's wrong?"

"I just... It's Wolfe." I know that she sees my shifted form and me as too separate beings. Me, as I am, is her girlfriend and best friend. But Wolfe is an entirely different thing. Wolfe is her protector. Wolfe is an animal, Leah is a human; it's too separate things. She knew them as too separate things before she ever knew them as _me_. So even if she knows mentally that we are one and the same, it doesn't quite seem like it to her and she has different feelings for them.

I guess Wolfe is kind of separate from me, considering I always refer to that primal part of myself as 'the wolf.'

Sam tilts her head in concern.

"Wolfe... My wolf wants to claim you. Seeing you... _touched_ like that drives crazy. It's very possessive and the normal instinctive thing to do would be...claim you."

She blinks at me, face not giving her emotions away at all, not like it normally does. I turn away to shuffle through the drawers again.

There is the sound of wet clothing as Sam finally shrugs out of them.

"I'll just get you some clothes and go downstairs," I rattle nervously. "I'll be fine once-"

A chilly hand tugs on my elbow, turning me smoothly and rising up to connect our lips with a practiced ease. She's gotten really good at this, is all I can think as she softly bites my bottom lip before pulling away.

My eyes are slow to open, but when they do, they stretch wide and my mouth goes completely dry.

Sam steps away, clasping her hands behind her back to display her bare breasts with nipples that are little more than pebbles and a dusting of goose flesh on every inch of exposed skin.

She's naked, staring at me with an expression that instantly snaps my brain into working order. Her face is blank but her eyes are a war of different things and feelings that I can't figure out.

She lies down on my bed and turns her head away in what I can only call shame.

"Do whatever you need to," she says in a voice matching her expression.

Looking at her, stretched out naked on my bed, I have to admit that I have daydreamed of this.

Except it's all wrong. She doesn't want me.

My wolf, finding something much more important than marking her mate, settles back down to its normal protective concern for an imprint.

I crawl forward on the bed, hovering over her and closely watching her warring emotions. I lower my face to hers and she willingly returns the kiss, but it feels like she's not really there.

I pull away just a whisper, looking into her resigned eyes. "I'm not going to sleep with you, Sam."

She nods with that same look, like she expected the answer. Was this some sort of test? Why does it look like I failed?

She ducks her head, tucking it against my chest with a loose grip on my shirt. But everything about her movements and silence and expression still screams that something is wrong.

She's extremely quiet, and the longer it stretches on, the more concerned I get as a small knot in my chest seems to grow.

"Is it because you think I'm a slut?" She whispers.

First, I blink. Then, my eyes widen as I recoil from my girlfriend, looking down at her and begging with agonized eyes that I heard wrong.

"What?" I ask disbelievingly, throwing my mind backward and searching for any moment that I could have in some way given her that impression.

She looks up at me with red-rimmed eyes and damp cheeks. How could I not have known that my imprint had been crying into my shirt?

"Do you think I'm a slut? Am I a slut? I know you love me, and least I'm pretty sure you do, and I know you don't want me anymore because of all the men that I've..."

I can only watch wordlessly as she swallows thickly, shaking my head slowly in dumbfounded denial.

"But I'm not a slut. Or, maybe I am, I don't know, but-"

"No, Sam, no," I finally seem to find my voice, and I reach out to her frantically. "Fuck, I messed up," I moan, cradling her tear streaked cheeks. How did I mess up?

She opens her mouth, but I quickly silence her with my hand.

"No, shut up and listen. None of what happened to you is your fault, okay? And you are not a slut. I do love you, don't ever doubt that, and I want you, Sam. I always have, even when it made me sick with guilt, and it still makes me guilty."

"But...you don't touch me like you used to. I told you that I liked it when you touch me, and now you always pull back."

"Of course I pull back; it felt so awful when you yelled at me like I was... I don't ever want you looking at me like that again, and I'm terrified that I might go too far and you will!" Some of my frustration leaks out, which I know to be a mistake when her bottom lip wobbles before she sits up and turns away from me, taking deep breaths.

I close my own eyes to try and center myself until all that is left is calm urgency.

"It's so easy to lose myself in you, and I don't ever want to hurt you by being so careless," I reach out, placing a hand on her shoulder. I'm relieved when she turns into it some, leaning into my touch even if it is subconscious. "I'm sorry that I didn't know I was hurting you anyway. I don't know how I could have already messed up so much."

She relaxes completely under my hand, and I'm so relieved.

"What is an imprint?"

The question shocks me completely, but I guess I should be used to it by now.

"I'm sorry?"

She looks over her shoulder, nothing but curiosity showing in her gaze.

"An imprint. I've heard it a few times, from Kim or the other wolves. I heard that I was your imprint. What does it mean?"

I smile ironically, having not even suspected that this talk would be happening when I woke up this morning.

"An imprint is you. Or rather, an action that I do- did- to you. Did you know that wolves mate for life?"

Sam nods, and I can see the slow understanding beginning to dawn on her face.

"I, we, are essentially wolves. When a wolf first sees its mate, they know automatically. I knew as soon as I saw you in that lunchroom that I couldn't ever love anyone else, even if you didn't choose me, too. I knew that I would do anything for you, be anything for you, if only you asked."

Sam's expression is undistinguishable. Then she smiles with a sort of relief.

I didn't expect any less of her and it pleases me to be right in something regarding her.

She turns her body back towards me, and I'm suddenly reminded of my girlfriend's nakedness now that she's more emotionally stable, as the candlelight throws shadows of deep contrast across her bare chest.

My eyes unwillingly take in the exposure of her skin before I can think to stop them, but then my cheeks burn as I quickly turn away.

"Um," I stutter and Sam suddenly gasps.

It makes me feel strangely better as Sam becomes flustered and stutters and trips over her own feet to hide herself. I almost smile as she makes me turn away as she changes, completely disregarding the fact that she had been in front of me that way for the past hour.

Even after she's clothed she's still too flustered to cuddle, and by that time, the power flickers back on as the storm finally passes.

* * *

 **A/N: You are absolutely right, SH4D0W44, everybody prepare yourselves. There is only one more drama before this story ends, and I honestly think you guys might hate me a little for it.**

 **Mwahahahahaha, I feel evil. But, no seriously, this story is almost over. Like, three or four more chapters almost over. :(**

 **So let me know what you think, is it starting to feel like things are repeating themselves? It seems kind of repetitive to me...**

 **~Silver~**


	26. Chapter 26

Crushing Gravity

Chapter 26

"It's so frustrating," I sigh, throwing myself down on the damp, mossy, ground. I shift, trying to get into a more comfortable position by drawing my legs closer and leaning into the tree across from the other sprawled body.

He absently wiggles his outstretched leg, bumping me with his foot.

"What is?" He asks, staring through me as he does with those golden eyes.

"Ever since the pack found out about you-know-what, they've been tip toeing around me acting like I'll break with one simple tap. All the sympathetic looks they're sending me are aggravating. The other day, Paul even came up and _apologized_ to me for being a jerk. He doesn't _do_ that!"

Edward shifts, folding his stretched out leg under the other.

"To be fair, I'm pretty sure Rachel made him do it."

I roll my eyes. "Oh, how can I forget about the imprints? Did they have to tell their girlfriends my own business? Kim has asked me if I wanted to 'talk' about it I don't know how many times. I wish they would just stop and leave me alone; it's not even a big deal-"

"Stop it."

I blink, registering my companion's firm glare. His eyes are still their strange gold, but look darker and more natural color.

"It's a huge deal. You were raped, Samantha," he stresses ruthlessly, ignoring my wince. "That's not okay. And it's not your fault."

"I know that!" I snap defensively, and he just raises an eyebrow, calm again as ever. "I just don't want them making a big deal of it and to just act normal."

"That's not true either," he refutes immediately. "If they acted normal with you after learning what they did, and it _is_ a big deal, then that would mean they didn't care. You like that they care; you just hate that they found out at all."

My eyes fall down to my lap. "How do you _do_ that? Know what I feel?"

"I can read minds," he says casually.

I roll my eyes before looking back at him and return to the topic.

"It's humiliating," I admit.

He tilts his head and does that thing that feels like he really is reading my mind.

"How old where you when it first happened? Eight? So you were eight then. A weak, scared, little kid that stood no chance against an adult male. It doesn't matter how hard you would have fought; you couldn't have won. It's not your fault."

I sigh, looking away, tearing a leaf apart into confetti.

"And all the other times? Just last year?"

"A child gets beaten to death by his parents. Is it his fault? A slave is taken from his home and sold across the continent. Is it his fault?"

"Well, no, but-"

"What makes you so special? If you can't blame the child or the slave, what makes you so special that you can blame yourself?"

I sigh in defeat, knowing logically that he's right. "Whatever."

Edward smiles slightly.

"So, you're leaving for California today, right? What time is your flight?"

"At six," I answer, pulling my coat closer for warmth. "Leah is driving us to the airport straight from here. I just wanted to say goodbye before we left."

"She's not concerned about us becoming so close?" He teases, standing up as I shimmy up the tree trunk to an upright position.

"Please, you're, like... my shrink."

My teasing smile drops as we break from the tree line and are standing in the gravel drive. "Seriously though, thank you. You really have helped me a lot."

He pulls a charming smile and inclines his head in an old timely fashion.

"Come on by when ever you like. For advice, or if you just want to chat."

I pause, wondering if I should hug him. People do that, right?

But no, I'll only be gone for two weeks and he might know more of my secrets than anybody, but we're not that close.

So I click my heels together and give a deep bow at the waist with a teasing grin, and turn away.

Leah pushes away from the car with her foot, giving a curious smile.

"Ready to go?" She asks, brushing a kiss on my lips.

"Yeah," I sigh shakily, feeling a nervous flutter as she pulls out and heads in the direction of the airport.

...

The airport security in much more lax going out than going in.

Leah and I don't have anything in baggage claim, but we head in that direction anyway. It's the meet up point Lyla and I had agreed on.

I spot my sister immediately, standing on her toes and scanning the crowd opposite from where I observe her.

She's clutching the hand of a young man who is also scanning the crowed.

He is of average tall height with short messy hair that seems to have a mind of its own.

He spots me first. Just staring for a moment, blinking, until there is recognition in his eyes and he turns to tug on my sister's hand.

She looks up and follows his pointing until her eyes brighten on me. A grin breaks her face, and she's almost hopping as she waves me over.

"Hey," I greet once we get close enough, allowing her hug as it squeezes me.

To my surprise, she goes to Leah next. I didn't know they were close enough to do that.

She quickly pulls back, tugging the burnet forward, whom I can now see has attractive blue eyes, with an affectionate smile.

"This is my husband Mathew; we met in med school. Matt, this is my little sister and her girlfriend."

"It's good to finally meet you," he smiles sincerely.

I take his outstretched hand hesitantly, feeling awkward all the while, and I quickly pull it back as soon as it seemed appropriate.

"So the house is about a half hour drive, and I'm sure you guys are tired after the flight," Lyla says, hooking onto my arm to pull me in the direction of the exit.

Mathew kindly offers to carry our bags, and Leah hands them over without protest.

"Both of us have off work tomorrow, unless we're called in with an emergency. We live by the water so I was thinking we could go down to the beach, have lunch down there, and then go back to the house to wash up and change before going to a restaurant," Lyla pauses as we climb into her car, Leah and Mathew in the back and Lyla and I up front. "Is that alright? We can do something else if you want?"

"No, it's fine," I say.

She smiles happily.

Her house is pretty big. Nowhere near the size of the Cullens, but so much better than where we used to live or some of the homes I've been in. It has a white wash outside and two floors with three bedrooms, three bathrooms, and an open downstairs. The walls are painted soft pale colors of peach or green. The kitchen is a gentle yellow that has a sliding door that opens up to the warm weather outside.

She leads us up the wooden stairs to a room on the far right that has a bathroom across from it.

"This is your guys' room."

"Wait," Mathew frowns, setting down our two suitcases. "Aren't we supposed to split them up? They're dating, right?"

Before I can feel offended or any other emotion, Lyla rolls her eyes.

"Oh, please Matt, if they have already slept together there is no point in separating them now, and if they haven't, they wouldn't have their first time just across the hall from us. There are better places for that."

My cheeks hurt with the heat that floods them as Lyla winks at me.

Mathew rubs the back of his neck uncertainly.

"I guess you're right."

"Of course I'm right," she says, placing a hand on his chest. "Now let's get out of their hair and give them a chance to get situated."

"It is pretty late," he agrees.

With another hug from Lyla, they both disappear down the hall, bickering the entire time.

"Mathew seems nice," Leah comments, picking up our bags to take them in the room.

"I guess-" I pause as the light flicks on.

The walls are a dark blue with dark wood dressers shoved against them. It could be my childhood room if the bed wasn't a queen size and it weren't for the bigger space. Plastic glow in the dark stars are stuck to the ceiling just like I remember it from before.

I have a flash of black hair and green eyes lifting me upward to stick them there and a young teen standing on a chair and tiptoes just to reach.

I blink and turn away to fumble with my bag to get ready for bed.

"Sam?" Leah questions.

I shake my head, only hesitating for a second. "It's just like the room I had before mom died. She used to say that the stars would watch over me in the dark and light my path. I almost forgot about that."

Leah comes up behind me and wraps her arms around my waist, resting her head on my shoulder as she looks up at the plastic stars.

"I'm glad that you remembered."

I pause, mulling the sentence around in my mind.

"Me too," I finally say, fully meaning it.

* * *

 **A/N: Please leave a review, and don't hate me for the next chapter!**

 **~Silver~**


	27. Chapter 27

Crushing Gravity

Chapter 27

I study the wall with fascination and a bit of longing.

Pictures are resting calmly against the green plaster, adding a splash of color to what would otherwise be bare.

They are of black hair and green eyes. Mum.

Her image is freshly painted new in my mind, the fuzzy image renewed to its former clarity.

She has her arms around a little girl, Lyla I assume, and grinning into the camera in joy. Both of them have ice cream smeared across their faces in front of a roller coaster.

And that's as far as I've gotten on the wall of pictures, frozen at the sudden face of my mother.

"That was on your fifth birthday. The amusement park was in town and you'd been begging to go for weeks. She saved up enough to take us and get us sweets."

"That's me?" I ask startled.

"You're in most of them," Lyla says, eyes not leaving the wall but roving from photo to photo, taking them in with a familiarity and regret.

I eagerly search out the others now, spotting Lyla and me in many. Young teenager Lyla holding me as a baby, four year old me clinging to her face as she carries me on her shoulders, both of us with mum, smiling at the camera in some mystery location.

An intense longing cramps my stomach. "I don't remember any of these," I say. I don't remember smiling as much as it shows in these pictures or even posing for them.

"You were young," she defends simply.

Farther along the wall I see wedding pictures, and I move along to study them too. They both look happy in them, smiling at the camera or at each other.

The bathroom door opens, upsetting me from my thoughts.

"Alright, I'm finished," Leah says, walking out and running fingers through her hair to straighten it some. It's gotten longer since I've known her, falling to her shoulders now. "You should get dressed," she tells me.

My eyes widen, suddenly blushing in embarrassment as I realize what I'm actually wearing out in the open next to Lyla. It's just the soft fluffy shorts and loose tank top that Leah bought for me, but only she had seen me in them. It's more skin than I would be comfortable in front of someone.

Lyla smiles. "Great! Matt has the cooler and it's just a short drive. We can walk, really, but we'll get there faster in the car."

I stiffly brush into the bathroom, struggling not to appear uncomfortable.

It's a straight shot to the beach from the house, and only a five-minute drive through neighborhoods and storefronts. The parking lot is worn and pale with sand.

It's very different from the La push beaches that are short and more rock than sand. This ocean is not the custom grey, but the blue green that the ocean is supposed to be with white sand shores.

And it's very warm. Gone are the clouds and in with the cloudless baby blue sky with the blinding sun that hurts your eyes that always has you directing them to the ground or squinting.

It makes me wish for the cold Washington weather that always allows me to dress in layers, even over the summer.

Now I'm in basketball shorts and a T-shirt with my newly purchased flip-flops dangling from my hand.

Leah helps Mathew with the cooler, the large beach bag, and the umbrella Lyla decided to bring.

I look back in concern of their struggle of juggling all the things.

"Um...shouldn't we help?" I ask Lyla as she pulls me forward by my arm.

"Oh, they're fine," she says unconcerned. "That's what they're for: to be our pack mules. I'm assuming Leah is the boy in the relationship, right?"

"Well," I stutter. "I wouldn't really say either of us is a boy-"

"No, no," she shakes her head. "You know- the boy; the one that holds doors open, carries bags, seems dominant but actually does whatever we ask."

I bite my lip. That does actually seem very accurate.

Lyla smiles in self-satisfaction. "I thought so."

When she finds a suitable spot on the sand that she likes, it's several minutes before they both finally make it over, a towel falling out or dropping the umbrella every few feet.

Mathew drops the large beach bag and his end of the ice chest in relief once they reach us. Leah's face shows only mild annoyance as the tip of the umbrella catches the ground again and falls from her divided grasp.

He huffs, plopping into the sand next to me as Matt starts to struggle with putting the umbrella in the ground and angling it just right.

"Hey," she smiles at me, leaning back on her hands.

"Hi," I return her smile somewhat shyly.

"Hello," Lyla grins, popping her head between us, laughing as I turn a false glare toward her. "Well, go on. We're at the beach, go swimming or something."

Leah pops to her feet immediately, shucking off her jean shorts and pulling her tank over her head.

My mouth goes dry, and she grins cheekily at me before turning and jogging toward the waves.

A tongue clicks by my ear. "You're drooling, Sis."

I scowl, shoving her softly, and she laughs as I march towards the ocean.

I don't really go into the water, settling down in the damp sand to start sculpting it. I don't particularly like going past where the waves break; my mind creates all kinds of monsters lurking under the surface just out of sight and circling my feet. Plus, the salt always gets in my eyes.

I start digging a hole, building a wall to block the tide. Every now and then, I would glance up to find my girlfriend farther and farther out in the water.

At one point, my heart leaps into my throat when I look up only to not be able to find her.

When I do, an odd emotion comes over me. It's a rotten one that burns like acid in my stomach. I don't like the sentiment very much, I think as I examine Leah in shallow waters.

The waves splash against her waist and I can see her wet hair plastered to her scalp and chest. Her hands rest on her hips before gesturing. The handsome boy she's talking to smiles charmingly, leaning forward to say something in her ear.

My cheeks flush as I watch her lean away.

I tell myself to look down, to mind my own business and finish the trench to my castle. Instead, I'm jogging into the water where I can't see my feet.

It's a foreign feeling that rots my chest, and I don't like it one bit as I force a smile to my face, wading deeper.

"Leah!"

She turns as I reach her, smile immediately flashing as I throw myself in her arms.

"Hey, baby girl," she greets, uncomplaining as I pull her into a deep kiss.

She blinks dumbly when I rock down off my toes, before amusement settles over her face, quirking her lips crookedly.

"Who's this?" I ask, finally turning to the good looking, shirtless, boy.

"This is Ethan. Ethan, this is my girlfriend, Sam."

"G-girlfriend," he stutters, eyes wide and with an odd glint. "So you meant girlfriend-girlfriend, and not just friend?"

"Yeah," Leah says, amusement lacing her voice as she stares down at me.

"Um," he rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, "well she can come to the party tonight too, I guess."

She finally pulls her eyes away from me. "Thanks, but we're going to have to pass."

"That's fine then, maybe next time."

"Sure."

It was clear to everyone that nobody expected to ever see the other again. The nameless boy sloshes away back to the shore, never to be thought of again by my girlfriend or myself because, at that moment, something brushes against my leg.

It's only then that I remember that I'm some fifty yards away from the shore, waist deep in murky water that obscures what's under the surface.

I shriek, leaping with a wild franticness onto Leah. She catches me instinctively in surprise, linking her fingers under my butt to keep me from falling as I cling to her neck and waist, straining away from the water.

"Oh, Sam," she coos in amused sympathy. "It's just sea weed."

"I don't care," I growl, not appreciating her laughter. "Take me back."

She starts back to the shore, making slow progress against the waves.

...

"You look really pretty tonight; big date?" I glance up at the boy at the cash register, idly, and shake my head before looking back down at the candy selection.

I briefly ponder getting some twizzlers.

"Nah, Christmas Eve dinner with my sister and her husband."

"You're lucky; I'm stuck here tonight eating chips."

"That's too bad," I say, finally deciding on some sour gummy worms. "You should be home with your family."

For some inexplicable reason, his cheeks turn pink.

He's a good-looking boy, I suppose, that can't be out of high school.

"So, uh, you come around here often? I mean- do you live around here?"

"No," I glance around the empty gas station store, casually seeking out where everyone had disappeared. Mathew, I know, is in the bathroom, and Lyla is over by the drinks in the back.

Leah appears around one of the shelves with chips in her hand and starts over. I turn back to the boy.

"I'm just visiting for winter break."

"That's too bad. Maybe if you need help finding your way around, I can show you some cool places."

"Oh, that's okay; my sister has a GPS in her car." That's really nice of him though.

"That's not actually what I-"

Leah sets her items on the counter, amusement coloring her face. Her lips are pressed in a thin line, looking like she's trying to hold in laughter. Distantly, the bell above the door rings.

"Oh," I frown. "What did you mean then?"

"Ah," he glances around, seeming embarrassed. "Forget it; it was stupid."

"If you say so," I back off, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. Someone brushes against me from behind and I see a man squeezing past.

His hood is flipped up but I can still see that his face is kind of sweaty and his hand shakes as he reaches over to fiddle with some mints farther along the counter.

I take a step closer to him curiously.

"Sir, can I help you with anything?" The boy asks politely.

The man's head saps up nervously, and he clenches something in his pocket that pokes out slightly.

"Leah-" I warn, just as he draws the gun, pointing it shakily at the boy.

"Nobody move!" He demands and the cashier raises his hands into the air instantly, eyes wide and terrified.

"Whoa, hey, don't shot!"

Leah makes to move forward, but I clench her arm tightly.

"You're wolf, not bullet proof," I hiss at her.

The gun whips around to point at us, then back to the boy, then back at us.

"You, in the back, come here!" He yells to Lyla, who had dropped her soda when he first yelled. "Come up here now before I blow someone's brains out!"

Lyla immediately start forward, hands held up in a placating gesture and with a glance shot at me.

She stops just at the end of the isle.

"Hey, it's okay. You don't want to do this," she soothes calmly. "Put the gun down and just walk away; you haven't done anything yet."

"Shut up!" He shouts, swinging the gun around again to each person, eyes wide and desperate and shaking hands and sweaty face. "You don't know anything; I have to! Now open the cash register!"

"Yeah, yeah, dude, alright!" The boy goes immediately to it. The man's hands shake.

"You!" He wields his gun on me. "Come here!"

Leah snarls, her body vibrating under my hand, and steps in front of me. "Like hell!"

"Now let's just calm down; why do you have to do this?" Lyla tries again, and the gun moves to her. Then back to the boy, back to Leah, back to Lyla, then back to the boy.

The man's hands shake. Then drops just an inch.

"Hey, Lyla, do you know where-" Mathew picks the worst time to come out of the restroom.

The man spins in a panic, and the gun goes off with a loud BANG splitting the stale air.

* * *

 **A/N: Bwahahahahaha! Feel my evil! *ducks under a table* Don't kill me?**

 **So, this site or something was messed up and nothing I posted was going through a few days ago and, hopefully, whatever it was is fixed now. I hope you guys got to read the chapter before this all right and please leave a review!**

 **~Silver~**


	28. Chapter 28

Crushing Gravity

Chapter 28

From a young age, I've known loss. The loss of my mother, the loss of having no father, the loss of a sister, the loss of my pet goldfish when I was two. I've known the loss of control, the sense of belonging, and the loss of self from reality.

It's this last one that I feel now as an ear splitting scream, so full of anguish and despair, breaks the ringing silence after the gun.

Distantly, I note the burning in my throat as the panicked man runs from the store.

"Leah..? Hey… Leah. Leah, you can wake up now, the man is gone," I shake my fallen girlfriend's shoulder. "Leah, he's gone now; I want to go home. Leah... Leah!"

The longer she doesn't answer, the more feeling, namely panic, start to register in my body and brain.

A faint burning sensation is over my heart as a growing dark pool spreads outward over that same spot on Leah. My hands come away red with blood.

"Leah!"

Lyla falls to the ground on the other side of us, ripping off her jacket and pressing it over the wound.

"Matt, I need gauze and anything you can get your hands on to stop the bleeding!" She immediately shouts, snapping at the young boy, "Call an ambulance!"

"No," I say, mouth running away before a thought, any thought other than despair, gets through. "No, she can't go to a hospital... Yeah, that's right, she'll just heal. She'll heal right up and we can go home. You can wake up now, Leah. It's okay, we can go home now."

Lyla grabs my shoulder with one hand, the other firmly holding the jacket in place.

"Sam- Sam, I need you to focus. I need you to put pressure on the wound okay? Nice and firm, there you go."

"But you don't understand, she's going to be okay."

"Yes," she agrees, moving to gently slap her face. "We just need to help her be okay. Leah? Leah, can you here me? I need you to open your eyes and stay awake."

My girlfriend moans, eyes cracking open just a bit.

"There you go, keep them open; an ambulance will be here shortly to take you to the hospital."

Leah struggles weakly. "No hos'pl."

"It's okay just try and relax. Leah? No, Leah, keep you eyes open. Fuck! Matt, where are you?!"

Mathew falls to his knees beside his wife with arms full of things from the store. Somewhere in the back of my mind, the sick apathetic part that is already distancing herself, wonders if we'll have to pay for all of this.

"Matt, take over, Sam's going into shock."

Large hands cover mine, pressing down on my bloody skin.

"She's not breathing! Starting CPR!"

Somewhere inside my mind, I know it's wrong to be watching myself, no, my sister, kiss my girlfriend.

"Take the bullet out," my voice comes from nowhere, just stolen out of open space. "Just take the bullet out and she'll heal."

"How far out is the ambulance?!" Mathew calls out to the shell-shocked boy who is very pale.

"T-ten minutes."

"We don't have time for them to get here; we have to operate now."

Lyla nods, climbing to her feet. "Make sure she stays breathing while I grab the emergency kit from the car."

She doesn't wait for a response before she's gone. That's not right; I would never leave Leah. Where did I go?

"Sammy," Mathew speaks softly, "you didn't go anywhere. You're right here, please try to calm down. Take a deep breath."

I'll try.

"Thank you."

He can read my thoughts too. So strange how he and Edward can do that.

I'm soon back and I don't understand any as I rip Leah's shirt off and poke her and prod her with strange tool.

Just take the bullet out and she'll heal, just take the bullet out and she'll heal, just take the bullet out and she'll heal.

Everything will be okay.

"Everything will be okay, Sammy," I sooth myself. "Got it, hand me- Fuck!"

Is she better now? Why am I kissing her again? Is she better now? Are we celebrating?

"One-two-three-four- get the defibrillator! One-two-three-four- are you ready? Get back, Sammy...! Clear!"

Leah's body jolts.

She's wolf, not bullet proof. But she's going to be okay. Just take the bullet out and she'll heal.

"Again. Ready… Clear!"

She jolts again. I feel very light headed. Now really isn't the time for me to kiss my girlfriend. I don't feel right. Why aren't I in my body? Where did the ground go?

"Come on Leah, come on! My sister needs you; wake UP!"

Her body jolts one more time, and she sucks in a deep gasping breath.

"Oh thank god… Sow her up, Matt, before she looses any more blood."

My chest loosens, and I instinctively know that the danger has past. But I'm still so dizzy. At least the stinging sensation on my chest has gone down some.

"What the hell...? Lyla-"

"What the fuck?"

"Just take the bullet out and she'll heal," I say, leaning over my girlfriend and dragging my finger lightly through the blood surrounding the very slowly healing wound. "Leah is special. She can't go to the hospital; they can't know about her or they'll take her away."

"This looks several days old," Lyla whispers, dipping her head low so the boy can't hear her. "Sammy, what's going on?"

"She's special; no one can know about her or-"

"Okay, okay," Lyla soothes, still looking quite baffled. "The ambulance is already on the way so she has to get in and go to the hospital, but we'll take care of it."

Mathew looks shocked stupid, which is a funny expression.

"But how is this possible," he asks.

I shake my head, partly in answer, partly because I still don't feel right.

"Can't tell you."

The ambulance, whose sirens have been getting louder and louder, screech to a stop outside. Lyla hurriedly tapes gauze over the extremely slow closing wound, cursing.

"Sammy can't drive, I'll try to get one of the paramedics to ride up front with the driver."

She stands and hurries away.

After that is a blur, well, even more of a blur than it was before.

I only come-to when a door closes and I suddenly find myself in a white room, beside a white bed, and staring down at the peaceful face of Leah.

It's only then that my face slowly pinches, and a gurgled retched sound comes out.

I fumble blindly into the bed, sobbing all the while in gross snotty blubbers. I grit my teeth and try to choke back the tears like I have learned to do, but it only serves to make them come out even more violent.

"You're gonna be okay, you're gonna be okay," I murmur softly to myself, squirming to press as much into her comforting heat as possible.

Eventually, everything goes black and I'm thrown into my nightmares with a renewed ferocity.

...

I come-to by a soft humming and my face bathed in warm light. Something cold and wet touches my face, and I jerk my eyes open wide.

"Easy, baby girl," Leah soothes. Heat pools in my eyes again, but she quickly shushes me, touching the damp cloth back to my cheek, scrubbing away the swollen redness and tracks.

She dips the cloth back into a bowl on the bedside table before wringing it out to start again.

"Interesting night last night, hmm?"

"I hate you, Leah Clearwater; you're truly awful." A few tears squeeze out against much protest, but she just draws the cloth up to wipe them away again.

She laughs softly. "Maybe. I know you love me."

"I hate you; I really do."

"Okay. I'm sorry." She sighs, wincing as she reaches out to push my snot crusted hair out of my face. I must look truly awful, but Leah doesn't seem to care.

The door opens and Lyla walks in in doctors' scrubs and a lab coat, eyes looking tired. She lays a Walmart bag at the foot of the bed.

"Some clothes. I'm sure you can't wait to get out of that ruined dress."

"Thanks," I murmur.

She nods, striding forward and pressing a button the inclines the bed to sit up.

"I'm just going to check the bandages and see how much it's healed overnight, alright?"

Leah nods reluctantly and allows my sister to lower the top of her hospital gown. Something strange comes back to me, and my brow furrows at the fuzzy image.

"Did you kiss my girlfriend?"

Lyla barks a laugh. "No, I'm afraid I don't swing that way, though she is very pretty," she winks, but then her humor gives way to astonishment as she removes the bandage.

"Amazing!" I look over, grimacing at the deep red, puckering, star shaped scar. "It's almost fully healed; what gives you this power?"

Leah glances at me in question and I shake my head, letting her know that I hadn't told anything.

"It's in my blood," she says slowly. "It's something that goes back in my family for generations but only presents itself in those who have the gene in different generations. I guess you can call it magic."

Lyla nods, eyes wide and eager.

"I'm afraid that's all I can tell you. I'd have to ask permission from the elders for any more. See, it's a secret kept very close that only those directly affected by it, the elders, and our mates know.

"And she's your..." She points at me, trailing off.

"Yes," I say firmly, snuggling closer and keeping my sister's eyes defiantly.

"Okay," she accepts. "Then I'm even more relieved you pulled through."

She quickly rebandages the old looking wound and pulls Leah's gown back up. "Mathew and I are your doctors since the others can't know about this, so only we should be checking in on you. Now, unfortunately, you'll have to stay here for a couple days because, according to the hospital, you suffered a severe gunshot wound to the chest. A normal person would bed ridden for, at the very least, a week. We can probably get you out sooner under the guise that you'll be well looked after at the house."

"Thanks," Leah sighs, partly in relief, and partly in reluctance for the next few days.

Lyla nods, eyes softening on me. "I need to go make my rounds now, but just press the call button if you need anything."

With another nod, she's gone.

* * *

 **A/N: Did I fool anyone? Did I make any of you, even briefly, think that I would actually kill off one of our favorite characters? Or did you already guess that I would never actually do it?**

 **Thanks so much for reading and please, please, please let me know what you think. Are these updates even going through or is there still some sort of problem?**

 **~Silver~**


	29. Chapter 29

Crushing Gravity

Chapter 29

Leah's POV

My eyes narrow at the man wandering around the store, going from isle to isle as slowly as possible. His head appears over a shelf every now and then to pick at things on the top. Slowly. Leisurely.

I was prepared to take my lunch break a minute early because only four people came into the stop and shop since I've been here at eight, but then this guy comes in and I'm now going on three minutes late for my break.

He's moving so slowly.

He moves to the back of the store with the refrigerated items.

I sigh, leaning against the counter and resting my head in my palm. This is not where I wanted to be when I graduated.

I wanted to leave this stupid reservation. I wanted to be the first in my family to go to college, to escape, to be free. I wanted to go away with Sam Uley, get married, and have 2.5 children.

But then everything changed. He broke up with me and I turned wolf. I was stuck again. Stuck in my ex-boyfriend's thoughts, stuck on this res, stuck between vampires and werewolves that I didn't even believe in until I became one. I was sure I was going to be stuck forever.

Until she came. Samantha. So innocent and naive despite the things she'd been through, even if I didn't know it at the time.

I didn't care about getting out after taking one look at her, not if this is where she was.

My eyes slide sideways to the calendar, taking in the date, and then up to the clock.

Six minutes since I was supposed to be on break.

I sigh again in impatience. I wanted to surprise Sam at lunch today. She's been in my life for a year exactly today, and I wanted to surprise her. To celebrate her being in my life and making in not only bearable, but happy.

The guy sidles slowly up to the counter with just a jug of milk in hand, and I want to bang my head against a wall.

Instead, I put on a false smile and hurry him out the door, flipping the closed sign as I go.

I don't care that the next person on shift hasn't shown up yet; I'm going to go see my girlfriend, who will be let out for lunch in only a few minutes.

I jump on the motorcycle Jacob had unwillingly donated to me for the day, and take off in the direction to Forks to pick up Chinese food, Sam's favorite.

I get to the old high school just after they let out for lunch, but I don't spot my girlfriend just yet as I stride through the doors.

Brady waves at me as I walk past, bumping Jacob in the arm to glare at me.

With one last look around, I hurry to the front of the cafeteria with the paper bags of food, taking the lids off of all the items and setting them on the expanse of two trays. Grinning, I place a rose on the ugly green plastic as a finishing touch before lifting the arrangement in two different hands to search the cafeteria once more.

Sam is here this time, bent slightly over the table, talking to Brady and Collin as they try to keep her distracted. She looks to be getting annoyed though, straightening up to leave only to have to bend back over when Brady says something or another.

I start over, smiling widely as I come up from behind to wait for her to turn around.

"Alright," she says, "alright, I'm starving so just let me go get some food and you can finish your _fascinating_ -"

She pushes off the table, never turning around as she backs away, spinning- and I really should have seen it coming.

But I can't believe it as I watch her fall, crashing hard to the floor as the food I was just carrying follows her. It was not in slow motion. I just blink, and then she's on the ground drowning in orange chicken and teriyaki chicken, and spring rolls, and noodles.

Her mouth opens in shock, looking up with wide, disbelieving, eyes like she can't really believe what just happened. And I'm hit with such a strong sense of déjà vu as I gape at her sprawled, familiar, form- almost expecting her to leap to her feet and start cursing me.

But then her eyes lighten in humor, she throws her head back, and she laughs, leaving me more stunned then ever when I realize I've never really heard her laugh before.

She's giggled, and smiled, and chuckled, but I've never heard this loud joyful timbre. It's a pretty sound that turns several heads that weren't already staring at the girl on the floor with the unfortunate mess around her.

He laughter is a surprisingly high tone for her normally carefully low voice, and her eyes dance with something that stutters in my chest and makes my knees weak.

The sound slowly breaks off to silent gasps, staring up at me with a large smile, as I remain frozen to my spot, arms still outstretched as if holding invisible trays.

She tilts her head, resting in on her right shoulder as a noodle falls from her hair and past the grin.

"Please don't hit me with a door too," she says, amusement lacing her voice.

A snort bursts through my lips before my brain can even process the comment, but when it does, I break down in laughter too.

"Oh, baby, I'm so sorry," I manage between gasps as I kneel down to wipe orange sauce out of her eyes. "I was trying to surprise you."

"Mission accomplished," she grins, plucking chicken from her lap and popping it in her mouth. "I'm very shocked to be in this position again- and try to pick as much as you can of this, up, because I'm hungry and this is delicious."

I nod, tugging the tray closer to collect the food, that hadn't fallen on the floor, from her lap.

When that's done, I sheepishly help her up and back over to the table that shakes under the fist banging of Seth, who is laughing so hard that he's not able to suck in a breath. His face is slowly turning purple as Jacob beats on his back with wide eyes.

"Can't. Breathe!" He gasps, only able to suck in a fraction amount of air.

I roll my eyes at my dramatic brother.

It wasn't _that_ funny.

...

I silently let out a sigh as my girlfriend once again glances up from her work, through her crooked bangs, at me. Her stare is thoughtful and shy, and colored in hesitance. Yet there still seems to be a determination behind it. A desperation.

She's been looking at me like that since Christmas, never bringing up what's been on her mind, and the silent stare just sets me on edge.

I sigh again, audible this time, and move from my desk to lie next to Sam on the bed.

I prop my head in my hand, turning my body to give her my full attention.

"What is it?" I ask softly.

It's amusing, yet concerning, to watch her face slowly turn pink as she looks back up at me (she had looked back down at her homework the moment I stood up).

"Nothing," she says quickly, eyes darting away.

"Alright," I say patiently, rolling onto my back to relax. I throw my arm over my eyes, trying not to let my lips twitch. She's watching me.

After several moments, enough for me to get my expression under complete control, the bed shifts slightly.

"Um..." Fingers ghost hesitantly across my forearm.

I move it out of the way for her, seeing stars from the sudden light. Her face is flushed, reminding me a little of Christmas with it in contrast to her eyes. I wait patiently as her eyes flit around the room until they finally settle on me, a steel determination behind her embarrassment.

"I love you and..." He voice wavers despite the certainty in it. "I want to go all the way with you."

My amusement at her struggle vanishes, as my eyes sharpen to really take in her expression.

My heart is in my fingertips, and I hate that arousal immediately hits me, even as I feel concern.

I reach out to touch her face, to make sure that what her expression says is true.

"Are you sure?" I search her eyes, looking for any doubt or uncertainty, or an insecure, hidden, reason that is anything other than the reason she wants to be with me should.

She nods. "I've been thinking about it since Christmas. Leah, you _died_. I _lost_ you. And I can't live without you- I can't- I know that now. So I need to live with you and push my past to where it belongs. _In the past_. And I know that it won't be easy, I am so messed up, but we've been working on it and I want to _try_."

My furrowed brow smooths out, my muscles relaxing as she explains her reason, and I turn to mush in her presence. She really means it. I smile at her, which she seems to relax at. Her blush recedes some, as I don't immediately laugh in her face at what she wants.

"Okay," I say, and a thrill goes through me. "But at any time, you can tell me to stop. If you feel uncomfortable or you decide you're not ready, _tell_ me and I'll stop. Okay?"

She nods, biting her lip nervously. Then she throws her leg to the bed on the other side of my hip and kisses me.

I know from experience that she likes this position better than most. Being in control, or the allusion of control, usually has us going father. It's when her back hits the bed, or couch, or what ever she lies down on, that she starts to panic.

I gently push her back by the shoulders, trying my hardest to not in any way embarrass her.

"We can't do this right now," I say breathlessly.

"Oh," she stutters, somewhat relieved, but also disappointed. "Why?"

The door slams inward at that moment.

"Hey, Leah, have you seen my- OH MY GOD!" Seth spins around, slamming the door after him.

"That's why," I deadpan, tipping my head backward to stare at the closed door for a moment. I snort in amusement before turning to look back up at my wide-eyed girlfriend.

"Sorry!" A muffled voice comes through the door. "You should really lock the door next time."

"Knock," I snarl, making Sam jump. I grin quickly to show her I'm not really mad, but Seth doesn't have to know that. Wolves can get very territorial.

"Yeah sure," he says quickly. I wait patiently during his pause. "Um, have you seen my really cool shirt? The one with the werewolf and-"

I chuck Sam's textbook at the door and the bang resonates around the entire house. Other slams follow as Seth scrambles away, no doubt running into some walls and tripping over doorframes.

I laugh silently, turning back to face Sam who now has an amused smile pulling her lips crookedly across her face.

I sit up, holding her carefully to keep her from falling off my lap.

"We're going to make this extra special, alright? We'll take our time; we don't have to rush."

She nods, and her smirk falls to something more grateful and at peace.

* * *

 **A/N: This site is really starting to annoy me. I thought that whatever wasn't working would be fixed by now but the updates still aren't getting through. I gland at least some of you are seeing these, though.**

 **Please review; only one more chapter!**

 **~Silver~**


	30. Chapter 30

Crushing Gravity

Chapter 30

Leah's POV

I hated my cousin. Ever since she got together with my ex boyfriend, our relationship was in ruins. Before then, we were best friends, as close as sisters, but it all ended in a single moment- even if I didn't realize that it was that moment that was the downfall.

Because Sam Uley imprinted on my best friend, my cousin, the girl who was like my sister. In that single moment of their meeting, everything changed.

And I never really forgave either of them for it afterwards.

Until recently- when I felt it too. After that, I couldn't really blame them for anything. I understood.

So it's strange now, a year later that I went to my once close cousin for advice.

The truth is, was that I was nervous. Everything with my imprint, who is a girl, is new and unfamiliar and has the potential for disaster. My relationship with Samantha is so very different than it was with Sam or any other relationship before him. It feels so very different, not just emotionally, but the physical aspect is like having my first kiss for the first time all over again when I was fourteen.

In away, it was my first kiss all over again. Kissing a girl is nothing like kissing a boy, especially not Sam Uley.

She's short, always having to rise up on her toes when we kiss, and I can envelop her completely in my arms. She's soft, her face always smooth under my fingers, with lips that mold with mine rather than smother them.

Her body is all gentle curves instead of hard ridges, and she just doesn't have that smell that all men seem to have.

I love the way her long hair spills through my fingers and gives me something so soft to clutch and draw her face nearer...

And it's because of these absolute differences that I can't trust my few experiences with Sam Uley, to know what to do when my girlfriend and I finally make love. I'm lost on what to do except for general ideas that I'm not even sure how I know.

So I find myself with Emily, sitting next to her on the couch like we used to always sit together, asking for advice on how to sleep with my girlfriend.

It was, of course, somewhat awkward at first and I loathed talking about my girlfriend in that context with someone who I was once hopelessly competing with. But she soothed my worries, suggested doing some research (which I've been doing since I fell in love with a girl), and broke off into awkward silence with me when her new husband walked into the room.

It's another anniversary; the second best day of my life after actually imprinting. It's the day Sam kissed me out in the woods, under the stars, and became my girlfriend. It might just be the day she becomes even more.

My heart thrums through every part of my body in nervousness and anticipation in my dim room, several candles casting shadows against the walls, flickering.

Sam's light blush is visible in the soft light, dusting her cheeks and turning the tips of her ears pink as she bunches my blouse in her hand. I trace her blush softly with my fingers as she remains still, curled into me.

I try to steady my nerves as I wait for her- I will not be the one to initiate this. It might not even happen tonight, and that's okay too. I might even be relieved.

But then she looks up at me through her long lashes, with those eyes so green and expressive, and my mouth goes dry as my pulse leaps into my throat, and she kisses me.

She presses those smooth girly lips to my own, molding in a press of soft flesh that gives equally under the soft pressure, not one consuming the other. My hand slides from her soft, stubble-less, cheek into her hair, drawing her into me like a breath.

"Are you sure?" I ask.

"Yes," she breathes, sounding slightly winded.

So I slowly draw my hand lower, tracing her shoulder, until I reach the back of her dress that she went to dinner in. Slowly, giving her time to change her mind, I draw the zipper all the way down to her lower back, ghosting my fingers over her cool skin.

"Is this okay?" I ask for clarification, pushing the straps from her shoulders to expose her modest bra clad breasts.

"Yes," she exhales again, trembling as she fumbles with the buttons on my blouse.

Already, this is nothing like my first time with Sam Uley. It was rough and forceful, being pushed into things, ripping buttons, battling for dominance.

This is gentle. It's slow and tentative, exploring something that feels undeniably right. It's not about dominating, but submitting, willingly, everything to her and her me.

Our clothes fall away slowly until we are just cuddling and kissing in our natural skin, sneaking glances and caressing curves.

I trail my fingers from her rib cage, all the way down to her knee, and back up again as she hesitantly cups my breast. She's touched me there before, a few times actually, but never like this. I clench my legs together, trying to ignore the wetness between my legs for the moment.

"Are you sure?" I ask again, pulling back to stare at her, searching for anything that tells me to stop. I search the bond that I feel constantly warming my chest, that would tell me that this would hurt her if I continued.

She gives a jerky nod, so I move down the bed, kneeling in front of her bent knees clenched shut.

I touch them gently, watching as her jaw clenches and fear and doubt flash in her eyes.

"It's okay," I tell her. "It's okay; we can stop if you want- anything that you want."

Her expression flashes, her lips part, and then she relaxes, letting her legs spread willingly.

She stares at me with a trust I've never seen before, and my very core throbs with want.

But I move slowly, caressing her legs with my fingers and lips. I take my time to let her get used to me here between her legs, tasting her in new places.

Soon, the scent of her arousal hits my senses, ensnaring my mind with her sweet smell.

I glance up again when I reach her wet center, and she watches nervously, trustingly, as I lower my head between her quivering legs.

She gasps, and her hands fly to my hair.

I flinch, thinking I'd done something wrong and she was pushing me away, but her fingers tug on her fistful, pressing me more firmly against her sex as her legs clench my head.

I shiver at her taste, crave it even as I lick it up. The inside of my legs are slick with my own need, throbbing in my core.

My hands wined around her, clutching her to my mouth.

She doesn't make a sound. All that happens is she slowly tenses as her breathing becomes more ragged and chopped. She doesn't make a sound but I can feel the affect I'm having on her, smell it, and taste it on my tongue with every stroke.

She doesn't make a sound.

I graze my teeth over the small swollen nub of her clitoris, and then-

She arches off the bed, breasts pointing high to the ceiling as her quick breath gives a small hitch, and she is brought to the first orgasm she's ever had.

Her head slams back against the pillow, eyes wider than I've ever seen them, before they shut tight as the feeling overwhelms her.

When it is over, her body sags back to the mattress.

I sit up slowly, taking the time to burn every sight, smell, and feeling, into my memory. My entire body still throbs with want as I look up at my new lover.

She looks at me with hooded eyes, cheeks flushed in a dark blush, and her raven hair is wild and sticking slightly to her for head with sweat. Her bare chest rises and falls with her near silent pants, and her hands loosen and fall from my hair to the tangled sheets.

It's the look in her lidded eyes, though, that that really makes me wet. The wonder and surprise and awe have a weight of their own in that trusting gaze.

I dip my head again, brushing my lips against her navel and trailing slow kisses up her stomach, flicking my tongue out to taste her salty skin along the way. When I finally reach her breasts, smooth and gentle round mounds, I tenderly take a hardened nipple into my mouth, relishing in the fact that she's actually letting me touch her like this. That she actually _wants_ me to. Her hands again slip into my hair, but it's a far looser grip, more of a caress of encouragement.

When I meet her lips, she readily opens up to me with a soft moan so quiet that it could be mistaken for a sigh if I didn't feel it in my very core.

Our breasts brush and I press my body into her, wanting to feel all of her against me. She whimpers. Finally, she makes a sound. It's one that drives me crazy.

I pull back to look at her and she still has that surprised wonder in her dark eyes.

"I-" she whispers. "... I didn't know it could feel like that."

I don't know what to say to that or how to respond, so I just stay silent, slowly tracing her side and trying to memorize this moment perfectly.

"Umm, should I..." Blushing, she bends her knee, bringing it up to press against my crotch.

Lightning zips through my stomach, settling in a steady throb in my sex. An odd whimper escapes, catching me unaware as I clench my eyes shut. My arms shake under me, threatening to fold.

Sam gasps silently in surprise at my present wetness, and I quickly look to her expression.

Her eyes are wide, and I almost start to feel ashamed until a coy smile spreads across her face.

It's an expression I've never seen on her before, and it only seems to grow as her confidence does.

...

"You're a fucking asshat."

I look up, completely startled, at the person who had just pushed into my room to cross their arms in the doorway with a glare.

"I'm sorry?" I sputter, wide eyed, as Sam kicks my door shut and strides over to spin my roll-y chair around to face her.

"An asshat. A big, fucking, Abraham Lincoln, top hat on a big fat, poop stained ass. That's what you are."

"What did I do?" I ask, completely bewildered, as my girlfriend crawls onto my lap like she isn't yelling at me for something I'd presumably done- something bad enough to be labeled an asshat that hasn't been wiped.

Her glare only gets fiercer as she rests both her hands on my shoulders. A lump forms in my throat as her knees press into either side of my hip. I've always noticed that she looks really hot when she's mad, but that doesn't mean I like it when she's mad at _me_.

"Why are you still here?"

I blink. "What?" This is only getting more and more confusing.

"Why are you still here?" She repeats. "I've talked to Seth, and your mom, and practically everyone else- and _why are you still here_ when every single person I talked to has said that all you've ever wanted to do is _leave_ and go to college? I know you hate it here, Leah; you loathe working at the stop and shop, and going on patrols, and staying close to the reservation. Is it for me?"

Finally knowing what I'm in trouble for, I'm able to relax some, but not all the way because Sam's glare is still full force and actually a little scary.

"Partly," I admit. "But even if you weren't here, I would still have to stay because of being Wolfe. I'm a protector of the tribe and it's my responsibility to stay and defend it."

Her face smoothes into a blank one.

"I stand corrected; you're not an asshat. You are a doormat that all the other asshats and douchebags have wiped their feet on after stepping in dog shit." Her expression turns fierce again, only down a notch. "Who said? Who said that it is your responsibility? The elders? Sam? Well guess what? Jacob is your pack leader and I talked to him and he said you can go whenever you want. Do whatever you want. There are eleven fucking wolves on this reservation and it's not out of some destiny. It's because a tame vegetarian coven decided to live nearby, kicking in the wolf gene."

Some hurt insecurity starts in the pit of my stomach, crawling up to clutch at my chest.

"Stop that," Sam scowls in annoyance. "Stop feeling like that."

"What about you?" I ask lowly, trying to push my stupid feelings away. I know that she loves me and isn't just trying to get rid of me. "I don't want to leave you." My voice cracks.

Her face finally softens into a smile.

"Which is why I talked to Mrs. Fuller and my brother-"

"The adoption went through?" I ask, excited for her.

She slaps my arm lightly. "Stop trying to change the subject." Her lips twitch wider. "I talked to them and Lyla, and we decided that I'll finish out this year in school, and then I'll do senior year out in California. So you better start studying for SATs and ACTs and filling out applications, because I'm going to California next year. You can't very well leave you imprint in a big scary city like that, can you?"

Excitement, real, adrenaline pumping, excitement starts in my veins.

"Really?" I ask, starting to smile wide. "We're really going?"

"If you can get into college," she teases. "And we can always visit during breaks and if anything happens, we're just a phone call aw- mngh-"

I kiss her hard in joy, tugging on her waist to draw her closer as her initial tensing in surprise, relaxes again.

She rocks her hips gently against me, for no other reason than just to feel closer.

Sam is nowhere near ready for spontaneous, out of control, sex; she still cringes if I do something she's not prepared for, but that's not something that I want right now anyway.

This relationship is new, and different, and seems like the first relationship I've ever been in, but I know that we're going to be okay.

* * *

 **A/N: This story is 104 pages and 52,194 words... Wow, I could have written a book. I am writing a book, by the way, but I don't know if I'll ever finish it. I've been on chapter six for over a year so...**

 **So, what do we think of the last chapter? Is it suitable enough for you guys, cleared up enough? Could you tell any that I was awkward writing the, er, sex scene. I could never actually say the words I used, I always feel awkward about that kind of stuff.**

 **Thanks so much for reading, guys, and please let me know what you think.**

 **~Silver~**


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